The challenge of change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 25
The challenge of change
Day 5 for me and going ok so far, cravings are starting to get stronger as I start to feel better.
Couldn't remember the time of the dentist appointment this morning so needed to phone first thing to confirm, wife said don't worry it won't be first thing because you would have been expecting to be hunger over as you are off work today. (Embarrassed). All appointments will be early am from now on!!!
Anyway the challenge of change topic. Only last weekend whilst drunk I was arranging drinking nights with buddies for next weekend, big boxing night! These weren't confirmed and now won't be. I won't miss the hangover next Sunday but I will miss the event. It will now be a family BBQ with me watching it on my own. There are several other things like this planned that we won't be doing.
Going on holiday in July. My wife (who barely drinks) normally shares a bottle of wine with dinner with me watching the sunset (whilst I drink 6 beers afterwards or another bottle). I will miss these dinners but not the hangovers. On the upside we will be in Orlando doing theme parks so we can be up and on the go early every day which will be good.
Looked at the planned itinerary we had for Orlando. It was based around me getting to drink. Planning days we would Uber instead of using the hire car etc. We are going to save a fortune!!!
It was these thoughts that failed my last attempt 6 months ago. I won't fail this time!!!
Any guidance on the change in life from giving up the dreaded drink???
Off to the gym again tonight instead of drinking. I see that becoming a new habit which I think I need, maybe meet new people>
Couldn't remember the time of the dentist appointment this morning so needed to phone first thing to confirm, wife said don't worry it won't be first thing because you would have been expecting to be hunger over as you are off work today. (Embarrassed). All appointments will be early am from now on!!!
Anyway the challenge of change topic. Only last weekend whilst drunk I was arranging drinking nights with buddies for next weekend, big boxing night! These weren't confirmed and now won't be. I won't miss the hangover next Sunday but I will miss the event. It will now be a family BBQ with me watching it on my own. There are several other things like this planned that we won't be doing.
Going on holiday in July. My wife (who barely drinks) normally shares a bottle of wine with dinner with me watching the sunset (whilst I drink 6 beers afterwards or another bottle). I will miss these dinners but not the hangovers. On the upside we will be in Orlando doing theme parks so we can be up and on the go early every day which will be good.
Looked at the planned itinerary we had for Orlando. It was based around me getting to drink. Planning days we would Uber instead of using the hire car etc. We are going to save a fortune!!!
It was these thoughts that failed my last attempt 6 months ago. I won't fail this time!!!
Any guidance on the change in life from giving up the dreaded drink???
Off to the gym again tonight instead of drinking. I see that becoming a new habit which I think I need, maybe meet new people>
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hey Mark, there are definitely some drinking events I avoid now but more than just changing the places I go, I also try (as much as possible!) to change my whole mental attitude before I go anywhere. So rather than coming from a point of deprivation ("I wish I could drink", "I'm missing out by not drinking" etc etc) I focus on what I'm gaining by not drinking (remembering conversations, not acting like a fool, waking up clear headed etc).
Rather than feeling like you're missing out on a day of drinking with your buddies on saturday, think about what you'll gain from spending time with your family at the BBQ. And plan in your head how it's going to be. When I go out to pubs, I picture myself beforehand, sitting at a table, drinking diet coke and having a good time. Of course if I get there and everyone is getting drunk and I'm not having such a good time, I just leave. The point is, I've pictured myself drinking diet coke, so I drink diet coke. There does seem to be something in this whole positive mental attitude thing. Never thought I'd ever say that but there you go. Change happens. It's inevitable. And if it's happening anyway, we might as well make all those changes work for us, rather than against us. Good luck
Rather than feeling like you're missing out on a day of drinking with your buddies on saturday, think about what you'll gain from spending time with your family at the BBQ. And plan in your head how it's going to be. When I go out to pubs, I picture myself beforehand, sitting at a table, drinking diet coke and having a good time. Of course if I get there and everyone is getting drunk and I'm not having such a good time, I just leave. The point is, I've pictured myself drinking diet coke, so I drink diet coke. There does seem to be something in this whole positive mental attitude thing. Never thought I'd ever say that but there you go. Change happens. It's inevitable. And if it's happening anyway, we might as well make all those changes work for us, rather than against us. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"Any guidance on the change in life from giving up the dreaded drink???'
have no expectations. a drink wont help.
give time time. a drink wont help.
there is nothing a drink will help.
feelings and emotions are going to happen. a drink wont help.
lookin at causes and conditions for drinking- the underlying issues- is a good thing. a drink wont help.
have no expectations. a drink wont help.
give time time. a drink wont help.
there is nothing a drink will help.
feelings and emotions are going to happen. a drink wont help.
lookin at causes and conditions for drinking- the underlying issues- is a good thing. a drink wont help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by kenton 
Hey Mark, there are definitely some drinking events I avoid now but more than just changing the places I go, I also try (as much as possible!) to change my whole mental attitude before I go anywhere. So rather than coming from a point of deprivation ("I wish I could drink", "I'm missing out by not drinking" etc etc) I focus on what I'm gaining by not drinking (remembering conversations, not acting like a fool, waking up clear headed etc).
Rather than feeling like you're missing out on a day of drinking with your buddies on saturday, think about what you'll gain from spending time with your family at the BBQ. And plan in your head how it's going to be. When I go out to pubs, I picture myself beforehand, sitting at a table, drinking diet coke and having a good time. Of course if I get there and everyone is getting drunk and I'm not having such a good time, I just leave. The point is, I've pictured myself drinking diet coke, so I drink diet coke. There does seem to be something in this whole positive mental attitude thing. Never thought I'd ever say that but there you go. Change happens. It's inevitable. And if it's happening anyway, we might as well make all those changes work for us, rather than against us. Good luck
Rather than feeling like you're missing out on a day of drinking with your buddies on saturday, think about what you'll gain from spending time with your family at the BBQ. And plan in your head how it's going to be. When I go out to pubs, I picture myself beforehand, sitting at a table, drinking diet coke and having a good time. Of course if I get there and everyone is getting drunk and I'm not having such a good time, I just leave. The point is, I've pictured myself drinking diet coke, so I drink diet coke. There does seem to be something in this whole positive mental attitude thing. Never thought I'd ever say that but there you go. Change happens. It's inevitable. And if it's happening anyway, we might as well make all those changes work for us, rather than against us. Good luck
I will try the positive thoughts and pre-planning. I think in some instances I will just have to keep away though as some of the nights I have been going on for years have one purpose, and that is for everybody to get hammered, its a culture thing where I work.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
It sounds like you are keeping an open mind and being aware of the necessity of change in your life. That's great. As you see, recovery is about so much more than just stopping drinking. What I noticed in your post was the amount of head-time you gave to planning drinking in your life. I did this, too. It was always on my mind. The biggest and best change in my life, was having my mind free. It was awesome!
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,382
Change has always been difficult for me too, letting old bad habits go and getting into new good habits. Very important process I'm ever mindful of. I'm reading 3 novels a week these days; back when I was drinking every day I'd be lucky to read 3 in a year, no lie.
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