Need some help.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Murray KY
Posts: 19
Need some help.....
Having a really hard time again. I can recognize my problems and admit to them but I have a very hard time with the following through. I use my fear and stress of trying to just have a life justify my drinking. Up until about a month ago I would never have admitted to having a problem with drinking but I realize that I have a huge problem and that's my escape from my problems. I have so many things to be thankful for yet I let my fear of losing them keep me from commiting myself to them. Last night I let my fears take me back to the places that I fought for 2 and a half years to get away from and was scared to death until I walked in my back door last and felt like I was safe. I don't want to live like this, I have way to much going for me and the people I love to do that but it's a constant fight for me. I think I honestly qualify for every type of support group that they have and it blows my mind thinking about trying to overcome and get away from my past but I know that I have to. Anybody have any advice for me... could sure use some right now.
Thanks,
Alli
Thanks,
Alli
one of many
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ellisville, FL
Posts: 200
never give up
Alli,
You are not alone. I drown myself in my fears and sorrows everyday and sometimes I feel like death would be a release from this cursed exsistence. I refuse to give in though, I've given up hope so many times and ended up in the same place, the pit of despair. It's the disease pounding at me everyday, telling me I'm not strong enough, it tells me that I'm not built to last, it tells me everything it can, but I must resist. As individuals this disease will pick us off one by one, it will destroy us anyway it can, but as a group we are strong, and we can defeat it. We are stronger when we are bonded together and share our common experiences. There is nothing that can stop us from recovery. Grab my arm and lift yourself up, lets not give up hope.
You are not alone. I drown myself in my fears and sorrows everyday and sometimes I feel like death would be a release from this cursed exsistence. I refuse to give in though, I've given up hope so many times and ended up in the same place, the pit of despair. It's the disease pounding at me everyday, telling me I'm not strong enough, it tells me that I'm not built to last, it tells me everything it can, but I must resist. As individuals this disease will pick us off one by one, it will destroy us anyway it can, but as a group we are strong, and we can defeat it. We are stronger when we are bonded together and share our common experiences. There is nothing that can stop us from recovery. Grab my arm and lift yourself up, lets not give up hope.
JUST FOR TODAY
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 104
Welcome to SoberRecovery Alli, good to see you here. This is a place that you can get help from a lot of people willing to help.
I can certainly relate to this. "If you had my problems, you would drink too." That was one of my favorites. What has helped me a lot is going to AA meetings. Listening to others share their own experience , strength and hope, and identifying and not comparing. "Well I didn't do that" or "I wasn't that bad." Those two always gave me just another excuse to go out and drink. But it is through the 12 Steps of Recovery that I found out who Harry was and what he was all about. It was through the 12 Steps that I learned to stop the blame game and found out that I was the one that was causing my own problems. It is through the 12 Steps that I learned about alcoholism.
Ya, I was always in fear of losing what I had and was also afraid that I wasn't going to get what I thought I deserved.
What I have in my life today is priceless. Today I try to work on what I need in my heart and my soul. Today I know that it isn't how I look and feel on the outside that makes me a better person, but how I feel on the inside.
My only suggestion is, go to meetings, ask for help and find a Higher Power. Finding a Higher Power and getting a sponsor, and people in a fellowship that I can relate to. And these people care about me and want nothing but the best for me and don't look for anything in return. Ya, these are some of the things that I have in my life today that make a big difference in who the person that I am today.
One thing I know for sure, none of this would have ever been possible without a Higher Power in my life and my willingness to go to any length.
They told me, "If you want what we have, then you have to do what we do." I want what they have, so I listen with an open-mind and I take the suggestions offered, with hope that, maybe this can work for me to.
I will keep you in my thoughts and in my prayers. There is a way out. You don't have to drink again and there is a life without alcohol.
God Bless
Harry
I use my fear and stress of trying to just have a life justify my drinking.
I have so many things to be thankful for yet I let my fear of losing them keep me from commiting myself to them.
What I have in my life today is priceless. Today I try to work on what I need in my heart and my soul. Today I know that it isn't how I look and feel on the outside that makes me a better person, but how I feel on the inside.
My only suggestion is, go to meetings, ask for help and find a Higher Power. Finding a Higher Power and getting a sponsor, and people in a fellowship that I can relate to. And these people care about me and want nothing but the best for me and don't look for anything in return. Ya, these are some of the things that I have in my life today that make a big difference in who the person that I am today.
One thing I know for sure, none of this would have ever been possible without a Higher Power in my life and my willingness to go to any length.
They told me, "If you want what we have, then you have to do what we do." I want what they have, so I listen with an open-mind and I take the suggestions offered, with hope that, maybe this can work for me to.
I will keep you in my thoughts and in my prayers. There is a way out. You don't have to drink again and there is a life without alcohol.
God Bless
Harry
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Hi Alli,
You really are not alone. I lived in fear for decades - I was so afraid of losing what I had, losing control of my life that I held on tightly to everyone and everything out of fear. Being such a control freak is one of the things that led me to drinking. My resolution this year was to live in love and light and I've been doing that fairly well.
The bottom line is that you have a conscious choice to live in fear or not. I realize that all of the decisions I made in my life, big and small, I made based on fear. Facing your fears will set you free.
Love, Anna
You really are not alone. I lived in fear for decades - I was so afraid of losing what I had, losing control of my life that I held on tightly to everyone and everything out of fear. Being such a control freak is one of the things that led me to drinking. My resolution this year was to live in love and light and I've been doing that fairly well.
The bottom line is that you have a conscious choice to live in fear or not. I realize that all of the decisions I made in my life, big and small, I made based on fear. Facing your fears will set you free.
Love, Anna
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