I have to do this for my kids...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 374
I have to do this for my kids...
Today is only day 2 and I'm already craving a drink...have been all afternoon...
Trying to stay strong. My drinking has spiraled out of control and is making me a detached Mum. So unfair on my kids who are only 1 and 4. Not to mention my mental health.
Argh... why is it so hard!!!
Trying to stay strong. My drinking has spiraled out of control and is making me a detached Mum. So unfair on my kids who are only 1 and 4. Not to mention my mental health.
Argh... why is it so hard!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,369
Welcome to you, time2shineagain - you've come to the right place, lots of support here at SR.
You are doing well with 2 days behind you. Can you have a cup of tea or coffee or cocoa and settle down to relax with something for a while?
Best wishes
You are doing well with 2 days behind you. Can you have a cup of tea or coffee or cocoa and settle down to relax with something for a while?
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,626
Good thinking..BUT- you need to get sober, firstly for you. If you sober up for the kids- and not you, it may lead to relapse. If you stay sober for yourself- the kids get their mum. Keep posting and reading. Lots in the threads/sticky's. Like making a plan, cravings, journal writing. Also you could go to AA/SMART meetings, see a counsellor/doc for your health.
Keep posting. Support to you. PJ.
Keep posting. Support to you. PJ.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I stopped drinking when my daughter was 2 years old.
She is 7 years old now and I have not drunk for 5 years.
I found I had to keep myself busy in the evenings. Perhaps in the early evenings you could do something with the kids now its coming up to summer and we have light nights?
It was not forever (keeping busy) as I did get used to not drinking in the evening, but at first it took effort to break the habit of drinking every night.
I work full time so the days were not as much an issue.
I would never go back to drinking now.
I think from your post you are in the UK?
I know for me, the 'wine o'clock' culture we live in makes it seem that it is totally normal to drink every single evening.
Its like wine is the solution to every problem.
Kids misbehaving = drink wine.
House a tip = drink wine.
Raining and kids cannot play outside = drink wine.
But for some of us, me included, wine is the worst option to take.
There is a bigger world out there than drinking prosecco everyday.
I feel very proud of what I have achieved.
I do not have the guilty feeling every morning like I used to over how much did I drink, what did I do, what did I say.
Be aware of HALT too.
It stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
If you let yourself too hungry, angry, lonely, tired it can be a trigger to start craving a drink.
I slept a lot in the beginning. I had early nights and I got into reading again.
I avoided arguments and confrontations which could lead to me drinking out of anger.
Loneliness - I made dates to catch up friends and other mums. I came to be with my family here a lot in the evenings when my daughter was in bed.
I made sure I ate well too.
I often had an energy slump around 3pm to 4pm and I would entertain buying a bottle of wine on the way home. I found a hot chocolate, or a fresh orange juice, a doughnut or milkshake, took the craving away.
If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would stop drinking, I would have laughed at them.
But I did and 90% of how I did it was due to what I learnt here with SR family.
I wish you the best xx
She is 7 years old now and I have not drunk for 5 years.
I found I had to keep myself busy in the evenings. Perhaps in the early evenings you could do something with the kids now its coming up to summer and we have light nights?
It was not forever (keeping busy) as I did get used to not drinking in the evening, but at first it took effort to break the habit of drinking every night.
I work full time so the days were not as much an issue.
I would never go back to drinking now.
I think from your post you are in the UK?
I know for me, the 'wine o'clock' culture we live in makes it seem that it is totally normal to drink every single evening.
Its like wine is the solution to every problem.
Kids misbehaving = drink wine.
House a tip = drink wine.
Raining and kids cannot play outside = drink wine.
But for some of us, me included, wine is the worst option to take.
There is a bigger world out there than drinking prosecco everyday.
I feel very proud of what I have achieved.
I do not have the guilty feeling every morning like I used to over how much did I drink, what did I do, what did I say.
Be aware of HALT too.
It stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
If you let yourself too hungry, angry, lonely, tired it can be a trigger to start craving a drink.
I slept a lot in the beginning. I had early nights and I got into reading again.
I avoided arguments and confrontations which could lead to me drinking out of anger.
Loneliness - I made dates to catch up friends and other mums. I came to be with my family here a lot in the evenings when my daughter was in bed.
I made sure I ate well too.
I often had an energy slump around 3pm to 4pm and I would entertain buying a bottle of wine on the way home. I found a hot chocolate, or a fresh orange juice, a doughnut or milkshake, took the craving away.
