5upersonic

8 months sober, and for the most part I've been resolute. It's taken more than ten years to get this far.

Something has awakened in me over the last few weeks, and I can't stop thinking about drinking.

Just been out and bought booze. Couldnt quite bring myself to pour it and here I am.

doggonecarl

That's a close call. Dump the booze. Being shaky in recovery is no time to have alcohol around.

Not sure what's awakened the addiction. Do you know? Any stresses, medical problems? Depression?

I know that I had a couple of tough goes as I approached a years. PAWS at about 6 months, then a wedding at nine months that I didn't want to go to. Never got so close that I bought booze, but I certainly had to work through the temptation.

Again, dump the booze, stay close to SR while you work through the issue.

MrMcTell

Tip it away now. Get up and go for a walk. Put a movie on. Call a friend or family member. Anything. Just don't drink.

8 months is a great achievement. I know it is hard. I'm nowhere near 8 months and I struggling for the strength to carry on, but it will get better.

Forward12

You did the right thing posting before you did something stupid. Now is the time to dump the bastard down the drain, or give it to that neighbor you dont like��

Grymt

Hey supersonic. Dump it and stay here and chat. If you've managed this far this is one of those critical moments that can massively strengthen your sobriety. You've gotten to and are experiencing this for a reason and that reason is not to bust but to learn something really important. You can do this.

5upersonic

Thanks for your replies, they mean a lot. Not sure whats triggered it, theres nothing obvious. I think I just stopped working at it, neglected my plan.

My life has improved beyond recognition since I quit, physically, emotionally, relationships, everything. Its my AV saying, "isn't life great, and guess what could make it even better...?". It's a dispicable lie, and now I can see it.

I haven't posted a lot lately, and I dont talk to anyone else about it.

I did mention that I was thinking of drinking again to a couple of people today, and both suggested I get something low alcohol and limit myself to just a few. I'm sure you'll all see how ridiculous that sounds.

Thank you, its lost its appeal already. Clearly I have more work to do.

juancarlos66

Stick at it mate. Don't give in to it. I wish I was at your level.

JustTony

Tip it down the sink now.

Please.

DontRemember

If you're struggling,like your title says, DUMP IT, shoot it(with a gun) or give it away.

Soberwolf

Supersonic this is a thing I was warned about in my sobriety I lost friends coming up on 9 months myself for some reason month 8+9 seem to be tricky for some people

Good job pouring out the booze bud stick with us tonight ok

Anna

Great. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Maybe you can come here and read and post more often to help you with your recovery journey. We do understand.

5upersonic

CreativeThinker

Glad to hear you moved past the urge 5... You've had so much success, it would have been painful to wake up in the morning and start over!

I've relapsed so many times by letting my AV tell me "You haven't had a drink in XX months, you can have a drink...stop worrying about it..."

Way to go...you beat it..."And this too shall pass"

tomsteve

seems like this:
Not sure whats triggered it, theres nothing obvious.

is rather obvious with this:
I think I just stopped working at it, neglected my plan.

gregknight

You just have to get past it for awhile and then you realize how idiotic drinking again is, what a heart-breaking mistake it would be. So glad you made the right decision.

SimplyFree

Great job! It's an encouragement to us all!

Dee74

Did I miss where you tipped it out 5upersonic?

D

5upersonic

I had put it away in the cupboard for 'guests'.

Until just now when I poured it all down the toilet.

I've been feeling tempted for weeks. Romanticising about drinking and letting the feeling take me. The warning signs were there. I think it's been triggered by a business trip I'm planning with an old drinking companion. We have a long train journey after the flight, and he made a comment about passing the time with a few drinks before correcting himself, remembering that I no longer drink. That created an image in my mind of enjoying a few beers on the train, like something out of a movie. The truth is we'd already be too drunk to even remember it, having already started in the airport waiting lounge. The next day I'd wake up full of dread at the thought of trying to get through the day and meeting people whilst feeling exhausted, anxious and sick. I might have had to clean up vomit in my hotel room that morning, a familiar routine. I'd have recovered enough to start drinking again on the way back, but it wouldn't feel good like the day before. It's just medicine at that point. Then I'd start worrying about the drive home from the airport, trying to stay just the right side of the legal limit when I know full well I won't be. I'd probably end up with a drink in the car. The next day I'd be full of remorse and regret, for what I've put myself through and the risks I've taken. The helpless hopeless feeling that I'm a slave to alcohol, and I'm killing myself. That's the reality of it.

Thanks for listening.

SimplyFree

You won't regret dumping it. As a matter of fact, I bet you felt relieved. Like backing away from the cliff edge. Nice job! You beat alcohol from stealing from you. Your sobriety is precious. Inside it contains so many things like you self respect and sanity. Congratulations! Today you made it through, which is a win for us all.

RetiredGuy

Good job, I hope I can be as strong as you if (when) the urge to drink again hits me! Thanks for the inspiration.