Just plain sad
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: mays landing nj
Posts: 168
Just plain sad
Had a really rough last year or so. Last year I found texts my husband had with a women at work and he tells me it was nothing but for some reason I just can't seem to let it go. It stopped for a long time and recently I see it again. And every time it makes me upset even though the texts now seem innocent enough. I think what I am feeling is that he knows how this makes me uncomfortable but it continues. Anyway that is just a portion of how the year has been. I've decided today to get a real handle on how much I drink as I think I have been using it to help with my feelings. Made the mistake the other night of drinking too much and don't remember what I said to him. I don't think it was good. Thank you listening. I found this forum long ago when I was dealing with my father's drinking and in some ways I think I may be starting to behave like him so I want to turn this around.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Glad you posted JD! I'm sorry you're hurting but I think you're making a great choice to "get a handle on how much you drink"......I hope that means you'll give sobriety a shot! There is no magic answer for life's problems. Sobriety will not fix life. But it will help you approach the problems of life with a clear mind so you can make the healthiest decisions for you along the way. Best of luck to you on this journey! Sending positive vibes your way! 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
Hi JD. You alluded to a history with your dad -Jack? That you found SR a while back, hubby and text concerns (you read his texts?), feeling lack of control, sad, self medicating with booze. You posted this via the mental health bit of SR. Perhaps see a counsellor/AA/SMART meetings about the booze, see your doc about your physical health, psychologist for what sounds to me (as I have it- tho I am NOT a doctor) like depression...
Doing something different and action will yield results. With support- not alone.
Empathy, support to you. Keep posting- perhaps post on a common thread for more support. PJ
Doing something different and action will yield results. With support- not alone.
Empathy, support to you. Keep posting- perhaps post on a common thread for more support. PJ
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
I'm glad you're reaching out for support, and I hope you'll consider giving sobriety a shot. My experience with alcohol was that it amplified the severity of most situations. I do think your husband is entitled to some privacy with his phone, but on the same hand he also shouldn't be hiding things.
My wife had a similar issue with me before we were married, I was texting another woman and while the nature of the texts was innocent enough I found myself questioning where my loyalties really were. I came to realize that if I am giving my attention to a member of the opposite sex I'm not giving 100% to the woman I've committed my life to. I had to go "no contact" with that other woman for my marriage to have the peace that it deserved.
My wife had a similar issue with me before we were married, I was texting another woman and while the nature of the texts was innocent enough I found myself questioning where my loyalties really were. I came to realize that if I am giving my attention to a member of the opposite sex I'm not giving 100% to the woman I've committed my life to. I had to go "no contact" with that other woman for my marriage to have the peace that it deserved.
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