diplomatic reasons
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: ireland
Posts: 54
diplomatic reasons
Hi all
This has probably been covered extensively , but what reasons do you give people for not drinking , refusing a drink at a social occasion
especially to the people that knew you before you got sober
This has probably been covered extensively , but what reasons do you give people for not drinking , refusing a drink at a social occasion
especially to the people that knew you before you got sober
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
"I've decided that alcohol is no longer compatible with how I want to live my life".
"I've quit drinking".
"I chose to try sobriety for a while - and I prefer it".
"I did all my drinking in the first half of my life. Now I'm moving on."
"Turns out, I can drink - or live a really great life".
"I'm not drinking anymore because it wasn't for me".
"That was then, this is sober".
"I don't drink anymore. I like it better this way".
"Drinking didn't work out for me."
"I prefer to live my life without alcohol".
"No thanks. I don't drink."
"Why do you feel like I need a REASON not to drink"?
"Why am I not drinking? Why are YOU drinking?"
"I am drinking.... see this water? I'm drinking it".
"I'm not drinking because alcohol is poison. I've decided not to drink poison."
"Drinking? Nah."
"I find it a little uncomfortable that you keep sort of pressuring me to drink. I don't drink. Why does that bother you?"
"I used to drink. I don't anymore. So that's why I'm not drinking".
Or any of a thousand, thousand others...... but you get the idea.
"I've quit drinking".
"I chose to try sobriety for a while - and I prefer it".
"I did all my drinking in the first half of my life. Now I'm moving on."
"Turns out, I can drink - or live a really great life".
"I'm not drinking anymore because it wasn't for me".
"That was then, this is sober".
"I don't drink anymore. I like it better this way".
"Drinking didn't work out for me."
"I prefer to live my life without alcohol".
"No thanks. I don't drink."
"Why do you feel like I need a REASON not to drink"?
"Why am I not drinking? Why are YOU drinking?"
"I am drinking.... see this water? I'm drinking it".
"I'm not drinking because alcohol is poison. I've decided not to drink poison."
"Drinking? Nah."
"I find it a little uncomfortable that you keep sort of pressuring me to drink. I don't drink. Why does that bother you?"
"I used to drink. I don't anymore. So that's why I'm not drinking".
Or any of a thousand, thousand others...... but you get the idea.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I've always found the "I'm not in the mood" to be less honest and less enduring than the more permanent, decisive, "I don't drink".
That's just me, my preference and my experience. But, I found when I tried more vague or non-committal responses, they led me back to drinking.
That's just me, my preference and my experience. But, I found when I tried more vague or non-committal responses, they led me back to drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
I've always found the "I'm not in the mood" to be less honest and less enduring than the more permanent, decisive, "I don't drink".
That's just me, my preference and my experience. But, I found when I tried more vague or non-committal responses, they led me back to drinking.
That's just me, my preference and my experience. But, I found when I tried more vague or non-committal responses, they led me back to drinking.
LoveHateMerlot
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 68
I'm faced with this dilemma myself, Jack. I'm only 22 days sober today. I am fighting with myself this minute over how to handle a situation I will be in next week. I am trying to come to a realization that my sobriety is way more important to me and the people that love me, than what anyone else thinks of me. So, if I'm judged, let them judge. Like our parents say, "If they don't support you, they aren't your friends anyways." I know, it's corny, but it's true.
I keep getting those nagging thoughts in my head, "Well how about just a little glass of wine with at the social event and then you can go back to sobriety?" Those f'ing annoying voices from deep within that are wrong! The right choice, I know, is it tell people I'm not drinking.
They don't need a reason. You are badass for being sober, be proud of your exceptional accomplishments!
I keep getting those nagging thoughts in my head, "Well how about just a little glass of wine with at the social event and then you can go back to sobriety?" Those f'ing annoying voices from deep within that are wrong! The right choice, I know, is it tell people I'm not drinking.
They don't need a reason. You are badass for being sober, be proud of your exceptional accomplishments!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
just plan and simple.. NO thanks kiddo not now.. stops it a lot..
but play this and laugh for there are some great reasons not to drink in it..
gotta love those minons...... Hello ooooo .....https://youtu.be/GcCoLFWygo0
but play this and laugh for there are some great reasons not to drink in it..
gotta love those minons...... Hello ooooo .....https://youtu.be/GcCoLFWygo0
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Don't offer an explanation, and if they ask....
