skoteski

I had posted a couple months ago but everything is so confusing. My 5 year now ex heroin addict boyfriend went to a terrible rehab - no educated certified counselors - last August 2016. The first 2 months they are basically on lock down and he seemed to be getting back to "normal". Then he got free time outside of the rehab and had his mom sending him money - she is the enabler in denial about his drug addiction. By Christmas day he had completely changed yet kept telling me he was clean but didn't love me anymore and wanted to stay living at this rehab and work there. In Jan he filed an OP against me which was thrown out. I hadn't even been around the rehab because by this time I found out he was using Kratom to pass the drug tests there. Gives opiate type high and easy to get. In Feb he filed another op against me and brought in some people/staff/addicts from the rehab stating I mailed him needles of which I didn't. Anyway he got his OP. So his behavior got stranger yet as I wasn't around the rehab or calling him or nothing. Still blows my mind how a judge could grant it but whatever.
So that was final on March 17th - my birthday! He did this on my birthday.
By March 31st this year I was getting strange text messages from a number I didn't know saying I didn't know them but they knew me and they talked to someone every day. I ignored it.
Then I found out on accident that my ex unblocked me from facebook by seeing a comment. He had me blocked since Dec.
Then I got a FB messenger message from him that was the emoji face with tears coming down the face. No words - nothing. Just that emoji.
Then a few days later that strange number started texting me again saying "Chris" (they used his name this time) doesn't do anything and isn't with anyone and just plays video games and works. So I guess no more meetings. Then they said he no longer lives at the rehab. Then they said he couldn't talk to me on messenger because then I could go to the police and have his op dropped. Then this past Monday he sent me another emoji with the same tears/crying. I replied even though that could put me in jail and said for him to say something. Nothing. So I changed my phone number Wednesday so no more text. I deactivated my FB a week ago. I still have my FB messenger and he still shows up but nothing since Monday.
So all I know is - he left the rehab. He isn't working at the rehab. He is working at a drug invested gas station that's open 24/7 and is on the worst side of town. He is not going to meetings.
My assumptions - something happened for him to either leave or get kicked out of the rehab. He found someone (probably not someone good) to take him in. He is still on FB. He plays video games. Hes not going to meetings. He seems to want to reach out to me but wont.
I am so confused. I am not an addict and basically helped keep him grounded. I know what he does or doesn't do is not in my control. I wonder if he has already relapsed and if not if that's where he is headed? He has been a heroin addict for 15 years give or take. I was with him for 5 years. Or am I just being stupid and hes happy and moving on? I don't know. Please any thoughts would help. He is unreachable to me right now but something just feels so wrong. Why would he unblock me from FB now? Why would he send me within 10 days 2 emojis crying/sad? Why have some one text me being defensive of what hes doing and where he is? I don't get it. All comments welcome and appreciated.

Ariesagain

My two cents...he's relapsed and gotten kicked out of the sober living facility.

Let him be. You were doing all the right things in changing your phone number and getting on with your life...don't go back there.

His choices are his. Your life is yours.

Sending you a hug.

suki44883

I agree with Aries. He is trying to reel you back in. I hope you don't let him do it. It would be easier to resist if you weren't friends on FB. You don't need to see what he is up to. He is your EX for a reason.

JOIE12

You made a great start. Going back there will only bring heartache. I agree with Ariesagain. Your life ... begins now. Hugs, Joie

skoteski

I am not friends with him on FB. He had me blocked and then unblocked me recently so I deactivated my FB but I still have messenger. That is how he sent me the emoji crying face. I know he stays up till wee hours of the morning from his messenger. He knows he cant do any drugs if he is with me. I pray he doesn't die by the needle. There is nothing I can do.

skoteski

Either he relapsed or he just didn't care about his "recovery" anymore. He was already hiding the Kratom use. He used Kratom few years ago and it lead right back to heroin. It breaks my heart but it is not in my control. I don't know if hes trying to real me back in. He hasn't said anything but the sad face emojis on 2 different days. I hate all this. I don't hate him - I hate what he does. I hope I am wrong.

PuzzledHeart

If he blocks you, you can also block him. You can also block him on messenger.

https://www.facebook.com/help/messen...04908296312159

To me, it does sound like he's trying to reel you back in. But you don't have to take the bait.

