mbrett

Happy holiday everyone. I am trying again to get sober. I always buy more beer than needed (usually drink all day) and promise myself it's my last day. Then in the morning I'll have 3-4 left over (out of 20) and I can't throw them out. So I drink the leftovers and promise I'm gonna hydrate and eat. Never happens. I find my crazed alcoholic mind driving to the store and then it's game over. Another drunken day and night. I have to break this routine immediately. I look terrible with poor hydration and lack of nutrients. I will stay close to this site today and tomorrow. I am going to AA tonight at 7 EST. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, mbrett.

Have you seen Dee's thread regarding the importance of a plan? I'll post a link in a minute.

We are here for you. Stay close; lean on us.

SoberLeigh

As promised :

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=Psst

SoberLeigh

You may also want to consider joining an SR class:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html

doggonecarl

If you are striving to get sober, strive to be active on SR for more than two days. I'll repeat what I replied to a previous post of your where you promised to be more active on SR, yet stopped posting. I said then,

"Join the newcomers class. Post daily for support and accountability. "

Works for this post too. Hope your struggles to get sober end this time.

FreeOwl

Been there, escaped that!

This was my pattern for a very long time, too. AA helped me break it and life is a million times better.

You can do it

PippoRossi

Keep up the good fight, mbrett. You can do this!

SoberLeigh

You may also want to stop by the 24 Hour Recovery Connection thread to make a daily commitment to sobriety:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-232-a.html

mbrett

Thank you all. I need some accountability so I will join the 24 board. I am sick of living like this. I have no life and barely leave the house except to buy beer. How dumb

Mizzuno

It gets easier with time. Stay close, keep posting. People are always here for support. You can do this!

biminiblue

I posted on a thread of yours over two years ago and at the time you said you were experiencing seizures.

It sounds like you've been struggling for a very long time. Is there some reason why you haven't asked for medical detox and or rehab or outpatient intensive programs? It would make it much safer and more comfortable for you.

I hope it sticks this time for you - we don't get unlimited chances. I've known many to die of this.

mbrett

Yes I thought about detox. Signed up for it actually. Started drinking and didn't show up. Truth. Very disrespectful to the lady whom booked me. Ugh. Yes I had two seizures and kept drinking. Extremely stupid. You'd think that would be a wake up call.

Soberwolf

Really really good to see you Mbrett

2muchpain

Been where you are man and it's a tough place to be. It's amazing what a few left over beers in the morning will do to change your perspective on things. It's also amazing what we will put our bodies through just for a couple of beers. I think it all comes down to honesty. I ask myself all the time, do I really want to quit? Am I willing to do the hard work required to make a change? I hope your answer to these questions is an honest yes, then do it. Your unfortunate experience with the person reminded me of a time I was in a treatment center and punched my fist through a window. Blood everywhere. Anyway, I called the nurse and the doctor that was stitching me up every name in the book while they were busy saving my life. This would not have happened if I was sober. My point is I'm sure that person knows that your going through a tough time and don't take it personally. John

mbrett

Thank you both for replying. I truly think about drinking every second of everyday. It is awful. I only have to work on today

aasharon90

Getting myself to Step and Big Book study
meetings along with discussion and speaker
meetings helped me listen, learn, absorb
and apply an effective program of recovery
to help me achieve those awesome promises
as written for us in the Big Book to enjoy
and treasure for a life time.

I along with many who have paved the
path for us to follow helped me with each
step I took and remain sober for a many
one days at a time to get me where I am
today.

They gave me hope when they told me id
never have to pick up a drink again when
incorporating those steps in my everyday
life and in all my affairs.

I believed them and put my trust in them
and the Program of AA and I have never
had to have my misery refunded back to
me.

That to me is a blessing and gift in recovery.

It's yours too for the taking.

thomas11

You joined in 2008, so I'm sure you heard and read it all on this forum. I offer my support in hopes that you can achieve sobriety. I assure you it is much more rewarding than drinking all day every day.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Mbrett!!

Midwest1981

welcome back! Great decision to be here and attend that meeting! I wish you the best.

Dee74

Welcome back mbrett

To stay sober action is the key I think - good intentions are great but following through is the thing that really initiates change.

I was terrified of changing my life, even tho my life was pretty awful - bottle shop to room and back again.

I'm glad I committed to change - I reckon you will be too

D