....just look mysterious and tap your nose
.. or point discreetly at someone random and whisper 'I can't, I'm undercover'
... or tell them (deadpan) " If I tell you I'll have to kill you".
... or shrug and say "nahhhh, don't fancy it"
...or wrinkle your nose, shake your head and sign before saying "it gets a bit boring doesn't it."
Actually, it won't matter too much what you say. Your sobriety is only your own business, and most people won't really care about you drinking unless they're big drinkers themselves and you were previously in cahoots with them, in which case they might miss you taking some of the heat and attention from them. If that's the case, give ut an hour or so and they'll forget you're not drinking unless you keep reminding them.
Usually this doesn't end up being the massive social issue that we expect it to be. If you're going to a place where you'd usually be getting off your face drunk, it might be an idea to revise your plans until you're more comfortable in your sober skin.
Hope you enjoy yourself whatever you end up doing. And that you stay sober.
BB
....just look mysterious and tap your nose
.. or point discreetly at someone random and whisper 'I can't, I'm undercover'
... or tell them (deadpan) " If I tell you I'll have to kill you".
... or shrug and say "nahhhh, don't fancy it"
...or wrinkle your nose, shake your head and sign before saying "it gets a bit boring doesn't it."
Actually, it won't matter too much what you say. Your sobriety is only your own business, and most people won't really care about you drinking unless they're big drinkers themselves and you were previously in cahoots with them, in which case they might miss you taking some of the heat and attention from them. If that's the case, give ut an hour or so and they'll forget you're not drinking unless you keep reminding them.
Usually this doesn't end up being the massive social issue that we expect it to be. If you're going to a place where you'd usually be getting off your face drunk, it might be an idea to revise your plans until you're more comfortable in your sober skin.
Hope you enjoy yourself whatever you end up doing. And that you stay sober.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 292
I'm beyond being diplomatic. I just say "no thank you" if offered an alcoholic beverage. All of my friends already know my situation, and I've rarely had anyone I don't know challeng/question my not drinking. On the rare occasions it's come up, I just say "I don't drink" and that's that. Maybe it's my age showing, but I really don't get the need for all the drama about this. Maybe it has to do with the company we keep, too??
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
Yes, but friends you've drank with before are likely to call bull on that.
And honestly - not ONE person who ever called bull**** on my sobriety is a friend anymore. Because that's not something a friend does.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Berrybean
Usually this doesn't end up being the massive social issue that we expect it to be.
BB
it turns out the biggest reason we need to have a reason is to convince OURSELVES.
nobody else really gives that much of a crap whether you're drinking or not. The only ones who might are the ones who are uncomfortable with it because your not-drinking shines a light on their drinking.
I've only had a small handful of people give me any kind of hassle.... and they were drunks.
Literally EVERYONE else responded with some form of "good for you" at minimum and many have responded with "geeze... I wish I could stop drinking".
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
You are newly sober. Avoid any situation where you are likely to be offered a drink, or have to give a reason for not accepting one.
When your recovery is stronger, you will be able to handle it. But not a week in.
When your recovery is stronger, you will be able to handle it. But not a week in.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
depending on who, where, why
No thanks, I don't drink.
I don't drink. If I do my life becomes unmanageable/spins out of control/you won't see me for weeks and when you do I'll be a mess.
I'm an alcoholic. ( I need to be ready to explain what that means so I tend to say that in situations where I can do that)
No thanks, I don't drink.
I don't drink. If I do my life becomes unmanageable/spins out of control/you won't see me for weeks and when you do I'll be a mess.
I'm an alcoholic. ( I need to be ready to explain what that means so I tend to say that in situations where I can do that)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
You are newly sober. Avoid any situation where you are likely to be offered a drink, or have to give a reason for not accepting one.
When your recovery is stronger, you will be able to handle it. But not a week in.
When your recovery is stronger, you will be able to handle it. But not a week in.
.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
the Spring Chicken Dance.. play this loud for someone with a hang over..and run run run... hahhahaha....https://youtu.be/CmCa5_QnUUw
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