AnvilheadII

two sad faces on different days....if that's "reeling you in" then you might need to toughen YOUR stance. heck maybe his three year old niece grabbed the phone and sent them inadvertently. or the cat walked over the keyboard.

thing is hon.....you don't KNOW what he's doing. or why. and you are trying to squeeze a lot of information out of a frownie face.

i know you care, but don't let this weird crap overtake you.

skoteski

The text messages started before the cry face emoji. I didn't know and still don't know who it is. At first they didn't use his name. Just said they had something to tell me and they knew me but I didn't know them. Then a few days later the person said his name. They said Chris isn't with anyone and just plays video games and works and he doesn't think you love him - he thinks you hate him more then love. Then they said he doesn't live at that place anymore. Some of the messages were like on the defense. So no I don't think his cat jumped on his phone. Its him who sent the faces. I just don't know why I guess. My gut says hes using again. I know him to well. Your right I don't know what hes doing. I don't know anything. Hence the reason I changed my number because it just messed with my head.

AnvilheadII

what can you do for YOU to get out of this headspace?? we can overthink our overthinking and it's exhausting!!!!

JimC60

skoteski,

I'm with the rest - he relapsed on something, maybe not heroin -- he may be off on a different adventure.

Probably kicked out of the sober living house, but it does not really make any difference.

"There is nothing I can do." Exactly right!

It won't be easy, but I suggest you walk away while you still can.

One day at a time,

Jim

skoteski

He started using Kratom while in rehab but hiding it from me. I knew something was wrong because his attitude changed. I brought it up a few times and then on xmas day he told me we were over and didn't love me. All his actions or lack of lead back to drug use. He may just be smoken weed and using Kratom right now - I honestly don't know. But hes headed down a very bad path. He does know that if I saw him I would know. After 5 years there is no question anymore if hes using or not. I just know. I am the only one who calls him out on his bs to of which he hated. I feel like I didn't have a choice and I am not in his life. So in a sense I have walked away. I need to let go of the what ifs ect. Its so hard because I really did love him and gave him my all. Now hes just a stranger.

Hechosedrugs

A counselor once asked me, after patiently sitting through one of my long diatribes:

"Can I ask you a question? Why don't you sound ANGRY?"

Why wasn't I? After all my ex put me and my kids through, why wasn't I angry?

Sometimes we need anger to help us through these situations.

You're saying this man took out two restraining orders on you when you had done nothing wrong? One of them on your BIRTHDAY? Why aren't your angry? Your feeling sad for him... how's that working out for you?

Jaeger

skoteski,
I also think it sounds like he has relapsed. I think you are in a very dangerous position.....you are most likely dealing with a relapsed addict that has an OP against you. That sure wouldn't give me any warm fuzzy feelings. I would block him on messenger immediately. Do you want to end up in jail for this guy??
Jaeger

teatreeoil007

It sounds like he is trying to reel you back in by playing on your sympathy. He took out 2 restraining orders on you...and NOW has been contacting you...sounds like a very confused person.

hopeful4

You cannot block or save him from any sort of bad path he is on. Save yourself. Delete and block all messages.

solicitude

I bet the person that "you dont know but knows you" is just him pretending to be someone else.

skoteski

I honestly have no idea. The first night they messaged me I thought it was related to him but wasn't playing into it. The next time they texted they used his name and they were very defensive. For a second I thought maybe it was him pretending to be someone else because I don't know his cell number. I tried looking into the number but came up with nothing. I just know it played games with my head. Then the crying faces from him with no words. I just changed my number all together so I cant get anymore text. I am still off facebook and have not received anymore messenger emojis from him. Maybe hes clean or maybe hes not. None of it makes sense. I am planning on relocating as soon as I secure employment and I am looking forward to a new start. He wont know where I live or work anymore and I need that for peace of mind. He has been a heroin user for 15+ years and has never stayed clean and all substances he does use lead back to dope. So its better I just keep looking forward. Maybe I never knew him at all.

skoteski

I am doing my best to save myself and move forward. I just had no closure at all with any of it. I guess his true colors showed through because he didn't care how I felt or his dog felt. He chose to live in the middle of a drug area, work in a drug gas station and hang around people who do drugs. Some are clean but he also went back to others. Its his life and I need to focus on mine now.

skoteski

Usually when he is using he doesn't know what he is doing and he is easily influenced by his so called "friends" he has at the moment. Sadly those friends never stay around and he usually sinks further into drug use. Maybe he stay clean or maybe not. Nothing makes sense.