bronzie

I'm feeling so much anger lately, mostly over the past 6 months I have noticed it. I have a hard time controlling my outbursts.
It's too embarrassing to tell my doctor or anyone about it. I know it has a lot to do with being in an emotionally abusive relationship for the past year and a half. I also have an (almost) 3 year old who constantly tests my patience, especially on the weekends. I can't take it sometimes. I try to stay calm and patient, but I feel like each day, I end up yelling and feeling physical distress from the anger inside. I know drinking doesn't help in the long run, but it soothes any anger, irritability, or anxiety I am feeling in the moment. I also have fear....fear that in sobriety, I will just be a hateful, angry person. People like me at my job and I can be friendly and I love helping others. It's just those close to me that seem to boil my blood the most, and I won't even get started on my issues with my mother. That's a whole nother chapter all it's own.
A little background....I did have anger issues as a teenager, not so much during college when I lived alone, although I have always drank and been in abusive (emotional and physical) relationships, which has caused me to be diagnosed with PTSD, so loud sudden sounds really bother me. I am already on antidepressants.
Has anyone experienced feelings like this? How to overcome this and live like a normal person!?!?

(I apologize for the long post, but it took a lot for me to post here in the mental health area and admit this problem I am having).

neferkamichael

Bronzie, I'm going on 7 years of sobriety and I my be more angry now, but maybe I just didn't notice it as a drunk. I'm beginning to realize that emotional problems aren't necessarily related to chemical substance abuse. I myself need to get over embarrassment issues and go get professional help. Rootin for ya.

bronzie

Hi, thanks for your response. And congrats on 7 years sober! That's amazing! Thanks, and I'm rooting for you as well. I hope we can both overcome this!

PhoenixJ

talk to someone. it is not embarrassing. if you bottle stuff up- it just corrodes the soul

Tc4ever

Bronzie
I went through the same thing. For me it ended up being depression. I take meds for it now and it helps a lot. I still have my moments and issues, but not as bad as it was...Great job on being as far as you are...
TC

bronzie

Thank you, I am working on a plan now.
I have to be able to control my emotions. That's part of being an adult and a parent. We don't get to throw "temper tantrums" anymore. I usually am not like this, I think just going thru a rough time right now. Keeping things bottled up I believe is the root issue, and being more open, caring and sober I think is my answer. I just have to do the work.

Bekindalways

Ugh . . . anger. I ran into a lot of this in my 40s. I would have melt downs on my parents. It felt a bit like emotional barfing. Very embarrassing. Humbling too . . which I suppose is a good thing.

Let us know how you get on Bronzie.

dsmaxis10

I've got an anger issue with people that spread stigma I'll pray for you.

dsmaxis10

Let's face it I had vendettas and was about to be put in a mental hospital for anger but I Let Go LET GOD DETACHMENT I forgive absolutly nothing happens in God world by mistake but you don't have to approve of it!!

dsmaxis10

I'll never forget all the stigma i faced in a certain fellowship so I'm going to Refugee recovery I'm done with it it will never change!!!

bronzie

I hope you find a recovery program that works for you. I'm still in early recovery, and it's a struggle, but I know I have to learn how to control my emotions, such as anger, depression, excitability and even happiness without numbing them with alcohol. I think the mood shifts will sort out and get more even with longer sobriety, at least that's what my doctor and therapist both say.

Bekindalways

Bronzie, can you try talking/relating to the anger? With my depression I can often kind of invite it in: "Hi old friend. How are you? Tell me what you have to say." . . . . although as I'm typing this I'm remembering my own melt downs where it was such a loss of control. Argh!!

Let us know how you get on. Keep working it and posting!

kittycat3

Are you sober now Bronzie? And the relationship that is emotionally abusive, are you planning to leave? Nothing changes if nothing changes, as they say....

I'm a big proponent of therapy / counseling, either solo or with your partner, or both.

bronzie

Yes I am sober now. This is the first weekend I have spent away from my partner, and I feel okay about that.
I saw my doctor last week, and I am getting back into therapy this week.

Bekindalways

Thinking of you Bronzie. Hope all is well.

blueflower17

Just observe your anger - font judge it. It comes and ot goes.

dsmaxis10

part of schizophrenia anonymous was to freely forgive anyone or anything that harmed you a brother that embezzeled me 100,000$ at least aa telling me to dump my medication down the toilet and becoming disabled ten years to forgive women food using me to move up the food change yes and much much more and i forgive freely to live recovered alcoholic in 14 days how many now don't know all i know i've recovered from every addiction including alcoholism opiates porn poker over eating and recovered schizophrenic and yes i take a lot of medication if you don't believe in God of your conception I'd just say I have a open mind to forgive if you believe in a Higher Power or a God of your conception get on your knees and pray for the willingness to forgive if you got real faith pray for the people you hate yes all of them to have a blessed life better then yours and you will be free indeed