Don't know what to do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 20
Don't know what to do
I know drinking is my problem ...I went to an AA meeting three weeks ago and two addition counselor sessions. I think I'm so go at rationalizing that I fooled my counselor. He told me I seem to have thing under control ...maybe I just don't want to admit I can't habdel this on my own! I don't know how to move forward I feel like I need a life coach to check on me everyday to help reinforce sobriety. I know I have a problem then think I stop drinking or cut back then I don't have a problem? Then I drink to much and the cycle just keeps repeating. Not sure what to do? Or how to be honest with myself to get the help I need and the support I need?
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by Cat37 
I don't know how to move forward I feel like I need a life coach to check on me everyday to help reinforce sobriety.
the job of my sponsor is to guide me thru the 12 steps which is where the actual recovery is
its my job to check in with my sponsor although sometimes he calls me
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR. Coming here is a great start.
Honesty is important. Integrity. The integrity to stick to your commitment to quit drinking. Anything that deviates from that, such as lying to others, lying to yourself, is just your addiction making sure alcohol doesn't lose it's grip on you.
Originally Posted by Cat37
Not sure what to do? Or how to be honest with myself to get the help I need and the support I need?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
If you are rationalizing, then you aren't accepting that you are an alcoholic.
I believe you must fully and completely accept that you are an alcoholic before you can find a path to recovery. Once you accept your addiction, you can look around here and see lots of plans and ideas for recovery.
I believe you must fully and completely accept that you are an alcoholic before you can find a path to recovery. Once you accept your addiction, you can look around here and see lots of plans and ideas for recovery.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
It was hard for me, too, Cat. I did everything I could to hold on to it & try to be a social drinker. Because I refused to face the truth, I went on drinking until my life was nearly destroyed. I'm glad you're here with us - talking about it helps relieve the anxiety. I know you can get free of it & have a better life without all the drama & uncertainty our drinking causes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 125
There are many trains of thought on alcohol. Addiction, disease, genetic, dependency, character flaw, and more. Which one is right I don't know. More to the point I quit caring which one is right. You read five different experts and you get five different answers. I gave up on trying to outsmart this thing. I prefer to think of it as an allergy. After all how can Joe Whatshisname down the street or in the office do it without consequences? Answer: He's not allergic. But I am.
You sound in need of advise. There's plenty here. I was sober 102 days before I found SR and trust me I searched, read, went to a meeting. Ordered books from Amazon, the whole bit. This is a great place to be if you want Good, non judgmental advise. AA wasn't my thing but it works fantastic for some. Whatever works for you is the best method as long as it keeps you sober.
Admitting that you need to stop is HUGE. I lied to myself for a long time.
From here it's just coming up with a game plan (which you can find on this site) and getting some advise / support along the way. Don't overthink it like I did.
You sound in need of advise. There's plenty here. I was sober 102 days before I found SR and trust me I searched, read, went to a meeting. Ordered books from Amazon, the whole bit. This is a great place to be if you want Good, non judgmental advise. AA wasn't my thing but it works fantastic for some. Whatever works for you is the best method as long as it keeps you sober.
Admitting that you need to stop is HUGE. I lied to myself for a long time.
From here it's just coming up with a game plan (which you can find on this site) and getting some advise / support along the way. Don't overthink it like I did.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
hi Cat
I think the way to acceptance comes from shouldering the responsibility for our own recovery, not looking to others to do the work we should be doing.
Others can help of course but we need to do the heavy lifting.
You have everything at your disposal to quit drinking today for good.
I understand that fear of change can be paralysing..but look around.
Would any of us be sober if it wasn't worth the effort?
D
I think the way to acceptance comes from shouldering the responsibility for our own recovery, not looking to others to do the work we should be doing.
Others can help of course but we need to do the heavy lifting.
You have everything at your disposal to quit drinking today for good.
I understand that fear of change can be paralysing..but look around.
Would any of us be sober if it wasn't worth the effort?
