WeaverBird

So 2pm is buy vodka time, I'm craving but its manageable.
So trying to work out how to clean this tip cos the landlord comes tomorrow. Go into the closet looking for some kind of brush, and a vodka bottle is sitting there, not quite empty.
All those thoughts are back, no-one would know, its only a couple of inches, I got away with it two days ago, etc. There are probably a bunch of others around. Better not look under the bed...
Massive mood swing. Palpitations. Cant breathe. Feel sick and frozen.

ExhaustedPigeon

Pour it down the drain! Just do it!

biminiblue

Yeah, pour it out.

You don't drink any more.

madgirl

That sounds like hell.
Dump the lying poison down the drain, and take your life back.

ScottFromWI

Coming here to post these thoughts first is a very smart thing to do. Think about them for a minute:

"no one would know" - you would...and you'd feel awful about it.

"it's only a couple of inches" - in this bottle yeah, but there's a lot more inches in the bottle you'd go buy after drinking the remains of this one, because you know those 2 inches wouldn't be enough

"I got away with it 2 days ago" - got away with what - drinking? Again, just because others don't know you did it...you still did it.

Lots of classic addictive thinking going on here....don't listen to it. Dump the bottle and any others you find.

Mizzuno

Give yourself the GIFT of time to get through it. It doesnt take long for the "want" to leave. Throw out the Vodka and carry on with your task. Your heart, mind and spirit will THANK YOU!

Anna

I'm glad you came here and posted, and I hope you threw out the vodka.

SteveAlex

I hope you poured it. You dont need it.

Nonsensical

Now it's FREEDOM time.

thomas11

Tough it out...let the time pass by and you will feel better. I found a half full bottle of rum under the seat of one of my trucks after about 3 weeks sober. I walked it straight over to the garbage can.

SoberLeigh

Pour out the vodka, please, Weev.

It has NOTHING of value to offer you.

The really good stuff awaits you.

Hang in.

MsCooterBrown

Really? No such think as two inches. Once that is downed you will need more. Toss it. We don't need no two inches!!

WeaverBird

I love you guys
What i did was call this old lady i met at a meeting. She was so nice (and this is embarrassing) i thought i could put my head on your shoulder and go to sleep (i didn't do it smiley).
What she said was what you guys said only when you say it Igo oh yeah, thats right. I know what I'm sposed to do but in my head it gets mixed up. Weird.

I poured it away. The bottle in the bin is in my head but i might go to the dump and then its gone. Missing it already.

She even helped me with getting started on the cleaning and said call her after each room. Noone's ever been so nice to me. Emotional. Gonna call her now cos i did my bedroom. Only kitchen to go. More sweat than in workout this morning. (note: hard exercise really really helps cravings).
My place only looked this good when i moved in. Its small and ugly but its my place.

Nonsensical

Love
Love
LOVE
This post.

biminiblue

Excellent! Well done. Don't forget to eat and drink lots of water to fuel that exercise.

Feel free to call your friend for confirmation!! I always work better and have fewer cravings with a full tummy.

SoberLeigh

Proud of you, Weev!!!

WeaverBird

I have a question. What does sobering up feel like? Seriously, cos I feel like reality just shifted. I think I might feel calm. Course, it might be the fumes from all those cleaning products.

WeaverBird

Also, Im thinking about people who hit early withdrawal with me and would like to say I read dozens of your posts for hours to get me through. Im glad you're there too. Have a good night. Weev

CreativeThinker

Hey Weez- Congrats on throwing out the Vodka! Good going!

I've only been sober a couple months but I have to tell you, I feel awesome! Even though I have a lot going on in my life right now, I feel strong enough to move through it.

Calm is definitely how I would describe the way I've been feeling this week. As many have mentioned here on SR, there's ups and downs during the beginning stages of recovery. That's how I feel. Some days I struggle, but most days I feel positive and so happy that I am sober.

You mentioned how working out is helping you with the cravings. I totally agree! If I don't workout, I see a significant difference in my entire attitude.

Again, so glad that you did the right thing and reached out to others before taking that drink. Great work!

SoberLeigh

Sobering up was, for me, a process.

There was the physical side of sobering up - working through the early days, working through the lethargy and the 'foggy-brain, working through an inability to focus, etc.

There was the spiritual side of sobering up - working through the disappointment that I had failed to use healthy coping tools and had, instead looked to 'check out' instead of dealing with the reality of my challenges in a healthy fashion.

There was the 'practical' and 'social' side - learning to readjust to family life, relationships that had become stagnated through alcoholism, issues I had failed to notice due to self-absorption or the same act of ignoring them. We miss LIFE when we succumb to alcoholism; it went on and I hadn't.

All of this took work but it was productive and rejuvenating work.

I think that you will find, Weev, is that you come back to life - real life and, while that process may be a bit rocky, it is very much worth the effort.

I wish that I had never succumbed to alcoholism but I wouldn't trade recovery for anything; I have found wings.