If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would stop drinking, I would have laughed at them.
But I did and 90% of how I did it was due to what I learnt here with SR family.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 131
Originally Posted by Sasha4 
I stopped drinking when my daughter was 2 years old.
She is 7 years old now and I have not drunk for 5 years.
I found I had to keep myself busy in the evenings. Perhaps in the early evenings you could do something with the kids now its coming up to summer and we have light nights?
It was not forever (keeping busy) as I did get used to not drinking in the evening, but at first it took effort to break the habit of drinking every night.
I work full time so the days were not as much an issue.
I would never go back to drinking now.
I think from your post you are in the UK?
I know for me, the 'wine o'clock' culture we live in makes it seem that it is totally normal to drink every single evening.
Its like wine is the solution to every problem.
Kids misbehaving = drink wine.
House a tip = drink wine.
Raining and kids cannot play outside = drink wine.
But for some of us, me included, wine is the worst option to take.
There is a bigger world out there than drinking prosecco everyday.
I feel very proud of what I have achieved.
I do not have the guilty feeling every morning like I used to over how much did I drink, what did I do, what did I say.
Be aware of HALT too.
It stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
If you let yourself too hungry, angry, lonely, tired it can be a trigger to start craving a drink.
I slept a lot in the beginning. I had early nights and I got into reading again.
I avoided arguments and confrontations which could lead to me drinking out of anger.
Loneliness - I made dates to catch up friends and other mums. I came to be with my family here a lot in the evenings when my daughter was in bed.
I made sure I ate well too.
I often had an energy slump around 3pm to 4pm and I would entertain buying a bottle of wine on the way home. I found a hot chocolate, or a fresh orange juice, a doughnut or milkshake, took the craving away.
If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would stop drinking, I would have laughed at them.
But I did and 90% of how I did it was due to what I learnt here with SR family.
I wish you the best xx
She is 7 years old now and I have not drunk for 5 years.
I found I had to keep myself busy in the evenings. Perhaps in the early evenings you could do something with the kids now its coming up to summer and we have light nights?
It was not forever (keeping busy) as I did get used to not drinking in the evening, but at first it took effort to break the habit of drinking every night.
I work full time so the days were not as much an issue.
I would never go back to drinking now.
I think from your post you are in the UK?
I know for me, the 'wine o'clock' culture we live in makes it seem that it is totally normal to drink every single evening.
Its like wine is the solution to every problem.
Kids misbehaving = drink wine.
House a tip = drink wine.
Raining and kids cannot play outside = drink wine.
But for some of us, me included, wine is the worst option to take.
There is a bigger world out there than drinking prosecco everyday.
I feel very proud of what I have achieved.
I do not have the guilty feeling every morning like I used to over how much did I drink, what did I do, what did I say.
Be aware of HALT too.
It stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
If you let yourself too hungry, angry, lonely, tired it can be a trigger to start craving a drink.
I slept a lot in the beginning. I had early nights and I got into reading again.
I avoided arguments and confrontations which could lead to me drinking out of anger.
Loneliness - I made dates to catch up friends and other mums. I came to be with my family here a lot in the evenings when my daughter was in bed.
I made sure I ate well too.
I often had an energy slump around 3pm to 4pm and I would entertain buying a bottle of wine on the way home. I found a hot chocolate, or a fresh orange juice, a doughnut or milkshake, took the craving away.
If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would stop drinking, I would have laughed at them.
But I did and 90% of how I did it was due to what I learnt here with SR family.
I wish you the best xx
SB
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
Welcome to SR! I'm a mom also and realized how much my drinking was affecting my kids. You totally have this if you want it! I stay very close to SR and read through threads daily. So many pieces of great advice here. I hadn't gone more than a few days without wine before a month ago. I have a plan almost every evening during my usual "wine time." There is great support here so keep posting!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by time2shineagain
Today is only day 2 and I'm already craving a drink...have been all afternoon...
Argh... why is it so hard!!!
Argh... why is it so hard!!!
I was still confused by this when I joined SR. It even led me to choose my screen name - wanting to drink when I knew it was destroying me made no sense!
That's the heart of addiction - you know it's horrible, but you want it anyway.
Of course that's hard. But you're two days into it now. Breathe deep. You're doing this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Originally Posted by time2shineagain
Today is only day 2 and I'm already craving a drink...have been all afternoon...
