Stewy84

I'm drinking again tonight, after the initial "hype" about me stopping on my birthday, I'm sorry

My (ex) girlfriend called me yesterday, saying she's upset because people are posting pictures from my previous birthdays showing all the apparent good times I've had and how none of it involved her

I provided reassurance that this was not the case

Anyway the main thing is I'm drinking again, self pity, misery and the feeling I'm locked down to a life of misery like this. I do t want to waste anyone's time. I do genuinely need to stop this hell, I'm making a meal of this situation now

tomsteve

again,do you want to stop drinking?

least

What's it going to take before you finally get sober? Are you waiting for some cataclysmic event to get your attention? While you are drinking, things can only get worse.

biminiblue

I'm curious what you hope to gain when you post that you're drinking again?

We don't have the answer you are looking for, it's within you. If we had the answer, you would have quit a long time ago.

It's up to you. Drink or don't, not a lot we can say at this point. It's all been said. When you make the decision to stop your misery, you'll stop. It's just that.

SteveAlex

It would be best to post here before drinking Stewy. Were all rooting for you!

2muchpain

Stewy, there will always be reasons to drink. That will never end. The bottom line is you drink cause you want to drink. Your drinking has nothing to do with your girlfriend or anything else. There just reasons to keep doing what your doing. You've mentioned nothing about going to meetings or getting a therapist other than a phone call. You said you can get involved in a CBT program but you haven't said you will do this. Look Stewy; a person can be offered the sun and the moon, but if they want to continue to drink, none of that will make any difference. John

Anna

Stewy, we are all here for you. But, YOU are the one who has to make the decision and to make this work.

Your best bet for improving your life is to stop drinking.

Your best bet for spiralling down quickly is to continue drinking.

Stewy, we care. Please care for yourself.

Dee74

Some great advice here Stewy - don't waste another day - go reclaim your life man.

It starts when you want it to.

D

Mizzuno

You do have other choices.

wildflower70

Are you OK? I am quitting now...would you like to join me on this sober train?

This drunk life is BS...let's get the h+ll out of this mess...together we are strong!!

Hevyn

Stewy, please stop torturing yourself.

Stewy84

Just woke up, familiar fuzzy head.

I want to get sober, I feel lost though

How do I start when it seems so difficult?

Soberwolf

As Nike says 'Just Do It' sounds simple enough but when anyone is caught up in it it's anything but, this is why stopping is so important it's got to be you who wants this forget everything going on right now & focus on step 1 remaining sober

Coming here everyday without fail show your addiction your here & your not giving it to the irrationality of it all

Meetings whether AA or Smart brother you will learn something new guaranteed you can just listen which is what I did

NO SELF PITY - Give yourself 0% Tolerance on this it will mess up your head and is super destructive instead keep showing up and start to praise what you are doing right like showing up today being a great dad a good son a decent human being that's the real you Stewy don't try to hide it embrace it

Know you are not & never will be alone you have my full support no matter what your a tough cookie Stewy you have got over big hurdles before i know you can get through this

Do whatever it takes

No more drinking no matter what just don't if your hurting then hurt sober if you cry then cry sober if you love them love sober let it be not contaminated by poison brother things will work out

With you all the way

SoberTyger

Only by being sober you will have the strenght to improve your life, and to work on the problems that might trigger relapse. Drinking solves nothing, just makes everything worse

Dee74

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step Stewy - and no backtracking.

If you're complicating the process - simplify it.

all you need to do today is not pour booze down your neck.

It may be hard to do - you may feel, sad, or angry or full of self pity...
you may feel despair and wonder what the point is of getting sober..

all that is AV static.

Your addiction is anti progress & anti change....but the way through lies up ahead, not the way you've been.

I hope you're really ready to take that first step and not double back Stewy - there's nothing worse than wasting years like this - you deserve better, your daughter deserves better and your folks deserve better too.

D

Berrybean

Okay. Sobriety is about not drinking. But Recovery is about finding and learning how to use different and healthier strategies to live life as it comes up. And life WILL deliver us blows. Not just your life Stewy. Everyone's lives, because that's just the nature of things. Bad things happen to sober people, just as they do to people in active alcoholism. The diffrence is that if you're in recovery and have learnt how to deal with life on life's terms, you will be able to cope with things better.

When I was drinking (and when I was sober with no recovery work as well) I was very reactive. If something happened that caused me to feel emotions (especially negative ones, but often even positive celebratory ones) I was just like a puppet to those feelings. As I've grown up a bit through my recovery work I've been able to be more contemplative and exercise some wisdom - making the choices that will be most likely to result in long term peace, rather than grabbing for instant relief or gratification. When I first went to AA it seemed like no one was talking about alcohol that much - and they weren't really. They were too busy talking about the solution instead of the problem.

I think that we get better by thinking about the solution (different ways of dealing with things) instead of drowning ourselves in self pity about the problem. Self pity is like poison for the soul, second only to resentment.

Time to make a plan? If it starts getting tricky you could share what you've done so far on here and ask people for suggestions. We're rooting for you, but you do need to start getting recovery focussed if you want to achieve long term and healthy sobriety, and none of us can do that for you, no matter how much we might wish we could. You have be willing to make your plan. And you need to be willing to stick to it, and actually do it. Even if you don't really feel like it (tbh, especially when you dont feel like it!) http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

BB

tomsteve

that depends.
are you willing to do whatever is necessary? are you willing to go to any lengths? are you willing to do the action necessary?

August252015

YEP.

Ex girlfriend
Pictures
Social media
Birthdays

The list could go on - it is all noise that keeps your focus and you keep on drinking.

It's truthful, not unkind, to tell you that we cannot help you- nor can anyone else or any other group etc- if you don't want to and choose to stop drinking.

ahealthylife

It sounds like the train won't stop and you can't get off though you want to. Have you had a chat with your Dr? That's what I did when I felt like that and it helped. I truly wanted it though and was prepared to do the work if I had some sort of help - I.e medication and counselling in my case.
Good luck, it's not a fun place to be trapped in that vicious cycle.... the highs just aren't worth the horrid lows.... and the toll on your body (mentally and physically).

ScottFromWI

You get help. And you accept that pretty much anything in life worth having is going to be difficult.

You've had loads and loads of advice on where to start and how to start. YOU just have to start.