I ran into my ex last night
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I ran into my ex last night
And no, I didn't back up and run into him again...
After a year and a half of living in the same town I saw my ex. I was out with ( our ) friends having cocktails and he was in the same vicinity and came over to say hi. He doesn't look like the guy I knew. Bloated, clearly had been drinking immediately before? During? After? Work, who knows. I hear from them that although he has someone else in his life his life itself is a mess. It makes me sad. the alcohol has just taken him. He knows he has a problem but chooses not to address it. Very sad. Sad for what he was and sad for what could have been a better life. After so much anger on my part I now just feel pity and that breaks my heart.
After a year and a half of living in the same town I saw my ex. I was out with ( our ) friends having cocktails and he was in the same vicinity and came over to say hi. He doesn't look like the guy I knew. Bloated, clearly had been drinking immediately before? During? After? Work, who knows. I hear from them that although he has someone else in his life his life itself is a mess. It makes me sad. the alcohol has just taken him. He knows he has a problem but chooses not to address it. Very sad. Sad for what he was and sad for what could have been a better life. After so much anger on my part I now just feel pity and that breaks my heart.
(seems appropriate, given my profession, doesn't it?)
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by Lilro 
And no, I didn't back up and run into him again...
After a year and a half of living in the same town I saw my ex. I was out with ( our ) friends having cocktails and he was in the same vicinity and came over to say hi. He doesn't look like the guy I knew. Bloated, clearly had been drinking immediately before? During? After? Work, who knows. I hear from them that although he has someone else in his life his life itself is a mess. It makes me sad. the alcohol has just taken him. He knows he has a problem but chooses not to address it. Very sad. Sad for what he was and sad for what could have been a better life. After so much anger on my part I now just feel pity and that breaks my heart.
After a year and a half of living in the same town I saw my ex. I was out with ( our ) friends having cocktails and he was in the same vicinity and came over to say hi. He doesn't look like the guy I knew. Bloated, clearly had been drinking immediately before? During? After? Work, who knows. I hear from them that although he has someone else in his life his life itself is a mess. It makes me sad. the alcohol has just taken him. He knows he has a problem but chooses not to address it. Very sad. Sad for what he was and sad for what could have been a better life. After so much anger on my part I now just feel pity and that breaks my heart.
Some wise person once said that the opposite of love is not hate, it's detachment. It sounds like you can see the sadness of his situation and also see that you're removed from it, on the road to detachment.
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Originally Posted by Sasha1972
Some wise person once said that the opposite of love is not hate, it's detachment. It sounds like you can see the sadness of his situation and also see that you're removed from it, on the road to detachment.
I think the word you meant was "indifference," which means simply not caring one way or another.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Originally Posted by Sasha1972
It's sad to see the potential being wasted. I see this with my own ex. As long as pity doesn't turn into a desire to "help" or "support" him (my own weakness), it's a good emotion, it shows you have the capacity for compassion and empathy. And it helps to show how far you've come - how good the life is that you've built for yourself.
I didn't even slightly veer toward the old habits of wanting to rescue or engage around any of that sickness. The life I have built for myself and my daughters since letting the ex go is so rich and sweet and full, I would do anything to protect it, including not falling down that sad old rabbit hole.
To anyone out there still slogging through the early days of separation, grief, loss, and withdrawal, take heart! Have courage and faith in yourself, go ahead and Choose Life. You won't regret it.
SQ
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