I'm born again, not yesterday
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
I'm born again, not yesterday
Hi all
Well after a bit of a bad day at work (year 11 exam chaos) and a counselling session. I was feeling vulnerable so I called my sponsor and starting to feel a tad more human.
It's Tuesday, the day my AH (separated for nearly 3 months) pays money into my account. I've had no contact with him for 2 weeks after he stopped meetings, again. Anyway I thought he'd miss payment as he hasn't spoken to me or our 11 year old daughter (she blocked him too) and thought his resentment and angst was probably sky high. Anyway I checked my bank and there it was. Except he hadn't put his phone money in. He's paying it until contract expires then he can get his own.
I unblocked him and sent him a message.
Me: thanks for money you forgot phone though
Him: is it due? Ok I'll put it in when I get to internet connection. I'm proper in limbo at moment sue, just missing a lot of who I used to be. I miss (daughter) terribly, I miss everything actually. I'm going to a meeting )wait for it) tomorrow. Im going to reach out to Keith (sponsor he dropped) going to get back on track (was never on track) I'm sick of not knowing where I'm going in life (other than the bar ho hum)
Me: good luck with your journey (to the bar, I didn't put bracketed bits in message, I restrained myself)
Re-block
So even though I had a bad day I can still smell a ' say what she wants to hear' a mile away.
The clue ladies and gentlemen is? it's payday. He's going to a meeting 'tomorrow' not today. You can bet your bottom dollar this is another new attempt at recovery and will end up in the same way as the others. Nowhere
Oh well he'll start again next Tuesday. Round and round and round and round.
The early pain of a co-dependent heart has been replaced by a smile, a sigh and getting on with my Tuesday evening, anxiety free and as safe as houses.
Bless our Alcoholic others eh? Xxx
Well after a bit of a bad day at work (year 11 exam chaos) and a counselling session. I was feeling vulnerable so I called my sponsor and starting to feel a tad more human.
It's Tuesday, the day my AH (separated for nearly 3 months) pays money into my account. I've had no contact with him for 2 weeks after he stopped meetings, again. Anyway I thought he'd miss payment as he hasn't spoken to me or our 11 year old daughter (she blocked him too) and thought his resentment and angst was probably sky high. Anyway I checked my bank and there it was. Except he hadn't put his phone money in. He's paying it until contract expires then he can get his own.
I unblocked him and sent him a message.
Me: thanks for money you forgot phone though
Him: is it due? Ok I'll put it in when I get to internet connection. I'm proper in limbo at moment sue, just missing a lot of who I used to be. I miss (daughter) terribly, I miss everything actually. I'm going to a meeting )wait for it) tomorrow. Im going to reach out to Keith (sponsor he dropped) going to get back on track (was never on track) I'm sick of not knowing where I'm going in life (other than the bar ho hum)
Me: good luck with your journey (to the bar, I didn't put bracketed bits in message, I restrained myself)
Re-block
So even though I had a bad day I can still smell a ' say what she wants to hear' a mile away.
The clue ladies and gentlemen is? it's payday. He's going to a meeting 'tomorrow' not today. You can bet your bottom dollar this is another new attempt at recovery and will end up in the same way as the others. Nowhere
Oh well he'll start again next Tuesday. Round and round and round and round.
The early pain of a co-dependent heart has been replaced by a smile, a sigh and getting on with my Tuesday evening, anxiety free and as safe as houses.
Bless our Alcoholic others eh? Xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
Wonderful words, Suzy- needed support- called sponsor- felt a little better, being able to deal with a situation (text) while maintaining boundaries, pain fading, smiling, being mindful and grounded in the now, no anxiety and SAFE.
Awesome, thanks for the uplifting share. PJ
Awesome, thanks for the uplifting share. PJ
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
