Maskita

Hi. I am a hard core wine drinker. Went to detox, the to an awful rehab facility, which I left. It was more like jail, no nurture. I am trying to get back on the bed waiting list for another one. I've been to meetings, but they are just an hour long, then back to reality, which isn't good. My boyfriend and I of 4 years just split a month ago. I moved out in blackout...said some horrible things to him (so I've been told). We had a very loving and kind relationship, except when I drank to excess. He will barely talk to me. And I am crushed. I'm so alone and crazy sad. And of, course dealing with drinking issue. I just don't know what to do.

Any advise will be much appreciated.

PhoenixJ

hello Mask. Welcome. Drinking will not help- you know that, I think. Remember the HALTS rule..if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (or thirsty) or Sad, fix it- or get someone help you fix it. Go to lots of meetings. Stick to getting to rehab. I have heard people say to me 'It was not for me.'. It is not for anyone- who wants to be an alcoholic? Stick it out. See your doc about withdrawals. See a counsellor. Always- rest, eat, hydrate.
Support to you. PJ

january161992

great job Maskita on demonstrating willingness by taking action to stay sober. some of us practically live in meetings when we are new ... i mean 4 or 5 or more per day.

youve also demonstrated some humility by asking for help ... great job!

at your next meeting continue with that humility and ask another woman to sponsor you. her job is to take you thru the steps which is where the recovery is!

and keep posting here daily to let everyone especially the new(er) comers, know how youre doing

red3215

Hello there. I think most on this board can relate to feeling lost and helpless at some point. I also lost a man I really liked mainly because of alcoholism, the first man who treated me well after nothing but abusive ones before him. It tormented me for some time that I behaved that way in return.
But after staying sober a year and a half we're in touch again and planning to meet up.
Alcoholism can make you feel like things are more hopeless than they are. It sounds like you really need to talk to someone right now. I don't support the AA program but it can help a lot to go to meetings and stay after a bit just to talk to others who know exactly what you're going through.
Also can you get a professional counselor? There are a lot of specialists who understand addiction.
Build a large support group and fight this thing every day. That's my advice.
Hang in there.

gregknight

I can certainly relate. Sounds so sickeningly familiar. No matter what else is going on in your life, Maskita, your first and for now, ONLY priority, is to do whatever it takes to stop drinking. It is life or death. The good thing is you obviously recognize your problem and have made some plans and attempts to deal with it. If one meeting is only giving you an hour of respite, try more. Many counselors will insist on a meeting every day, sometime two a day, if that is what it takes. Do you have a sponsor? That may help, give you someone to call when you feel the wine-bug in your head.

Berrybean

Hiya. Just remember that meetings along is not the AA program of recovery. The Steps with a sponsor is the program of recovery and that work needs to happen outside meetings. Hopefully at meetings you have been given some numbers. Call them for chats. See if people can meet for coffee and cake or a walk or something between meetings. There is also plenty of AA literature you can be reading between meetings - the Big Book, Living Sober, and, later when yiu start thinking about sponsorship and doing that step work, The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book.

There are also some great online resources to explore, such as AA Speakers that can be downloaded to listen to. I use this site... 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes | Alcoholism & Addiction Recovery
When I was in my first year (and now sometimes as well) I downloaded them onto a cheap little mp3 player so that I could listen when I was doing housework, walking or driving to and from work, taking leisurely walks, or in bed.

There are simple tools that really help... prayer, gratitude lists, reading and posting here, journal writing, and helping other people are just a few.

Also, plan to avoid those HALT triggers (Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired ), and have contingency plans to deal with them if they crop up. They are all bizarrely powerful, esp in early months, but even further into recovery can definitely affect the quality of our sobriety.

Keep reading and posting.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

SoberInStAlbans

Great job for coming by and talking Maskita! Do you have anyone you can rely on right now? Being alone will make this all the more difficult. Even if you have to basically call someone up and say, I am serious this time and I need your help. If that is not an option, find a meeting and make some connections. You can't go it alone. Hang in there!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Maskita

For me comign here and becoming part of the SR community really helped,

Posting here daily, and multiple times a day, asking for support and giving support to others focused me and helped me to start to turn things around.

I know it can help you too

D

Forward12

That's great it sounds like you've been going to meetings, but they can go as long as you want. Meetings are everywhere from early morning to late at night so you could attend numerous a day. There are also dedicated AA centers that often have back to back meetings all day so you could do that also.
Looking into inpatient rehab is another option which would be helpful. You can turn things around!

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.