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Subtle Shifts

Old 04-15-2017, 06:01 PM
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Subtle Shifts

I have noticed that in the last few weeks, there has been a shift in my relationship to my recovery, and to my past with alcohol. I have begun making peace with the fact that my anxiety and self-doubt will likely never completely go away. This means that I don't have to put so much pressure on myself for not being able to "fix" myself. The pattern of drinking to blunt the feelings of anxiety and inadequacy doesn't hold as much power. I don't have to treat my past like some magical land of pleasure that I can never visit again. I can look at my own history with booze and see that it wasn't really all that great. In fact, some of it was really awful. And I can talk about my alcoholism with my friends and family with more honesty and vulnerability now that the shame is starting to lose some of its hold on me.
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Old 04-15-2017, 06:40 PM
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Those are quite significant shifts, and I think that changing your thinking like that will help to bring you peace and healing. I went through a phase where I read every self-improvement, self-help book I could find and it was exhausting and frustrating. Change what you can and accept what you cannot change.
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Old 04-15-2017, 07:07 PM
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That's awesome I hope I can find the strength to do the same. I know a huge part of my drinking (although I am currently sober and on day 2) is just me desperately holding onto a part of my life where I was younger and carefree, partying all the time without much responsibility. Now that's simply not the reality anymore and it really depresses me sometimes.
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Old 04-15-2017, 07:17 PM
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Sweaty,

Totally agree.

Now when I feel weird or awkward I don't think...it is because I have brain damage from boozing...I think...oh this is how I feel today at this moment.

I used to stress more about the waves of feelings.

In saying that I also feel stronger than I did last month, and the month before and so on.

I am not afraid to say that even at nearly 2 years sober, I still feel like sobriety is not settled down totally w me.

I am still healing physically and mentally.

Thanks.
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