here's the thing about triggers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
here's the thing about triggers
Triggers.
They're those things on a gun that set off the BOOM.
They're those things that make the damage unfold.
And for us with addictions, they're those things that can set off disaster for us.
But here's the thing about triggers...
It's US who decides to put the finger on and pull.
Or not.
They're those things on a gun that set off the BOOM.
They're those things that make the damage unfold.
And for us with addictions, they're those things that can set off disaster for us.
But here's the thing about triggers...
It's US who decides to put the finger on and pull.
Or not.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Here's the thing about triggers for me. They can be anything and everything. As such, for me there is no such thing as a "trigger" to drink alcohol because the truth is anything can be framed as an excuse to drink by my AV. That makes every single thing in the world a potential trigger. I look at it like this...whenever something really great or really bad happens, my AV will jump right in to say "This calls for a drink!". It's not the event that's triggering me to drink, it's my AV using that event as a reason for drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
Triggers.
They're those things on a gun that set off the BOOM.
They're those things that make the damage unfold.
And for us with addictions, they're those things that can set off disaster for us.
But here's the thing about triggers...
It's US who decides to put the finger on and pull.
Or not.
They're those things on a gun that set off the BOOM.
They're those things that make the damage unfold.
And for us with addictions, they're those things that can set off disaster for us.
But here's the thing about triggers...
It's US who decides to put the finger on and pull.
Or not.
So true! I can literally feel myself being right on the edge of giving up and feeding fuel to the fire, or taking the time to run the tape forward and move past the moment.What surprises me the most about triggers is the mental strain. After moving past them, I am physically exhausted!
As long as I remember "this too shall pass" and to wait before I react I'm able to move past it.
Thank you FreeOwl!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Anything and everything could be a "trigger". Living life means we have all these things coming at us at any time. I do believe its my response to life and my coping skills that need an overhaul. Knowing what is meant for me and what is not.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Excellent advice. I had my toughest weekend a couple weeks ago. Bunch of triggers, but I made the mistake of entertaining the idea of a few drinks. It niggled at me for 3 days. And I was exhausted come Sunday. It was amazing to me quite honestly.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
"That makes every single thing in the world a potential trigger."
I'm not so sure I agree with this statement Soberlicious. Not for me at least. For instance, I'm not being triggered when I'm having a cup of tea or working out. My triggers are two fold, there are those that come at times when I've been conditioned to drink...social events, dinner out with DH, home alone, day off w/DH, after a long day of skiing, summer BBQ, sitting in the sun at the beach, at the end of a work day... I suppose everything we do as part of our daily routine and life that involves alcohol will ignite a trigger. It's like when I quit smoking, I had to experience everything that I used to do with a cigarette...without one.
But then there are the unexpected triggers: death in the family, losing control of a situation, fear, unexpected health issues, broken trust, infidelity, loss of a job or business...those are the triggers that are the hardest for me to overcome. It's not like I can just wait for them to pass and move on. They're long lasting, and the pain runs deep.
Sorry for the ramble...
I'm not so sure I agree with this statement Soberlicious. Not for me at least. For instance, I'm not being triggered when I'm having a cup of tea or working out. My triggers are two fold, there are those that come at times when I've been conditioned to drink...social events, dinner out with DH, home alone, day off w/DH, after a long day of skiing, summer BBQ, sitting in the sun at the beach, at the end of a work day... I suppose everything we do as part of our daily routine and life that involves alcohol will ignite a trigger. It's like when I quit smoking, I had to experience everything that I used to do with a cigarette...without one.
But then there are the unexpected triggers: death in the family, losing control of a situation, fear, unexpected health issues, broken trust, infidelity, loss of a job or business...those are the triggers that are the hardest for me to overcome. It's not like I can just wait for them to pass and move on. They're long lasting, and the pain runs deep.
Sorry for the ramble...
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by CreativeThinker
I'm not so sure I agree with this statement Soberlicious.
Things that you mentioned like death, loss, fear etc are horribly challenging events that every human experiences in some form or another. They will come to me in varying degrees of intensity throughout my life, as is true with all of us. Those aren't triggers to drink, they are difficult life experiences that we all experience (formerly addicted or not). Events can and will create feelings of intense discomfortable, anxiety, gutwrenching despair, but what I will do with all of that depends on how I frame the events. If I listen to my AV, then all of those things are valid reasons for drinking. If I listen to ME, then none of those things are valid reasons for drinking. The event remains identical either way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by soberlicious
I said potential trigger...meaning that my mind can potentially take anything and twist it.
Things that you mentioned like death, loss, fear etc are horribly challenging events that every human experiences in some form or another. They will come to me in varying degrees of intensity throughout my life, as is true with all of us. Those aren't triggers to drink, they are difficult life experiences that we all experience (formerly addicted or not). Events can and will create feelings of intense discomfortable, anxiety, gutwrenching despair, but what I will do with all of that depends on how I frame the events. If I listen to my AV, then all of those things are valid reasons for drinking. If I listen to ME, then none of those things are valid reasons for drinking. The event remains identical either way.
