dss14

AH gets out of inpatient on Friday and I'm having a mixture of emotions from sad, upset, guilty, rage, and numbness.

I am nervous about seeing him after so long (yes, it's only been 20 days, but when you have been together 24/7 for the past 6 years and have no family around you...it's a long time to me).

My AH's therapist in the inpatient facility described us as 'survivors'. We have been through so much separately and together (and I'm even leaving out all the alcoholism). We have no family around us and we rely on each other heavily. This is something we both have to work on.

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting and though I was nervous and completely confused as to format - I will be going back again. I plan on trying out different ones until I find a good fit for me.

abbccj03

Hugs and support going out to you. Hope you find an al-anon group that you feel comfortable with.

Tjunction

Hi

Hugs. Best of luck to you both. Good to hear positive progress and totally understand the nervousness.

firebolt

Rooting for you!!

honeypig

dss, I found reading Alanon literature very helpful in understanding what they were getting at in the meetings. Amazon has tons of used materials, very reasonably priced. "How Alanon Works" and "Paths to Recovery" are both good, as are all of the daily readers like "Courage to Change."

I hope you keep trying. Alanon isn't for everyone, but I think it definitely does have something to offer, even if only for a portion of your recovery. It wasn't the whole answer for me, but definitely is a part of the puzzle and I'm grateful for what I have learned and continue to learn from that source.

soberandhonest

Good luck to you and your husband dss!

aasharon90

Seeing a husband and wife attending
recovery meetings together is awesome
to me. To see them sitting together I can
sense that they are living a recovery
program in their lives. It absolutely
shows on them. In their eyes, their smiles,
their demeaner or air about them.

If you understand what I'm trying to say.

You can tell that they still love each
other because they chose to incorporate
a recovery program in their marriage
to strengthen the bond between them.

Many marriages don't make it and
yet many do because they both do
the footwork and choose to make it.

I hope you both work together in building
a more stronger, heathier, sober, loving,
caring bond between the 2 of you for many
more yrs ahead of you.

Understanding and communication
is extremely important as you both
move forward.

LexieCat

I have a slightly different perspective on that. When I see someone NEWLY SOBER at meetings with his/her spouse/partner, it makes me think either that the spouse is getting over-involved in the alcoholic's recovery or that the alcoholic is dragging the spouse to show how "committed" s/he is. I think in EARLY recovery is it's best for spouses/partners to stay out of each other's recovery meetings. Not to say it isn't nice to go when the alcoholic is getting a chip, or the occasional speaker's meeting, but it shouldn't be every meeting.

I used to go once in a while with my first husband to a meeting. But I didn't go to all of them--it was an occasional thing when there was a good reason.

Just my two cents.