Sobriety is like balancing on a thin ledge. I keep falling off.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Scarborough
Posts: 3
Sobriety is like balancing on a thin ledge. I keep falling off.
Hi all I just joined after reading some of the threads on here and being able to relate to many myself. Also you all seem like a nice bunch of people.
I am really struggling to stay sober (shocker I know). I have been drinking heavily on and off for around 15 years (I am 31) and somehow managed sobriety for 6 months last year. I lost my wife, business and home through my alcoholism and found myself staying on a couch with family which invoked the real desire to be sober. That seems to be the key, real motivation to not want to drink and is how I managed my 6 months I think. Unfortunately for me the motivation did not last and I am back to drinking. I have managed to get my life somewhat back on track now and have a fairly decent full time job and a place to live. I am concerned I am going to lose it all again as I am drinking every day before work and had 16 cans today which has left me feeling pretty rough now. My job is a night porter in a small hotel so I hardly ever see anybody which is how I have managed to keep things secret so far, but I know this won't last.
I guess my question is how do you get back the motivation to want to not drink? I fear the only way that will happen for me is if I hit rock bottom again. Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post.
I am really struggling to stay sober (shocker I know). I have been drinking heavily on and off for around 15 years (I am 31) and somehow managed sobriety for 6 months last year. I lost my wife, business and home through my alcoholism and found myself staying on a couch with family which invoked the real desire to be sober. That seems to be the key, real motivation to not want to drink and is how I managed my 6 months I think. Unfortunately for me the motivation did not last and I am back to drinking. I have managed to get my life somewhat back on track now and have a fairly decent full time job and a place to live. I am concerned I am going to lose it all again as I am drinking every day before work and had 16 cans today which has left me feeling pretty rough now. My job is a night porter in a small hotel so I hardly ever see anybody which is how I have managed to keep things secret so far, but I know this won't last.
I guess my question is how do you get back the motivation to want to not drink? I fear the only way that will happen for me is if I hit rock bottom again. Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post.
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Hi ChewyChops and welcome to SR. Lots of great support here.
This is my first try at sobriety but my daily motivation comes from how much better each day is sober. The awful feelings of shame, guilt and self-loathing that I had when I drank have left me.
My earlier days were tough, I felt really lost and unsure and giving up drinking left a hole in my life. I have managed to fill that hole now - with family, friends and living a life that gives happiness to me and others.
I have not done it on my own, I am a member of AA and read here often. Without either I'm sure I would still be drinking.
What did sober life feel like for those 6 mths? Perhaps that can be your motivation? You can do it again and it will be worth it.
Stick around here and post often.
I wish you hope and blessings
This is my first try at sobriety but my daily motivation comes from how much better each day is sober. The awful feelings of shame, guilt and self-loathing that I had when I drank have left me.
My earlier days were tough, I felt really lost and unsure and giving up drinking left a hole in my life. I have managed to fill that hole now - with family, friends and living a life that gives happiness to me and others.
I have not done it on my own, I am a member of AA and read here often. Without either I'm sure I would still be drinking.
What did sober life feel like for those 6 mths? Perhaps that can be your motivation? You can do it again and it will be worth it.
Stick around here and post often.
I wish you hope and blessings
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I realized I stood to lose everything and possibly go to jail for a dui if I kept up. My motivation has been to finally live life! Drinking has not helped me at all and I wanted to try it a new way. 6 months is really good. I understand it can be hard to get back on the sobriety bus but I know you can! I had to have a really embarrassing black out for me to walk away. That was almost 300 days ago.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by ChewyChops 
... how do you get back the motivation to want to not drink? I fear the only way that will happen for me is if I hit rock bottom again.
Do you want to get sober? Then commit to it. Commit to do whatever it takes to get and remain sober. Once sober, maybe then you will find the motivation to stay that way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
You joined this forum and posted so you must be coherent enough to know that you are or will lose everything to booze. How do you do it? Joining here is a good start. People smarter than me will be long to help. How much more are you prepared to lose? Hopefully nothing. Alcoholism is a cruel and slow death. Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
The motivation was only there for me when life became unmanageable due to my drinking. As long as I had some kind of control, I kept drinking. It was only a matter of time before I was falling apart though. Alcohol is a very tricky tricky substance.
I know its hard but you don't have to continually repeat the lesson until it is learned the hard way. Meaning, you know its going to lead to disaster, like before. So, why not get off the ride? If you stop now, life will continue on in the same direction of accomplishment.
