Jaeger

Let's talk about self care. This is something I am not very good at.

For over two years now, I have killed myself at work. I'm talking about long, crazy, brutal hours. It was easy to tell myself that I needed to do this. For so many years one of the biggest reasons I lived in active alcoholism was financial fear. After a promotion and a large raise, I no longer have to worry about that. I can easily stand on my own.

So now, I'm sick. I can't remember ever feeling so bad. I haven't been able to work in over a week and it's unlikely I can go back to a full schedule for at least another week or two. I guess this is my Higher Power making me slow down. It's hard though.

Bekindalways

Argh . . . my higher power has a way of whacking me with a 2 by 4 to get my attention. It is not fun but it does work . . . sigh.

If you are of the female persuasion, come join us in the Women's Forum . We have an ongoing thread about self-care. I don't know if the other half of the species has such a thread but you might try to start one.

Self-care is just the heart of being healthy. For me it has taken a lot of humility to realize this.

FireSprite

This is my favorite recovery sub-topic - I'm NOT shy about prioritizing my self care. Not any longer at least.

My self-care looks a lot different now than it did in my earliest days of trying though - I was much like you describe, where my physical health had started to erode due to the stress & neglect. At that point I had to focus on restoring health first - starting with a checkup with my docs & all getting all necessary bloodwork/testing caught up & my meds adjusted. (thyroid) I also consulted with an acupuncturist every 90 days for 2 years as part of my treatment because it really helped me, along with regular massage therapy, yoga & eventually, reiki.

I had to bring my focus back to the basics - eating well, sleeping regularly & restfully, drinking water, getting my vitamins & minerals in addition to my meds, lol. I started trying meditation but it took a while for me to get to a point where it "fit" - I needed to get these other building blocks in place first.

Now my self care still includes all of those things but having moved out of the "Critical" category for most of it there's time & energy for things like nights out with friends, pedicures, facials, reflexology foot massages, acupuncture for maintenance of health vs. "fixing", lots of yoga & walking, I've become a real Meditator, I take classes or attend seminars when they strike me, I'm looking into joining a local gym, etc. Even just doing a lot of DIY stuff (I rarely PAY for a pedicure, lol) matters because you are setting time aside for YOU. You are making time to develop a relationship with your Self & over time, it matters a lot.

There have been so many amazing self-care threads, I'm going to do what I do best & link you up instead of trying to remember every point



http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-weekend.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-thinking.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...are-thing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rsus-love.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...u-weekend.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...a-therapy.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...uper-long.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ou-lately.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lf-esteem.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...you-today.html

mylifeismine

Jaeger,
When was the last time you had FUN?

Seems like you have taken care of yourself financially and
now maybe its time to plan a big fat fun event in your life.

Something with the main goal of relaxing and enjoying something
you've been wanting to do. Start thinking about what that would
be and there is no "perfect" thing, just the thing you want to have
to look forward to.

Other thing is, alot of people under estimate the healing power
of laughter. It is my favorite medicine

Whatever amuses you, like I used to think America's funniest
home videos was "silly" but now, I can count on it for a few good
belly laughs, especially the pet videos. Turns out mans best
friend can help us heal in many ways. After watching, I sit
there and "feel" what i feel like. It's amazing. Find something
that tickle's your funny bone & do it everyday, even after you
recover.

Take care my friend

Jaeger

Thanks everyone!

Bekindalways, I am of the female persuasion and will check that thread out. Thanks!

FireSprite, I always read your "self-care" post with envy! I think it's time for me to start making some time for that.

mylifeismine, It's been awhile for sure! I guess my go to for a good belly laugh is Steve Harvey. I love that man!

Luckily for now, my employer is understanding. I don't really see how they have a choice though. I haven't used vacation in 2 years and have 2 months banked. I don't think I'll ever catch up but truthfully, I haven't been in a couple of years. It's impossible thus the situation I find myself in now.

Ap052183

This is actually something I've gotten good at. Workaholism was/is my downfall as well. I put limits on working. For instance I'll allow myself a rough month but then I take a break. I take myself out to lunch a lot. And I try to fit regular runs in. One of the most important aspects of self care for me was distance from my emotionally unhealthy family. I realized I got anxiety around them so I stopped seeing them unless needed. It feels good.

FireSprite

DD & I roar with laughter watching Steve Harvey with all those little kids on "Little Big Shots" this season.

Antoher thing I really had to LEARN was that there is actual value in Doing Nothing too. And that enjoying Silence is about as basic as a creature comfort can get sometimes. Don't forget to make time for shameless bingeing on junk-TV or a trashy novel. (I may or may not have a Real Housewives Addiction, lol!)

hopeful4

FS...I watch Real Housewives as well! It's like a train wreck I cannot take my eyes off of! (Scampering off in shame of watching such low quality television)! LOL!

FireSprite

Oh - don't, please. I could probably recite lines from multiple seasons of almost any given franchise. They are such a guilty pleasure for me & I'm not really ashamed to say that it makes me feel better about myself sometimes. I mean - we are ALL broken to some degree, you know? Money & privilege quite obviously don't guarantee class or grace BUT the bigger eye opener for me, believe it or not, is that it has become an amazing window to witness true dysfunction playing out in other families in a way that helped me see/label/identify things in my own journey.

Like Vickie from OC - she is an exemplary example for Codependency being as ingrained & difficult to manage as addiction & how ugly unrecovered Codies' behavior can be, IMO.

Jaeger

I did binge on the show Love last week (while laid up for over a week) after reading about it here. I enjoyed it. I then went for a funny show and finished both seasons of The Ranch. I haven't really watched any Real Housewives. I'll check it out!

I returned to work yesterday but am only working half days. I can feel the pressure building but I absolutely cannot handle a relapse. I've got to just shut it down.

Jaeger

The YouTube videos of funny moments on his talk show and also on Family Fued really get me. I always enjoy them! Some may not be appropriate for your DD but I definitely recommend them for you. 😂

FireSprite

Recognizing the potential to relapse & the need to slow down is, in itself, a BIG baby step. Don't forget to acknowledge *little* victories like that too.

mylifeismine

Here's a great piece about some of the immune boosting and
health giving properties of laughter - amazing

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/e...t-medicine.htm

Take care of yourself, give yourself a chance to heal .....

and a funny dog video
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x_avzO2d0Zk