Things that you mentioned like death, loss, fear etc are horribly challenging events that every human experiences in some form or another. They will come to me in varying degrees of intensity throughout my life, as is true with all of us. Those aren't triggers to drink, they are difficult life experiences that we all experience (formerly addicted or not). Events can and will create feelings of intense discomfortable, anxiety, gutwrenching despair, but what I will do with all of that depends on how I frame the events. If I listen to my AV, then all of those things are valid reasons for drinking. If I listen to ME, then none of those things are valid reasons for drinking. The event remains identical either way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 125
I wish I could isolate what my triggers are. I am slightly type A and a little OCD.
I have a schedule and any deviation from it is a stressor. I accept fluidity in others (I still have pre-college age teenagers at home) but must be rigid when it comes to myself.
When I went for my check up my doctor (who is aware of everything) offered me Xanax. Like I need to trade one problem for another. Or he suggested that maybe I teach a class at the local college over the summer to funnel my energy. I told him I would think about it politely. What I was really thinking was "Are you kidding me, I would get upset if someones penmanship wasn't up to par right now" I'm convinced life is a trigger. It is exhausting always being on guard. Others that are wiser have wrote that it gets easier. I'm going to practice that breathing technique I learned about on Dee's thread.
I have a schedule and any deviation from it is a stressor. I accept fluidity in others (I still have pre-college age teenagers at home) but must be rigid when it comes to myself.
When I went for my check up my doctor (who is aware of everything) offered me Xanax. Like I need to trade one problem for another. Or he suggested that maybe I teach a class at the local college over the summer to funnel my energy. I told him I would think about it politely. What I was really thinking was "Are you kidding me, I would get upset if someones penmanship wasn't up to par right now" I'm convinced life is a trigger. It is exhausting always being on guard. Others that are wiser have wrote that it gets easier. I'm going to practice that breathing technique I learned about on Dee's thread.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I don't think I could handle triggers, confronting them, avoiding them, seeing them around , knowing they'd always be around popping up, finding new ones.
I've decided instead to never drink again and not change my mind. When I thought about what that means and how to 'live' that decision I realized that the concept of a trigger was all AV , not me. I don't have triggers because of my decision(Big Plan).
The idea of triggers , is kind of like the often used phrase I've seen here "relapses aren't part of recovery, they are a part of addiction'
Life is going to bring highs and lows and everything in between, removing the consumption of alcohol from your life is a choice anyone can make. Accepting the notion that drinking can be triggered means we believe the lie of the AV that says making that choice isn't possible.
I've decided instead to never drink again and not change my mind. When I thought about what that means and how to 'live' that decision I realized that the concept of a trigger was all AV , not me. I don't have triggers because of my decision(Big Plan).
The idea of triggers , is kind of like the often used phrase I've seen here "relapses aren't part of recovery, they are a part of addiction'
Life is going to bring highs and lows and everything in between, removing the consumption of alcohol from your life is a choice anyone can make. Accepting the notion that drinking can be triggered means we believe the lie of the AV that says making that choice isn't possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by August252015
I don't believe in triggers. I think the word- like "slip"- shifts the focus from our choice, and the daily maintenance of a spiritual condition that keeps the problem removed.
life happening around us is not a 'trigger'. 'trigger' is a choice. life happens. we get to choose our response. even choosing to remain on autopilot is a choice.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^^^Yes. I think I posted largely because I believe our word choice is very important. How we frame things becomes our mental mantra, so to speak, and using negative/provocative words like "trigger" focus us on risky (and unnecessary) ideas.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
yep, I agree.
The notion of a 'trigger' itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean hey, we're humans. Humans experience things and in response to those experiences, we FEEL things, we THINK things, we RESPOND to things. So in that sense, the world can be seen to 'trigger' us.
But we mustn't forget that - as humans - we also have the ability to be conscious of how the world's experiences effect us. We have the ability to notice our thoughts and our feelings and to choose what to do in response.
There's a subtle yet absolutely huge difference between seeing "triggers" as things that somehow set off an uncontrollable series of events that we are victims to - and seeing "triggers" simply as events in the external world to which we have a choice of how we respond.
The notion of a 'trigger' itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean hey, we're humans. Humans experience things and in response to those experiences, we FEEL things, we THINK things, we RESPOND to things. So in that sense, the world can be seen to 'trigger' us.
But we mustn't forget that - as humans - we also have the ability to be conscious of how the world's experiences effect us. We have the ability to notice our thoughts and our feelings and to choose what to do in response.
There's a subtle yet absolutely huge difference between seeing "triggers" as things that somehow set off an uncontrollable series of events that we are victims to - and seeing "triggers" simply as events in the external world to which we have a choice of how we respond.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
