MelbourneHelp

Yesterday I shared with the group how, after five weeks of being sober I relapsed and was frustrated with myself for doing so.

I have committed myself to writing in this group every single day, call it therapy, until I feel that I don't need to any more. I thought it would be good to share my journey.

Yesterday I explained that as a result of my drinking, whenever these episodes happen, I send text messages of frustration to my partner and raise everything he has ever done wrong. This is not healthy and he doesn't deserve it. I decided that I absolutely have to change, for my partner.

This morning I told my partner that his hair was going grey and he jokingly said, "that's because of your drinking episodes every five weeks". If he knew how such statements play on my mind, he wouldn't say these things and I have mentioned that.

However, it made me realise something important. I have to change myself for me and as a result, secondly, for him.

My point is that I am not concerned about our relationship falling apart, we have been together for 10 years now. However, you never know what the future holds and today I realised that if I change because of him and not for me, if our relationship was over I would probably run back to drink for comfort (it's my default mechanism!)

So, I want to encourage you today. Make YOU, YOUR health, YOUR future be the no.1 reason that you pursue sobriety in your life.

saoutchik

Glad you are back on the wagon.

I genuinely believe that you can only quit alcohol or drugs for yourself. Partners, spouses, children, family and friends are all added incentives but getting sober is necessarily a self centered enterprise in some respects.

Good luck MelbourneHelp

badger257

^^^this
Sorry you are going through a rough spot. Everyone here had been there, and there is s ton of experience, and support here. Why only post until you feel you don't need it?

Mizzuno

I kinda laughed at your partners comment. I dont know if there was much seriousness behind it? I mean, I certainly would have many grey hairs with my binges if I didnt experiment with different shades of blonde.

You are going to be ok. And, quitting the sauce for yourself is the only way to have lasting sobriety. I agree. Keep moving forward!

Anna

Yes, you must do this for yourself.

AnvilheadII

remember - your partner has free choice to stay in this relationship and to "endure" the every five week binge. or whatever. assuming he isn't chained to the radiator, of course!

yes please do this for YOU. for your best today and tomorrow. free yourself from the bondage of addiction. the path ahead is so much better than you even realize right now. i wish you the very best.

Lava256

Yeah... I too had to laugh at that comment. It really is quite funny. Refrained from mentioning it earlier because I then put myself in Melbournehelp's shoes and possibly, yes, I too may have felt hurt. At least your partner can make jokes about it, though, right?