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Honesty is so important. Denial is a fierce thing. Stubborn. I think you know it's a problem. Now, what to do about it? There are a lot of factors that contribute to addiction. But, in my mind, any substance that crosses the blood-brain barrier alters brain chemistry. Even if we perceive it is only a temporary alteration and 'wears off'. It messes with our brains; thinking. It contributes to depression, irritability, anxiety, stress, insomnia, unclear thinking; not to mention what it does to our bodies. You know all this, and I sense are coming to terms with it and want to stop. You CAN. Yes, being held accountable is very important.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by Alan6154
There are many trains of thought on alcohol. Addiction, disease, genetic, dependency, character flaw, and more. Which one is right I don't know. More to the point I quit caring which one is right. You read five different experts and you get five different answers. I gave up on trying to outsmart this thing. I prefer to think of it as an allergy. After all how can Joe Whatshisname down the street or in the office do it without consequences? Answer: He's not allergic. But I am.
You sound in need of advise. There's plenty here. I was sober 102 days before I found SR and trust me I searched, read, went to a meeting. Ordered books from Amazon, the whole bit. This is a great place to be if you want Good, non judgmental advise. AA wasn't my thing but it works fantastic for some. Whatever works for you is the best method as long as it keeps you sober.
Admitting that you need to stop is HUGE. I lied to myself for a long time.
From here it's just coming up with a game plan (which you can find on this site) and getting some advise / support along the way. Don't overthink it like I did.
You sound in need of advise. There's plenty here. I was sober 102 days before I found SR and trust me I searched, read, went to a meeting. Ordered books from Amazon, the whole bit. This is a great place to be if you want Good, non judgmental advise. AA wasn't my thing but it works fantastic for some. Whatever works for you is the best method as long as it keeps you sober.
Admitting that you need to stop is HUGE. I lied to myself for a long time.
From here it's just coming up with a game plan (which you can find on this site) and getting some advise / support along the way. Don't overthink it like I did.
Thanks this totally makes sense
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by teatreeoil007
Honesty is so important. Denial is a fierce thing. Stubborn. I think you know it's a problem. Now, what to do about it? There are a lot of factors that contribute to addiction. But, in my mind, any substance that crosses the blood-brain barrier alters brain chemistry. Even if we perceive it is only a temporary alteration and 'wears off'. It messes with our brains; thinking. It contributes to depression, irritability, anxiety, stress, insomnia, unclear thinking; not to mention what it does to our bodies. You know all this, and I sense are coming to terms with it and want to stop. You CAN. Yes, being held accountable is very important.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: NH
Posts: 374
Hello 
I tried for over twenty years to convince myself I could go back to being a "normal" drinker. I tried this even though there was a huge amount of evidence that this was impossible. Ultimately it was completely futile to try to 'moderate"; I was initially just playing games and latterly bargaining with my addiction.
If you have come to the conclusion that you can't control your drinking, then it is time to quit. The fact is you can control your drinking, by not drinking at all.
Breaking an addiction is difficult, but you do know what to do.
Of course, support is great and you will find lots of that here. Lots of others will have great suggestions, I am sure. But don't lose sight of the fact that you have the power to simply not drink.
I tried for over twenty years to convince myself I could go back to being a "normal" drinker. I tried this even though there was a huge amount of evidence that this was impossible. Ultimately it was completely futile to try to 'moderate"; I was initially just playing games and latterly bargaining with my addiction.
If you have come to the conclusion that you can't control your drinking, then it is time to quit. The fact is you can control your drinking, by not drinking at all.
Breaking an addiction is difficult, but you do know what to do.
Of course, support is great and you will find lots of that here. Lots of others will have great suggestions, I am sure. But don't lose sight of the fact that you have the power to simply not drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
I don't know much, but if you are still trying to outsmart your drinking then you haven't embraced step #1. Until you believe, not know you have a problem that you are powerless over and have hit that helpless realization that that alcohol is a thief, not a friend, at some point you will welcome it back. Alcohol steals life, friends, self esteem, money, memories, hope, family, and only brings tears and shame. Stay strong, commit, believe and surround yourself with support.
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