And now this...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 48
And now this...
On 86 days - been feeling great - then my wife opens the results of her latest smear test and has abnormalities. How the hell do I cope now without getting completely off my head???
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Hi Juk, I'm so sorry to hear that but it is good that it has been detected which means your wife can recieve the best treatment.
Your wife is going to need you to support and comfort her and any drinking or drugging will immediately make you unavailable to her.
Seek help for yourself to get through this tough time, get to a meeting if you attend AA, post here lots, talk to a counsellor.
Juk, you can get through this sober, think of how far you have already come.
Prayers to you and your wife and let us know how things are going.
Scruff xx
Your wife is going to need you to support and comfort her and any drinking or drugging will immediately make you unavailable to her.
Seek help for yourself to get through this tough time, get to a meeting if you attend AA, post here lots, talk to a counsellor.
Juk, you can get through this sober, think of how far you have already come.
Prayers to you and your wife and let us know how things are going.
Scruff xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
I'm really sorry to hear this. Health issues involving our loved ones are very difficult. Just remember that drinking is not going to help your wife and certainly not going to help you. Use the skills that you have learned over the past 86 days and stay sober through this. For you first and for your wife second. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
I am so sorry to hear this. I understand your concern, JUK. These things can throw us for a loop.
Try to keep a clear head for your wife.
Try to remember, too, that the reason these smears are performed is that early detection is very often the way to treatment success.
Many prayers your way, JUK.
Huge congratulations on your sobriety; well done.
Try to keep a clear head for your wife.
Try to remember, too, that the reason these smears are performed is that early detection is very often the way to treatment success.
Many prayers your way, JUK.
Huge congratulations on your sobriety; well done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
well technically if anybody "deserved" a drink it would the one WITH the abnormal smear, right?
think it thru - how would drinking HELP your wife? CHANGE the facts? allow you to offer HER the support SHE deserves?
or is this another chance for alcohol to make it all about you? sneaky bastard that booze..............
think it thru - how would drinking HELP your wife? CHANGE the facts? allow you to offer HER the support SHE deserves?
or is this another chance for alcohol to make it all about you? sneaky bastard that booze..............
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
First off, it could be a variety of things that are harmless. If your wife had HPV, which is very common, there could be some abnormal cells on her cervix for that alone. Thus, so secondly, don't freak out until you have something to freak out about. And third, as others have written, if something is wrong, she needs a sober husband.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by JUK 
Thanks for the replies. Only problem is that it's probably my alcohol-induced promiscuity that has caused this, which makes me pretty much the worst possible kind of scum there is
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I'm sorry for your situation and I can understand how you feel you should blame yourself. But try to take a step back and understand how your wife needs you to be strong right now. Whether or not this test is caused by your promiscuity, the fact is your wife needs your support and I would bet she would love to know that she can trust you to remain sober through this health crisis.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
I think you're leaping ahead to a lot of conclusions there JUK that could very well be very wide of the mark....you don;t know for sure what the problem is yet, much elss how any problem may have been contracted.
I'd stick with what you know - your wife needs your support.
Give her that support.
We're here for you. You be there for your wife.
D
I'd stick with what you know - your wife needs your support.
Give her that support.
We're here for you. You be there for your wife.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Your wife has an illness. There is no shame in that. Don't let any irrational emotion let you think drinking is a solution. As others have stated, you drinking will not help the situation and your wife needs your support more now than ever. Make living amends by staying sober and being the rock for her.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Norway
Posts: 75
The last thing you need in this situation is to fog yourself and your loved ones with yet another complicating factor! Remember that tomorrow is another day, and if you wake up in hangover and regrets- how do you think you'll cope with the issues then? A drink?
Take a deep breath and look at your self in the mirror. Who you see is you, and that person is the one that will meet the challenges ahead. Hopefully the one you see is sober and ready to deal with it!
Best wishes!
Take a deep breath and look at your self in the mirror. Who you see is you, and that person is the one that will meet the challenges ahead. Hopefully the one you see is sober and ready to deal with it!
Best wishes!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by JUK
It's amazing how powerful shame is and how it can never really be escaped or truly forgiven, try as we might.
You're an alcoholic. Don't believe everything you think.
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