KittenMittens

Sorry I ghosted there for a few days. I had to get a new phone and things have been crazy.

Long story very short, I'm back at the beginning.

A few days ago I met with my sponsor, and went to a few meetings. Then I found out they're cutting hours drastically for everyone at my current job. Then I found out the last part of the hiring process for my new job got rescheduled, pushing my start date out even farther. Then I got paid and realized I'm going to be even shorter on money than I thought. And I lost it.

I could make excuses all day, but we all know that excuses mean nothing. Instead of going to a meeting or calling my sponsor I called a friend who had the number of one of my dealers whose number I had deleted, and I got high.

I am totally ashamed. I'm right back where I started feeling hopeless and depressed. I know what I have to do but I'm so defeated I can't do anything but sit here and cry. Feeling sorry for myself is really gonna do a world of good, right? Ugh.

Pianoman61

Kittenmittens, Don't beat yourself up, shame does not help at all does it. Just pick yourself up and learn from it.

Welcome and I hope to see you on SR

time2shineagain

Oh KM, I've read your first couple of posts and I'm sorry to hear things have been tough for you. I'm way too early on in my sobriety to give any advice, I think you know what you need to do anyway...

Just wanted to say that we're here for you. Stay strong. Take care.

KittenMittens

Thank you guys.

Linz805

I've kind of been in a place where I have almost lost it lately. You posting helps me to see what would happen if I do. I know what you are feeling. Reaching out for help has saved me just the last couple of days and I know what I need to do... reach out to others who are hurting. Good vibes to you and doing the next RIGHT thing