I know its hard but you don't have to continually repeat the lesson until it is learned the hard way. Meaning, you know its going to lead to disaster, like before. So, why not get off the ride? If you stop now, life will continue on in the same direction of accomplishment.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 374
I'm only 10 days sober, so I'm not in he position to give advice; however, my motivation is my health (started having stomach pains which I was concerned were from the beginning of a stomach ulcer) and my children and family. I would like to think I can set and good example and be a good role model for my children. How could I do that when I was tanked all the time?
Ultimately I felt that I couldn't give 100% to ANY area of my life when I was drinking so heavily, work suffered, my family suffered and my health was beginning to suffer. I'd tried moderation a number of times and every time I would slip back into old habits. So now I'm giving sobriety a go. I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I think if you managed 6 months sober in the past you'll find your motivation again. All the best to you.
Ultimately I felt that I couldn't give 100% to ANY area of my life when I was drinking so heavily, work suffered, my family suffered and my health was beginning to suffer. I'd tried moderation a number of times and every time I would slip back into old habits. So now I'm giving sobriety a go. I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I think if you managed 6 months sober in the past you'll find your motivation again. All the best to you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
You don't have to wait for 'rock bottom'. You can stop digging now and save yourself a world of hurt.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
And if you want inspiration, read our Stories of Recovery forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
And if you want inspiration, read our Stories of Recovery forum. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
It is a hard thing. I had to FEEL the pain of loss. In a very, very bad way. I hope you seek help, support. Meetings, here, therapist, doc. Perhaps talk to your work people if need support from them. To thine self be true.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hey CC,
I nearly died from my drinking, but even that fear wanes after a while...
luckily by then I'd gotten into the habit of posting here, as many times as I needed, to stay sober.
I decided I didn't want to go back to the way life had been..I'd decided that before - but this time I really worked at it....and this tiem the people here helped convince me that change was possible and that life after becoming sober could be great
With the commitment I made and the help here I found that ledge you're talking about was a lot wider than I thought it was
Good to have you with us
D
I nearly died from my drinking, but even that fear wanes after a while...
luckily by then I'd gotten into the habit of posting here, as many times as I needed, to stay sober.
I decided I didn't want to go back to the way life had been..I'd decided that before - but this time I really worked at it....and this tiem the people here helped convince me that change was possible and that life after becoming sober could be great
With the commitment I made and the help here I found that ledge you're talking about was a lot wider than I thought it was
Good to have you with us
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Scarborough
Posts: 3
Thank you all for the replies and sharing your experiences. I am sure you will agree that alcoholism can feel like a very lonely path at times as people generally dont understand unless they have experienced it for themselves. I think this forum will be immensely helpful.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
For me personally I had trouble staying motivated because deep down I didn't really want to quit. I had to get to the point where I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired of being drunk.
And it finally clicked in that I needed a plan. To quit drinking really is the easy part, to stay sober day in a day out and to find different ways of coping is harder because you have to rewire your thinking.
And it finally clicked in that I needed a plan. To quit drinking really is the easy part, to stay sober day in a day out and to find different ways of coping is harder because you have to rewire your thinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Such a hard addiction to understand so I quit trying! I was sober for a few years...then decided I can have one...maybe two drinks. If I was sober as long as I was then I must not have a problem. That turned into an alcoholic fiasco from hell that lasted more than a few years. I figured out that alcohol no longer worked for me. I started getting blackouts and got really scared. It took more and more but I wasn't feeling the warming effects that starts us all drinking. They were gone. My motivation is that...plus click around and read every ones story. You may not get a chance to be motivated again due to some catastrophic alcohol fueled disaster. Hang in there with us. You can do this. Glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Thoughts that motivate me for sobriety this time around:
You are meant to reach your highest potential
You are good enough to have a stable, calm life
You love yourself enough to stay away from things that harm you
Freedom exists without Alcohol
You are important to others and to yourself
You have talents to share with the world
Your money is meant to take care of you not harm you
Greeting the day with a clear head and rested body is worth not drinking for a few hours a night
You know what is meant for you and what is not meant for you
These statements keep my head level and empower me to continue forward.
You are meant to reach your highest potential
You are good enough to have a stable, calm life
You love yourself enough to stay away from things that harm you
Freedom exists without Alcohol
You are important to others and to yourself
You have talents to share with the world
Your money is meant to take care of you not harm you
Greeting the day with a clear head and rested body is worth not drinking for a few hours a night
You know what is meant for you and what is not meant for you
These statements keep my head level and empower me to continue forward.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
My motivation came from waking up one morning and feeling a total loss of hope. What was I doing with my life? Wasting it! I'd tried to find sobriety many times before, but I never had a plan and I didn't understand this sh***** disease. A good therapist and SR is helping me find my way this time and I'm finally beginning to see the light. Hope has returned and I'm more committed than ever to stay on this journey to a new life.
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