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Being honest with people who ask "when are we next going on a night out?"



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Being honest with people who ask "when are we next going on a night out?"

Old 03-28-2017, 04:48 PM
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Being honest with people who ask "when are we next going on a night out?"

Ok so as a young mum with a lot of young mum friends i often meet friends for drinks approx once ortwice a month. I havent confided in anyone that ive planned on quitting as i dont want to appear the party pooper, i dont want to be accused of being pregnant or boring or whatever. But i am not ready or not willing to disclose personal stuff just yet as ive only just admitted this to myself and only joined this lovely forum yesterday. I have declined a night out this coming saturday but i know one other friend wants a night out in april. Im thinking of just either taking the car or just telling her i wont be drinking as i want to lose a few pounds. What are everyones experiences or thoughts? Thanks in advance for responses
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:54 PM
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I'm struggling with this too. I've declined a few invitations lately. I know my girlfriends will think I'm pregnant ( I look it lately too lol). I'm going to go with the "health kick" excuse. I'm not ready to discuss my drinking problem with people.
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:56 PM
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Is drinking the whole purpose of the outing? Can you suggest another venue? You can always say you stopped drinking for your health, cause that would be true.
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:58 PM
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I just told people I wasn't drinking for health reasons. After a few times they just accept I'm not drinking anymore and don't even ask about it. I don't think they even notice or think about it anymore.
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:58 PM
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Just tell people you don't feel like going, which is a true statement. Or perhaps suggest meeting at a coffee shop or somewhere else that alcohol is not the main attraction. Your true friends will support your decision to quit drinking when you do feel comfortable telling them.

Matt is right on too...most people don't care,, or even notice if someone is drinking or not. We ( alcohilcs ) are really the only one who obsess about it.
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Old 03-28-2017, 04:59 PM
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I'm with SoberNunn. I've been telling friends that I'm detoxing for summer. Feel like that should give me a good amount of time to use as an excuse. I'm going to be very careful with who I eventually share my recovery with. Would hate to make any big declarations and then not be able to follow through. I figure I'll start sharing with close friends when I have more time under my belt.
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Old 03-28-2017, 05:19 PM
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Those are sensible replies. Thank u for your suggestions xx
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Old 03-28-2017, 05:40 PM
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When I tell people I've stopped drinking some of them assume I'm pregnant so I totally get how annoying that is! I just told everyone I'm trying to get healthy and loose weight and have only had really one friend who was kind of bummed . You might be suprised how many accept and follow suit as well!
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Old 03-28-2017, 05:59 PM
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The sooner you can be honest about it the sooner you'll actually get sober and start living a rich and cherished sober life.

Trying to hide it and invent cover stories or half truths and still participate in drink-oriented activities never really worked for me, and I've never seen it work sustainably for anyone else.
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Old 03-28-2017, 06:39 PM
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When you do finally tell them, it probably will not be a big thing.

When I came out as an addict to my friends, we started going out to coffee shops instead of bars, and there were a lot more non-alcoholic beverages at parties in their homes.

I finally had to tell them that I was okay if they drank in front of me or wanted to go to a bar. But I was really touched that they wanted to help me.

Drinking is not as big a deal for most people as it is for us.
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