Trying to stay strong. My drinking has spiraled out of control and is making me a detached Mum. So unfair on my kids who are only 1 and 4. Not to mention my mental health.
Argh... why is it so hard!!!
Trying to stay strong. My drinking has spiraled out of control and is making me a detached Mum. So unfair on my kids who are only 1 and 4. Not to mention my mental health.
Argh... why is it so hard!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 374
Thanks everyone. I feel so much support
Sasha, thank you so much. Everything you said hit home for me. I'm in Australia, so the weather is cooling off right now, but you're right, keeping busy during those high risk times will be key for me.
Thanks again and I'll definitely keep posting!
Sasha, thank you so much. Everything you said hit home for me. I'm in Australia, so the weather is cooling off right now, but you're right, keeping busy during those high risk times will be key for me.
Thanks again and I'll definitely keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 382
It will get easier for you as the days go on. The beginning is the hardest part. Keep the thought of your kids in your mind at all times. They need you, and hopefully they will be your strength. Best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Originally Posted by SummerBee
Great post Sasha. The mummy wine o clock culture is huge here in the uk, I agree. Getting through those early evening hours is key. What I would like to ask others about is 'craving'. For me cravings werent physical. It was just more of a habit that I had to fulfill. I never had the shakes or anything like that. The brain does weird things to us doesnt it. I felt compelled to drink, sometimes knowing that I could easily not drink that day. Does that resonate with anyone else ?
SB
SB
So after all day at work, then doing bath and bedtime routine with my daughter, wine was a 'reward' for reaching the end of the day. Everyone else did it, why not me?
It took me a while to realise, that for me. alcohol was not a reward, far from it.
It brought anxiety and self loathing the next day. Who deserves that?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
I never did get sober when my son was young - so you're doing far better than I did, time2shine. You'll go through several phases as you begin to get free of it - on Day 2 it's understandable to have cravings. They will ease up and you'll begin to enjoy your new way of living.
Being Sober is Awesome
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Oregon
Posts: 507
My son is 13 and unfortunately his mother (my ex) and I are both alcoholics. He had to grow up seeing some of it. My 3 year old daughter has seen some too. Thankfully my wife is supportive and did not leave me. By the grace of God they will not have to ever witness any of that crap again.
I do agree though that you have to do it for yourself first. Everyone else will then benefit from it
I do agree though that you have to do it for yourself first. Everyone else will then benefit from it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 374
SummerBee...Re: cravings...Yes for me the cravings are emotional. I don't *think* I'm physically addicted to alcohol, but most definitely emotionally. Like Sasha was saying, alcohol has always been the solution. Bad day at work: drink. Kids giving me a hard time: drink. Something good happens: celebratory drink.
Unfortunately the alcohol culture in Australia is very bad as well, and Alcohol seems to be a part of most everything we do. Part of being afraid to quit (for me) is feeling isolated.
Unfortunately the alcohol culture in Australia is very bad as well, and Alcohol seems to be a part of most everything we do. Part of being afraid to quit (for me) is feeling isolated.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome to you. It is hard at first to get into a new routine and break that habit, even if you are not physically addicted. A good idea might be to start new routines and new solutions to those situations.
An example might be to find a replacement beverage and save it for those particular times. I used to do this with sparkling water that I added herbs and citrus juice to. I would save that drink for the evening, so it became a special reward. Tea is also nice. I have now gotten into ginger beers (non-alcoholic, like a ginger ale but more spicy) and try to save those for stressful times or celebratory times as a reward.
An example might be to find a replacement beverage and save it for those particular times. I used to do this with sparkling water that I added herbs and citrus juice to. I would save that drink for the evening, so it became a special reward. Tea is also nice. I have now gotten into ginger beers (non-alcoholic, like a ginger ale but more spicy) and try to save those for stressful times or celebratory times as a reward.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi timetoshineagain
I'm a fellow Aussie and a bloke but I thought it would be hard not drinking too but it was a lot easier than I thought...
the amount of people who drink sparingly or not at all staggered me...but I guess I only hung around people who drank like I did...
I had to make a few changes but change was what I wanted anyway.
stick with it - you won't regret it - & there's a ton of support here
I'm a fellow Aussie and a bloke but I thought it would be hard not drinking too but it was a lot easier than I thought...
the amount of people who drink sparingly or not at all staggered me...but I guess I only hung around people who drank like I did...
I had to make a few changes but change was what I wanted anyway.
stick with it - you won't regret it - & there's a ton of support here
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