Suggestions please
Suggestions please
It may well be that somebody points out something really obvious to me - which would be marvelous -or it may be the that other people have the same problem and have something in place.
My biggest problem (besides the 'once I start I can't stop' thing) is that 9 times out of 10 my first purchase of the day is spur of the moment and not planned.
So, I'll walk home from town and as I pass a shop decide there and then to go in and buy wine (there is no route that doesn't go past a shop) - very very rarely do I go out with the intention of buying alcohol.
Yesterday I had lunch with my son in one town and then drove to my parents in another town to have a cuppa. As I got to their town I drove past a solitary shop that was open, parked up and bought a bottle.
All the way back to my town I had a debate going in my head about just going straight home and diving in rather than going to the evening church service I'd planned on going to.
I'm pleased to say that singing and waving my arms around in the 'good' way overcame the singing and weaving around in a drunken way - BUT that happened later in the evening.
Does anybody have any advice or strategies for coping with the 'spur of the moment' purchases?
Tonight I'm going to have a Chinese take away for dinner which means walking past the closest shop BUT when I went to the shop earlier (didn't buy any alcohol) I took some money from the cash point so when I go to the take away I will just take the money - and will leave my card at home so I just don't have the means to buy anything.
Many thanks
My biggest problem (besides the 'once I start I can't stop' thing) is that 9 times out of 10 my first purchase of the day is spur of the moment and not planned.
So, I'll walk home from town and as I pass a shop decide there and then to go in and buy wine (there is no route that doesn't go past a shop) - very very rarely do I go out with the intention of buying alcohol.
Yesterday I had lunch with my son in one town and then drove to my parents in another town to have a cuppa. As I got to their town I drove past a solitary shop that was open, parked up and bought a bottle.
All the way back to my town I had a debate going in my head about just going straight home and diving in rather than going to the evening church service I'd planned on going to.
I'm pleased to say that singing and waving my arms around in the 'good' way overcame the singing and weaving around in a drunken way - BUT that happened later in the evening.
Does anybody have any advice or strategies for coping with the 'spur of the moment' purchases?
Tonight I'm going to have a Chinese take away for dinner which means walking past the closest shop BUT when I went to the shop earlier (didn't buy any alcohol) I took some money from the cash point so when I go to the take away I will just take the money - and will leave my card at home so I just don't have the means to buy anything.
Many thanks
So is the choice not to buy. It's yours to make. And if you want to stay sober, it's a choice you have to make.
I would agree - make a daily plan. Write it down if you have to but even impulse purchases are planned - you need to make the decision to actually go into the store and select the item and pay the cashier.
Adjust your route home to not pass by places that offer alchol. Or better yet, make a plan to do something BESIDES buy alcohol. The list of things you could do besides buy or drink alchohol is virtually limitless, but here's a great start if you need ideas. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
If you truly cannot physically stop yourself from these impluses, you might need to consider some kind of inpatient rehab until you can get enough confidence/tools to allow you to do so. I know that sounds drastic, but the results if you don't do something might end up being pretty drastic too, right?
Adjust your route home to not pass by places that offer alchol. Or better yet, make a plan to do something BESIDES buy alcohol. The list of things you could do besides buy or drink alchohol is virtually limitless, but here's a great start if you need ideas. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
If you truly cannot physically stop yourself from these impluses, you might need to consider some kind of inpatient rehab until you can get enough confidence/tools to allow you to do so. I know that sounds drastic, but the results if you don't do something might end up being pretty drastic too, right?
I did the same thing for quite awhile, and eventually I realized they were not spur-of-the moment purchases. I had given myself permission, in my mind, hours or days earlier. When I made the decision that drinking was no longer an option, ever, things changed for me.
Great, thank you all so very much.
Initially with some of the comments I got a bit sniffy ....... and then realised that everyone is totally right and that it's one of the signs of an alcoholic, getting the hump and using that as justification to drink and blaming everyone else while knowing deep down it IS just an excuse (and drinking more to drown out that knowledge!!)
So yes, you are all right. I know now where the shops are on my way home (and as I say, there literally is no route home without an alcohol vendor) and I must consciously be ready for them.
Again, thank you all !!
Initially with some of the comments I got a bit sniffy ....... and then realised that everyone is totally right and that it's one of the signs of an alcoholic, getting the hump and using that as justification to drink and blaming everyone else while knowing deep down it IS just an excuse (and drinking more to drown out that knowledge!!)
So yes, you are all right. I know now where the shops are on my way home (and as I say, there literally is no route home without an alcohol vendor) and I must consciously be ready for them.
Again, thank you all !!
When I started looking out for it those auto pilot moments were not really out of the blue.
A simple plan like:
If I find myself at the liquor store tomorrow I will _________
can really help.
Think up 5 alternatives...then go for 10
Auto pilot never lasts - there's always a moment when we come to. For me opening the bottle was often that moment/.
Is it tough to cut that dead and dump the bottle at that point - yep...but it's not impossible, especially with support.
The last time I bought a bottle was not too long after I joined SR...
I walked all the way to the bottle shop in a haze...but the spell broke as I was coming home...I dumped that sucker in a roadside bin and I've never looked back
D
A simple plan like:
If I find myself at the liquor store tomorrow I will _________
can really help.
Think up 5 alternatives...then go for 10
Auto pilot never lasts - there's always a moment when we come to. For me opening the bottle was often that moment/.
Is it tough to cut that dead and dump the bottle at that point - yep...but it's not impossible, especially with support.
The last time I bought a bottle was not too long after I joined SR...
I walked all the way to the bottle shop in a haze...but the spell broke as I was coming home...I dumped that sucker in a roadside bin and I've never looked back
D
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