ExhaustedPigeon

I'm trying not to have a meltdown. Husband got called into work, kids are making a mess and not listening and just generally driving me batty, I have anxiety and I'm irritable. And this is only day 1. This is when a drink would calm me down but now I feel like I have nothing to calm me down.

Anna

I'm glad you came here and posted. Can you pull out a board game or watch a favourite movie, to hopefully calm things down. It really will get better.

madgirl

Do you have some ice cream on hand? Or grapes? A bit of sugar will take the edge off - and breathe!!
Breathe deliberately - through the nose, hold it for five to ten seconds then exhale.
Can you do a few light stretches?

Pianoman61

Hey Pigeon,

Stay strong, the kids will be heading to bed eventually and messes are a part of parenting, been there.

Right now is the hardest time, this is because routinely you have been turning to a bottle to solve stress. When your body gets used to not using alcohol as a retreat it will get easier.

STAY STRONG and good vibes coming your way !!!

Pianoman

madgirl

Keeping HALT in my mind is a big part of my own recovery - when cravings hit, ask yourself am I hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?

Deep breathing can trick your brain into a state of calm - helps irritability. Lonely? Post here or call someone.

SteveAlex

Go for a walk? Get some fresh air... do anything but drink. You will regret it.

Pianoman61

Just wanted to double what Anna said. You really did the right thing coming to SR for support.

I was about to head off to make dinner and for some reason I decided to check the forum. Glad I did !!

tomsteve

what your experiencing is quite common. I was amazed to learn how much of life I had no clue how to handle- I had no coping skills. I hadda lot of learning to do. one of the 1st lessons I got down pat real quick- there aint nothing a drink will make better.
I have a 3 year old in this house and some days I swear hes thinking,"hhhhhmmm, what can I do today to drive uncle tom one step away from a nuthouse?"
and some days he gets an A+

stay strong and don't let the thought of drinking control your actions. you WILL get weller in T.I.M.E.

youre right, at this time you have nothing to calm you down. but you can learn!
theres a pretty good breathing technique I still use occasionally even today.
4-7-8 technique.
1) Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound. 2) Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four. 3) Hold your breath for a count of seven. 4) Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight
repeat

doggonecarl

Your addiction knows exactly what buttons to push, what to make you "feel" so that you'll drink.

That doesn't go away by giving in to the obsession. It goes away by staying sober and learning that if this was a situation you could handle after a drink, it is a situation you can handle without one.

PhoenixJ

JUST POST- lots.

ExhaustedPigeon

I was ALL of that. So overwhelmed. The kids are finally in bed and I'm sitting in bed eating sunflower seeds (using this as a distraction because normally I'd be sitting here drinking a beer) I will make it through day 1 now.

Thank you for your words.

SeaOfSerenity

that's the hardest day. withdrawals are real

in time the strength and confidence you get from making it through these extremely stressful situations in early sobriety calm you.

you get to a point where when you feel stressed you say 'well its nowhere near as bad as Day 1, wow remember that! that was hell. I made it through that I can make it through this.'

right now you don't have that but you can do this and you will get stronger

ExhaustedPigeon

Thank you everyone. Your words mean SO soooo much.

ExhaustedPigeon

P.S. ...have any of y'all noticed- when you DECLARE you're going to quit, as soon as you do it, everything seems to go haywire? This happens EVERY time I have tried. I know our emotions are already on high since we can't have our fix but this seems to be more than that. Kind of like the devil just doing everything possible to pull you in. Ugh. *deep breath*

thomas11

Everyone's timetable is different but I think most would agree with me that the early days are really hard. The "go-to" relief in a bottle is gone, and that's where our brains want to go. It is certainly a struggle.

I think most will also agree with me that it definitely gets easier with time. But we never get there by caving in to our desires.

madgirl

Yes - it can seem like life is chucking everything at you, including the kitchen sink, when you start on a new path.

Do what you gotta do to stay sober hour to hour. It is not going to feel good but you get stronger and more confident as time passes.

You got this!!!

tomsteve

everything was already haywire before I made the decision to quit.
deciding to quite got me out of denial- it took my blinders off and I was seeing what was going on around me.

ExhaustedPigeon

Good point.

ExhaustedPigeon

Thank you!!!