Can't break the 14 day barrier
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 1
Can't break the 14 day barrier
Hello all.
So for the last decade or so I've been through many cycles and types of addiction, but can't seem to break alcohol addiction.
A bit of background. I started drinking at 18 because I came from an environment with a parent who drank fairly often and didn't want to act in that way. I was fairly nervous growing up - we moved to the UK from Canada when I was 10 and never really fit in - so when I realised alcohol gave me more confidence, I started enjoying going to social gatherings or popping out every weekend. Eventually, I began overindulging.
Skipping forward, I developed major bad anxiety issues about 18 months later while experimenting with weed. I'd been through a tough breakup and lived on my own and had a thing against taking medication, but I did notice that I could self-medicate with alcohol. Pretty much from this point and through naivety I drank daily for a time.
I've had periods of increased and decreased use but, for the last couple of years, have managed to keep it more or less to every two weeks and for two days at a time. Part of that was to do with being paid bi-weekly. But more recently there hasn't been a pattern and aspects such as funding the habit have got worse.
So, I've joined this community and I'm going to force myself to regularly attend AA meetings. I have been for a short period before, but I found the experience slightly awkward. Everyone was friendly and helpful, but it was more a struggle to sort of discovering where I'd fit in and handling my denial that I've got a problem with alcohol (I definitely do, but the longer you have from a particularly bad period the more you forget how bad you actually were, and I've always been pretty good at lying, particularly to myself).
I guess that's the top and bottom of it. I've had two periods of sobriety lasting over 90 days without treatment or attending meetings and know that support and better commitment to staying sober would've definitely extended that possibly to today. I'm 28, so this has been going on for around 10 years. I've had periods of partial and actual homelessness stemming from this and I'm pretty sure that since my partner's hit her limit on how much she can take, it's possible this could happen again soon.
I'd just like to apologise in closing to the more rambling nature of this post. I think trying to reflect and collect your thoughts and then trying to introduce them to others is a fairly difficult process if you do both at the same time. Heh.
So for the last decade or so I've been through many cycles and types of addiction, but can't seem to break alcohol addiction.
A bit of background. I started drinking at 18 because I came from an environment with a parent who drank fairly often and didn't want to act in that way. I was fairly nervous growing up - we moved to the UK from Canada when I was 10 and never really fit in - so when I realised alcohol gave me more confidence, I started enjoying going to social gatherings or popping out every weekend. Eventually, I began overindulging.
Skipping forward, I developed major bad anxiety issues about 18 months later while experimenting with weed. I'd been through a tough breakup and lived on my own and had a thing against taking medication, but I did notice that I could self-medicate with alcohol. Pretty much from this point and through naivety I drank daily for a time.
I've had periods of increased and decreased use but, for the last couple of years, have managed to keep it more or less to every two weeks and for two days at a time. Part of that was to do with being paid bi-weekly. But more recently there hasn't been a pattern and aspects such as funding the habit have got worse.
So, I've joined this community and I'm going to force myself to regularly attend AA meetings. I have been for a short period before, but I found the experience slightly awkward. Everyone was friendly and helpful, but it was more a struggle to sort of discovering where I'd fit in and handling my denial that I've got a problem with alcohol (I definitely do, but the longer you have from a particularly bad period the more you forget how bad you actually were, and I've always been pretty good at lying, particularly to myself).
I guess that's the top and bottom of it. I've had two periods of sobriety lasting over 90 days without treatment or attending meetings and know that support and better commitment to staying sober would've definitely extended that possibly to today. I'm 28, so this has been going on for around 10 years. I've had periods of partial and actual homelessness stemming from this and I'm pretty sure that since my partner's hit her limit on how much she can take, it's possible this could happen again soon.
I'd just like to apologise in closing to the more rambling nature of this post. I think trying to reflect and collect your thoughts and then trying to introduce them to others is a fairly difficult process if you do both at the same time. Heh.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome!
AA was really akward for me,too early on. I was used to being around practicing drunks and all them recovered alcoholics? they weren't all jacked up like I was used to being around. that wasn't normal!
I started reading the big book over and over. noticed quite a few promises that would happen if I worked the steps. I wanted those. I kept goin back and kept workin the steps. started feeling comfortable not only at meetings, but also in my own skin.
and I haven't drank since.
AA was really akward for me,too early on. I was used to being around practicing drunks and all them recovered alcoholics? they weren't all jacked up like I was used to being around. that wasn't normal!
I started reading the big book over and over. noticed quite a few promises that would happen if I worked the steps. I wanted those. I kept goin back and kept workin the steps. started feeling comfortable not only at meetings, but also in my own skin.
and I haven't drank since.
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