KPForever

I've joined this forum a while ago. But I can't seem to stay sober. I feel like a failure. I even thought of creating a new user ID for this site so no one would no it's me - the person that just keeps coming back to Day 1.

I'm trying again.

Alcohol has taken a lot from me. A LOT. But I still have a few people/things, a chance at a good future in my life. I know i'll lose those too if I continue drinking. But I keep thinking each time I drink it will be different.

tomls

Welcome back!! Don't give up! Make this your last.

PhoenixJ

THE FIRST BIT IS IMPORTANT. just accept you cannot drink. I had to accept this..not now, tomorrow- in 5 years or 30. For me that takes a daily default of this acceptance- plus learning new strategies- every day to cope with not drinking. Support to you.

Nonsensical

Having multiple day 1's is not that rare on this forum.

You're here, that's what matters. It's all of us against the addiction. Welcome back to the fight.

What are you doing to make this one your last day one? What's the plan?

KPForever

I've been surfing the net all morning looking for recovery options or a plan. I'm feeling kind of lost, don't know where to start.

1. Tell myself never pick up that first drink. I may be able to stop after a few, but I will not take the chance of finding out. This one will be tough for me.

2. AA meeting in the mornings. Start the day off right.

That's about it for a plan so far. I need to find hobby or something that I can concentrate on to pass the time....

Soberwolf

Really good to see you

tomsteve

I strongly encourage you to get a copy of the big book at a meeting to learn what the program of AA is. also go to different meetings at different times of the day. mix it up and listen for similarities in the thinking.
hobbies are good,too. ya might wanna look back through your past and see iffen there was anything you used to be interested in.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a great start KPF, and welcome back. Spending time here is a good way to pass some of your time as you can learn from folks who have been where you are before.

Renew12

Glad your here. Try not to let the thought of day one again, trip you up. Many of us have had hundreds if not thousands of them. Then low and behold the quit stuck.

The embarrassment is fairly typical. Likely, no one wants to be a repeat offender. So very glad you had the courage to come back and tell on yourself. Some people's fear, low self concept keep them out there. Dying a new day. Instead of living. Nobody wants that for their fellow brothers & sisters. We understand the suffering of addiction.

You can get your life back one day at a time. Glad your not giving up. You can do this. It's just a day. Anyone can go one day without drinking. Break it into smaller time frames if that helps.

Your plan is looking good. Stick around and spend time reading, or posting. Think there's games at the bottom pg. Bet your post helped to alleviate some of those fears that may be swirling around in your head. May give courage to others feeling the same way.

In just a few days without the poison, you will likely start to feel better. Take good care of yourself. Stick around, there are people here who understand, care...

KPForever

Half way through Day 1. The day feels so long!

CreativeThinker

Hey KP...glad you came back! Onward and upward!

KPForever

Day 1 - 75% done.

And the anxiety is increasing and what's worse is it's dawning on me even more so the reality of my addiction...like all the stupid things i've done, said, people i've hurt...i feel like i've done some irreparable damage...but I don't know what. This sense of doom.
I'm not going to drink today. I know that. But I hate this feeling. And everyone I talk to (other than this site) says 'I told you so', 'why did you drink', 'now you're feeling bad, but you didn't feel bad going to the liquor store'.

Tomorrow - AA meeting...I think that will help.

Femaleboss1980

Welldone Kp
Day 1 almost completed x

Dee74

What kinds of things, apart from posting, have you been doing up to now to stay sober KPF?

D

Midwest1981

welcome back!

I am sure you will feel better tomorrow. The first days are always worse for me because of the shame. Good idea about the AA meeting.

hang in there it gets better!!

KPForever

To be honest, I haven't done much.

I cleaned. Did laundry. Hiding from the world.
I reflected on future goals. What kind of person I want to be. How I am when I'm drunk. I think i'm recharging.

It's 5pm. I'm going to have dinner. Watch TV. When the clock hits 9pm. I want to jump into bed and sleep so today will be over.

Then tomorrow I'm going to face the world. Going to an AA meeting is on the schedule. I'm going to make a plan that works...
I believe I need to rediscover the things and hobbies and interests that brought me joy. I want to learn to do something creative...maybe sewing or knitting....

Dee74

Hobbies and interests and keeping busy can be an important part of a plan - but the real meat of a recovery plan is 'how exactly am I going to stay sober'.

Its quite a hard question, so many of us try to avoid it and try and wing it, and winging something you're not prepared for can have predictable results.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

There are some really good ideas here tho ^

D

least

My recovery plan consisted of daily visits to SR and weekly counseling sessions. I no longer see the counselor but still come here every day to give back to others what was given to me when I was desperate.

I had too many day ones too. But when I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, then I could stay sober.

KPForever

That is a hard question: How exactly am I going to stay sober?

My excuse to finding this question hard is that life is different every day and there's going to be hundreds of opportunities to get a drink.
Looking back at my many attempts to get sober, one of the things missing was a consistent support system that I used. Maybe it's AA...I don't know...but I'll start with trying that out.

I can't do this alone.

erin8

Just don't give up. I think AA is a wonderful idea. I could never get past a few days until I started going. Come to think of it, this is the second longest I've been sober. like ever. and I haven't had but just a few bad cravings this go around.