914born

Not even​ 24hrs clean. I spent at least 4hunred the last 3 days only on cocaine, beer, and cigarettes.also I've been having migraines the past couple of days which is new to me. I enjoy it while I'm doing it, but the aftermath is killing me. U feel like crap, everything hurts, especially my nose. And emotionally drained from crying and hating myself for once again doing this ****. I hate this part of my life.

JustTony

The first step was the hardest for me. I hope that you find the strength to stop for 24 hours and then take it from there? I am only 18 days in and I feel like a completely different human being.

Less than three weeks ago I was spending 15 hours a day in bed only to get up and drink myself into oblivion again. The spells of being in bed were getting longer and the periods of self loathing were getting deeper.

Strength to you.

Tony

PhoenixJ

Can you get to a detox centre, ER, a doctor. Withdrawals after a big bender can be dangerous. Stay safe- do not use or drink.

Soberwolf

Good to see you 914Born

Midwest1981

the self loathing is the worse. I hope you feel better soon.

Misc72

Are you able to draw an emotional and mindful line in the sand... After your done feeling guilty focus on moving forward without looking back? Easier said than done, I know all to well but at least think about it. It takes some of us (like me) more than 1 try at this. Yes for me too it feels good at first. I call that "The Journey To The Buzz". Then after that buzz has been attained we are just chasing the dragon. The juice isn't worth the squeeze for me anymore. I'm not magically cured, I still struggle but I'd like to take my own advice so by you posting your struggle it makes me think of a response to your situation and it also helps my own situation. So thank you.

LadyinBC

Hating yourself does yourself absolutely no good. You pick yourself up and keep trying.

I relapsed over and over again cause I had no plan. A plan is important in recovery. Do you have one?

AnvilheadII

I hate this part of my life

if you mean the drugs and the booze, GOOD! if you mean the wretched "day after" feeling, good as well.

because you can REMOVE those things from your life PERMANENTLY.
and never EVER have to feel like this again. not worn out from the using. or lack of sleep from doing too much coke. or feeling sick from all the money gone. (don't forget this fact, you can't get it back.....). or hating ANY part of your life.

there IS a solution. and it's genius in it's simplicity. and there are several tried and true programs that can help you if you faithfully adhere to the suggestions.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're hurting 914born but I'm glad you made it back
any ideas on what you might do differently this time?

D

PurpleKnight

You can turn this around, finally draw a line under all the things that are making you miserable.

Strive for a piece of that long term happiness, you are worth it!!

SoberLeigh

Very good to see you back, 914born.

I've missed you.

Are you able to get safely to a doctor or an ER? As PhoenixJ mentioned, you may need medical supervision to safely detox.

So glad that you are back and wanting to try the sober life again.

We are here for you. Stay close. Lean on us.

FreedomCA

Keep trying and learn from each relapse about what you can do differently next time. Stay positive.

914born

thanks Tony

914born

Thanks SW

914born

Thanks