Hi-I just want to introduce myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 30
Hi-I just want to introduce myself
I am a 30 year old Professional Female (until recently when I lost my job).Why? because I work in the Medical Field and was in the Hospital for 6 days- and one of the Dr's I work for HATES Alcoholics..I had pnuemonia, a staph infection- after my boyfriend and I returned from Vacation in Key West. Some have a 2-3 day bender-I had a 2 WEEK bender. I left the Hospital convinced I would not drink again..Did I ? Of Course. I saw soo many Dr's in that 6 days-they told me I looked 16-I probaly looked pathetic laying there soo sick and my Primary Dr (whom I know very well-told me it never fails to amaze him how some can drink very heavily for 40 Years and are fine but the past 3 years I have drank-Moderate-Heavy and I almost died!).
Both Parents have had drinking issues and I don't understand why this disease has snuck up, tried (almost) killed me and I can't let it go..
I need Friends and help! NO Family support-they think it's all MY fault. My Boyfriend (who is in complete denial) cannot understand or comprehend how such a pretty, smart (yeah right!) College graduate could have a problem. Oh, I am soo clever at hiding things..
Both Parents have had drinking issues and I don't understand why this disease has snuck up, tried (almost) killed me and I can't let it go..
I need Friends and help! NO Family support-they think it's all MY fault. My Boyfriend (who is in complete denial) cannot understand or comprehend how such a pretty, smart (yeah right!) College graduate could have a problem. Oh, I am soo clever at hiding things..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Kingston, NY
Posts: 390
Hi Cindi, and welcome. There are many good people here with wonderful success stories. Coming here has really been helping me, so you've made a good choice in posting. You will receive much love and support here, and no judgment against you.
I too am a "pretty, smart, college educated" woman who is clever at hiding things... and it has to stop. The hiding and dishonesty will destroy our spirits just as surely as alcohol will destroy our bodies.
Good luck in your recovery - keep coming here, it helps.
Take care of yourself.
I too am a "pretty, smart, college educated" woman who is clever at hiding things... and it has to stop. The hiding and dishonesty will destroy our spirits just as surely as alcohol will destroy our bodies.
Good luck in your recovery - keep coming here, it helps.
Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Hey Cindi, welcome. I once read that the smarter you are the worse alcoholism can be. I think your last sentence sums that up; " Oh, I am soo clever at hiding things."
We can hide our drinking from others for only so long without repercussions, and I think that is what I felt guilty about the most. It is almost like we are lying to or trying to kid ourselves that we actually got away with something (drinking).
A lot of alcoholics lose more than one job, and I know you can always get another one, but now may be a good time to look at your treatment options.
It sounds like your boyfrriend and family could also use a primer on alcoholism (there are many good books out there). Seek out their support - it helps tremendously in recovery.
You will find many friends here as well as people that have been through similar situations as yourself; a very caring community!!
David
We can hide our drinking from others for only so long without repercussions, and I think that is what I felt guilty about the most. It is almost like we are lying to or trying to kid ourselves that we actually got away with something (drinking).
A lot of alcoholics lose more than one job, and I know you can always get another one, but now may be a good time to look at your treatment options.
It sounds like your boyfrriend and family could also use a primer on alcoholism (there are many good books out there). Seek out their support - it helps tremendously in recovery.
You will find many friends here as well as people that have been through similar situations as yourself; a very caring community!!
David
one of many
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ellisville, FL
Posts: 200
Cindi I'd like to welcome you to our fine little community. I've been here less than a week myself but it's been A GREAT WEEK! The people here rock and they won't let you down so come in here and let us know whats up whenever you feel like it. I am a drug addict/alcoholic who has been in denial for quite awhile but not anymore. The first step is to get truthful with yourself. It sounds like you have and that you are well on your way to recovery.
You say that you need friends and support. Well I did too, thats why I started going to NA meetings, and so far I've met some really awesome people who are actually concerned about my recovery, so I can't recommend going to AA enough for you. Keep coming back to SR forums we'll be here too.
