CherylG

I had an incident Sunday that is eating away at my serenity and am wondering if anyone can ease my mind. I was asked to find some papers in the house that Ed left and supposedly needs to find employment. I found them on Friday night, but knew if I called him with that info I would make a fool of myself, but knew he really wanted the papers. (The reason I am so mad is he lost his job due to his drinking in October so I have received no child support for 3 teens and things are getting a little rough. His sister is now enabling him. I knew when I stood up I would have to be prepared to lose everything, but I feel like a mother lion trying to protect her young.) Anyway, I did blow up at him and now I feel like I have gone back to the start of my recovery. Has anyone else had set backs like this? Just curious. Cheryl

ladyammons

Cheryl, I wouldn't beat myself up over it. It's hard when you have to support children. A upset mother lion w/cubs is a terrible thing to have to deal with. You are human ... just get that serenity back, sweetie.
Maryalice

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Cheryl...
I wouldn't exactly call it a set back... only a sympton that you're not quite done healing. Blowups happen... it's not a big deal and it's not sending you back to square one.
D'ya wanna borrow my nerf bat?

Smoke

CherylG

Thanks guys! The nerf bat sure beats the frying pan I had in mind.

CherylG

My Dad used to take me to the driving range occasionally. One night he had me hitting balls until I had blisters on my hands. When I got a little older it dawned on me that was one of the few times he was mad at my Mom and we were there releasing his way. I should try it again and this time take my son who loves the driving range. Thanks for the advice.

Sally

Hi Cheryl I hear you... Iam in recovery also, Iam affraid Iam not as far along as you. Congratulations for taking the big step.
I have been standing on the step for three yrs. He was out, now he's back,
he's in recovery, and just having him around had clouded my head again.
tonight is his first bussiness trip out of town. He's only been in recovery for 8 wks,
and although thats great. Tonight i'm having those old obbsesive thougts....I haven't heard from him...He doesn't answer his cell phone...or hotel rm. phone...He called early this afternoon and told my son where he would be staying and what the rm. no. was.
and that he would be out for a while. I started to obsess.....then I pulled my self out of it a little. Iam so tired of dealing with it...
I want to block him out....out of my mind ,,
out of my life...but he just wont go away.. not easily anyway.
regards Sally

CherylG

Well, after blowing up at my A about a little financial support he brought over a couple bags of groceries. I don't want to get down and kiss butt because he SHOULD be paying child support and standing up to be a man. Says he hasn't drank since the new year, but in reality that is only 11 days. On top of that my 15 year old daughter heard me on the phone and I have been apologizing to her since, but then after he brought the care package I was tucking her in bed and she commented that my yelling worked. I don't want her to think like that. I'm just really confused lately. Thanks for listening.

sssalas

Hi, my heart hurts for what you are going through, and I feel that you do have every right to be angry. What I try to do under similar circomstances is to detach myself emotionally from him as a wife, and look, and talk to him, as if he were my son, so that I would try to maintain a rational perspective, walking the fine line of trying not to let my anger get the best of me. I also try to maintain a very low expectations of him, so that I won't be dissapointed, by his what seems to be delberate lack of responsibility. Good Luck!!!!!!!