A great leveller
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 29
A great leveller
So, I'm fast approaching 6 months of sobriety. Life is full, happy &, of course stressful. It is often easy to become overwhelmed juggling life as a mother of a small one, a wife & working full time. Being sober gives me the determination and coping methods to deal with it.
Yesterday, I found out that my auntie has died. She was 59 & had multiple organ failure due to chronic alcoholism. Before 'it' got her, she was beautiful, funny & full of life. She was estranged from the family for a long time & died a slow painful and unhappy death. I feel incredibly sad for her.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting. I guess I just needed to get it down somewhere. The very thing that has controlled my life for years and that nearly took everything from me, has taken her life. A glimpse of how life will look in 20 odd years time.
To everyone struggling, do anything you can, this **** will kill you.
Rip auntie sue xxx
Yesterday, I found out that my auntie has died. She was 59 & had multiple organ failure due to chronic alcoholism. Before 'it' got her, she was beautiful, funny & full of life. She was estranged from the family for a long time & died a slow painful and unhappy death. I feel incredibly sad for her.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting. I guess I just needed to get it down somewhere. The very thing that has controlled my life for years and that nearly took everything from me, has taken her life. A glimpse of how life will look in 20 odd years time.
To everyone struggling, do anything you can, this **** will kill you.
Rip auntie sue xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hey Notwonderful, I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
A lot in your post that I can relate to. I'm 6 months sober and juggle working full time with looking after little kids. I've also lost family members to alcohol.
I don't know whether it's something to do with this stage of recovery or maybe it's me but I really hate alcohol at the moment. I mean, I really hate it. I find myself sort of sneering at it when I walk past (never down) the alcohol aisles in supermarkets. And yesterday at work I got into a heated debate with colleagues about how evil alcohol is. I argued that if alcohol was a person and went around killing as many people as it does and causing as much misery as it does, we would have locked it up or executed it ages ago. We wouldn't just let it get on with wreaking havoc and then quietly clear up after it. I guess my colleagues aren't alcoholic; they're definitely more moderate in their views because they didn't really get it. If everyone could view alcohol with their "take it or leave it" mentality, I guess booze would never do anyone any harm.
I feel desperately sorry for your auntie Sue and for your whole family. It's a disgrace the number of beautiful, funny and full of life people this drug has destroyed. And what's worse it can make you believe you are sort of doomed to follow the same fate. I remember thinking not that long ago, "my dad was alcoholic, his dad was an alcoholic, my uncle, my aunt that drowned herself, my cousin that hanged himself and my other cousin that no one's heard from in years were/are all alcoholic...... I might as well accept my destiny and pour myself a drink". Thank god I found the strength to fight back. Your aunt and my relatives didn't die in vain. We can honour their lives by staying sober and breaking the cycle of addiction that destroys generation after generation of families. That's the best way for me to show alcohol how much I truly hate it.
RIP your auntie Sue and all the others xxxx
A lot in your post that I can relate to. I'm 6 months sober and juggle working full time with looking after little kids. I've also lost family members to alcohol.
I don't know whether it's something to do with this stage of recovery or maybe it's me but I really hate alcohol at the moment. I mean, I really hate it. I find myself sort of sneering at it when I walk past (never down) the alcohol aisles in supermarkets. And yesterday at work I got into a heated debate with colleagues about how evil alcohol is. I argued that if alcohol was a person and went around killing as many people as it does and causing as much misery as it does, we would have locked it up or executed it ages ago. We wouldn't just let it get on with wreaking havoc and then quietly clear up after it. I guess my colleagues aren't alcoholic; they're definitely more moderate in their views because they didn't really get it. If everyone could view alcohol with their "take it or leave it" mentality, I guess booze would never do anyone any harm.
I feel desperately sorry for your auntie Sue and for your whole family. It's a disgrace the number of beautiful, funny and full of life people this drug has destroyed. And what's worse it can make you believe you are sort of doomed to follow the same fate. I remember thinking not that long ago, "my dad was alcoholic, his dad was an alcoholic, my uncle, my aunt that drowned herself, my cousin that hanged himself and my other cousin that no one's heard from in years were/are all alcoholic...... I might as well accept my destiny and pour myself a drink". Thank god I found the strength to fight back. Your aunt and my relatives didn't die in vain. We can honour their lives by staying sober and breaking the cycle of addiction that destroys generation after generation of families. That's the best way for me to show alcohol how much I truly hate it.
RIP your auntie Sue and all the others xxxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 29
Thank you so much for all of your kind words.
Kenton, thank you. I identified with everything you said. I hate it. Viciously. The inevitable 'destiny' and the broken families. I always keep at the front of my mind, that there's an very influential small one watching me. What I do helps create the person he is. It kills me think that he may ever think it's his destiny. That is my number one driver in maintaining my sobriety. Thanks again.
Kenton, thank you. I identified with everything you said. I hate it. Viciously. The inevitable 'destiny' and the broken families. I always keep at the front of my mind, that there's an very influential small one watching me. What I do helps create the person he is. It kills me think that he may ever think it's his destiny. That is my number one driver in maintaining my sobriety. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
I don't know if alcohol is "evil," or just a benign chemical, but I think that the way our society glamorizes drinking and alcohol in general is definitely evil. It's a very bad message to glamorize what is a ultimately just a cheap, incredibly dangerous drug.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
I am so sorry for your loss, Notwonderful 
You described what could have been my alternate reality. I was on that path until I put down the booze and got honest about my life.
Thank you for posting
You described what could have been my alternate reality. I was on that path until I put down the booze and got honest about my life.
Thank you for posting
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I'm sorry for your loss. You sound like you are doing the right things to be sober, take care of yourself and be a great role model for your son.
She didn't have to go that way, but chose to- you are choosing not to end up like that. You can do it.
She didn't have to go that way, but chose to- you are choosing not to end up like that. You can do it.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Originally Posted by Notwonderful 
So, I'm fast approaching 6 months of sobriety. Life is full, happy &, of course stressful. It is often easy to become overwhelmed juggling life as a mother of a small one, a wife & working full time. Being sober gives me the determination and coping methods to deal with it.
Yesterday, I found out that my auntie has died. She was 59 & had multiple organ failure due to chronic alcoholism. Before 'it' got her, she was beautiful, funny & full of life. She was estranged from the family for a long time & died a slow painful and unhappy death. I feel incredibly sad for her.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting. I guess I just needed to get it down somewhere. The very thing that has controlled my life for years and that nearly took everything from me, has taken her life. A glimpse of how life will look in 20 odd years time.
To everyone struggling, do anything you can, this **** will kill you.
Rip auntie sue xxx
Yesterday, I found out that my auntie has died. She was 59 & had multiple organ failure due to chronic alcoholism. Before 'it' got her, she was beautiful, funny & full of life. She was estranged from the family for a long time & died a slow painful and unhappy death. I feel incredibly sad for her.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting. I guess I just needed to get it down somewhere. The very thing that has controlled my life for years and that nearly took everything from me, has taken her life. A glimpse of how life will look in 20 odd years time.
To everyone struggling, do anything you can, this **** will kill you.
Rip auntie sue xxx
We are all blessed to have stopped, or be in the process of stopping.
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