You say that you need friends and support. Well I did too, thats why I started going to NA meetings, and so far I've met some really awesome people who are actually concerned about my recovery, so I can't recommend going to AA enough for you. Keep coming back to SR forums we'll be here too.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Welcome Cindi!
Master manipulator and closet alcoholic here! I'm glad you found us, so many just don't get us, and for me it's there issue now not mine. I work on me on a daily basis. I do what is necessary to stay sober. The past is history, and all we have is today and each day add's up to a better future. So forget about what they think, how much they're in denial, and how they blame you for it all, just get up each day trying to stay sober. One day at a time. You hang out here with us and see what works for you. Visit the Links and resources forum for 12 step info and 12 step alternatives. We're glad your here, it's no coincidence!
Master manipulator and closet alcoholic here! I'm glad you found us, so many just don't get us, and for me it's there issue now not mine. I work on me on a daily basis. I do what is necessary to stay sober. The past is history, and all we have is today and each day add's up to a better future. So forget about what they think, how much they're in denial, and how they blame you for it all, just get up each day trying to stay sober. One day at a time. You hang out here with us and see what works for you. Visit the Links and resources forum for 12 step info and 12 step alternatives. We're glad your here, it's no coincidence!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 30
Thank you-I need a LOT of support and have been looking "around" this Site for a while before I decided maybe this (site) was for me.
Oh, my Lord the pain I feel-I am so angry at myself because I knew what this poison can cause-I was raised in such chaos b/c of this crap. I could write a book!
Oh, my Lord the pain I feel-I am so angry at myself because I knew what this poison can cause-I was raised in such chaos b/c of this crap. I could write a book!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Cindi,
Don't beat yourself up over it. We could all write books about the things we knew and still picked up that drink or drug. All you can do now is decide one day at a time that you don't want to drink anymore. Hang in there and get to know some of the people here. Cling to those you feel comfortable with.
Sherry
Don't beat yourself up over it. We could all write books about the things we knew and still picked up that drink or drug. All you can do now is decide one day at a time that you don't want to drink anymore. Hang in there and get to know some of the people here. Cling to those you feel comfortable with.
Sherry
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
Posts: 1,027
Hi Cindi,
I am 29 year old alcoholic myself... University educated, well respected at work (if they only knew) and successful . My family doesn't think I am an alcoholic, but I know I am and that's all it matters... Working hard on getting better and haven't had a drink in 8 days.. Get help, sober life is so much better..
I am 29 year old alcoholic myself... University educated, well respected at work (if they only knew) and successful . My family doesn't think I am an alcoholic, but I know I am and that's all it matters... Working hard on getting better and haven't had a drink in 8 days.. Get help, sober life is so much better..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: brandon man, canada
Posts: 258
well as you may know now i,m an alcoholic too.The only advice i can give you is after reading what happened to you is ha maybe you finaly hit bottom and sometimes thats not a bad thing.It jest shows us where we are,. and knows the time to get the help that deep down we knew we always needed.So search your soLe and figure out whats best for you.I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: PTY - Panama
Posts: 37
hi cindi
I'm Ed addict/alcoholic I see that your kind of realizing your powerless over alcohol... thats the first step in your way to recovery... wish you luck and remember that what ever you have done in the past, I thought that since you are soo clever at hidding things there must be som nasty things there your hidding, there is no shame, you shouldnt feel shame for your self, you reached out for help thats all that matters. you'll be amaze of what others have gone throught before they realize they have a problem. also remember that we are not responsible for our disease but we are responsible for our recovery.
I'm Ed addict/alcoholic I see that your kind of realizing your powerless over alcohol... thats the first step in your way to recovery... wish you luck and remember that what ever you have done in the past, I thought that since you are soo clever at hidding things there must be som nasty things there your hidding, there is no shame, you shouldnt feel shame for your self, you reached out for help thats all that matters. you'll be amaze of what others have gone throught before they realize they have a problem. also remember that we are not responsible for our disease but we are responsible for our recovery.
Welcome to SoberRecovery.i am fairly new here myself.But I really like it here.
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