Auburnnole

Happy to be here. Kicked cigs but cannot kick drinking. Have a beautiful wife and 2 year old son. Have a new home and cars but came from a lot of drinking in college. It is my escape from work when I get home. Recently had an ultrasound and ct scan and they say my liver is ok but I do have gallbladder issues. I want to cut back on drinking to a social level. Right now I drink roughly 15-20 drinks a week. I rarely take a day off. Typically I drink 1-2 on work nights and a few more on the weekend. If its in the house I drink it but if its not I dont. I will drink a 750 ml of vodka in 3 days if its here but I dont run to the store if its not in the house. I am a habit forming person I dont really drink to get drunk. I eat super healthy but drinking is my vice. I have tried a lot of books and audio cds but nothing has kicked his habit yet. I am having digestive issues and know if I continue to drink if could become a major problem down the road. Going to read in here and see if I can kick this habit. Any advice or suggestions would be awesome and I hope to help others as well while I am here.

Hevyn

I'm really glad you found us, Auburnnole. It's good you're being honest about your consumption & what it may cause in the future.

For me, social drinking never worked. I tried very hard to control the amounts I drank - but over the years I became dependent on it. I wish I'd paid attention to the warning signs of trouble when I was young. Good to have you with us!

Congrats on quitting smoking.

CreativeThinker

Welcome Auburnole!

Anna

Moderated/social drinking doesn't work for alcoholics. I think you would find that most, if not all of us here, have tried and failed at moderated drinking. I actually found it easier to stop drinking and to finally stop obsessing about drinking. It was a relief. I hope you decide to join us.

fini

welcome, Auburnnole,

what's your thought on why you haven't been able to do the cutting back you want to do?
and what have you tried so far that hasn't worked?

Auburnnole

Not really sure. I have tried buying smaller amounts, non-alcoholic beers and multiple audio how to quit programs. I feel its purely habit. I can become addicted to spinach in the same way as alcohol. I do not know stopping completely works for me because I like to have the freedom of making a choice. If I stop completely it seems to make matters worse. I am so concerned on my health because I lost my sister at a young age yet I continue to drink knowing the health problems that can arise. Instead I should be happy my health is still good and use this as a reason to stop. I did recently go almost two weeks with no hard liqour and it was not a big deal. Then on the superbowl it started up again as it was available.

PhoenixJ

The is stuff in the Sticky's about doing stuff differently. PLANNING sobriety instead of doing the wash- repeat bit with will power, hoping and luck. A way to change thinking and behaviour- to be proactive.

LoveHateMerlot

Hi Auburnnole! You came to an amazing place here! This online community has really helped me the past 12 days he sober. I think you will find the majority of our situations are very similar to yours. We all want to keep drinking, so we desperately find excuses. We could all drink only one, too, sometimes, but if it's becoming problematic it may get to a point you just can't stop. It begins to show its ugly head in your life, pretty soon it takes over. Stick around, read new posts in Newcomers thread, many are alike. xoxoxo

PhoenixJ

Aub- hi and welcome. Thanks for the honest share. Awareness is great. For me effective long term changes- like not drinking ever again came with informed, proactive and planned decisions/actions.
So a sobriety plan(stuff on stickjy's), AA and or SMART, a doc for physical stuff, a counsellor for the reasons why I drank and to change my behaviour. A professional guide who helps me- as obviously up till I stopped drinking- I had no idea where I was going. Will power and 'hoping for the best' does not work for most, in my experience.
Keep looking/posting. Perhaps join the 'Class of March 2017' thread? Support to you. PJ

Dee74

Hi auburnnole

I felt for a long long time my drinking was a bad habit too - I was in a bad patch, I was stressed, I was 'plating hard' after working hard...before I knew it 20 years had gone by.

I think it is more than a habit. I never crave chocolate for example or get angry when I don't have any.

I never plan my evening around how soon I can eat chocolate once everyone else goes to bed.

I never forget my evenings after half a bar of Cadburys or or do stupid bad or ridiculous things under the influence of chocolate.

So, yeah - it's more than a bad habit for me.

I never was able to cut back- ever, not for any real amount of time. My relationship with alcohol was disfunctional and toxic.

Not drinking at all has worked wonderfully for me.
I love the life I've built sober.

However scary that no alcohol ever idea might be, I thoroughly recommend it.

D

fini

yes, Auburnnole, i liked the freedom to make a choice, too.
what took me ages to see was that i seemed to have a rather impaired freedom to choose NOT to.
meaning: i'd decide not to and then couldn't stick to it.

you might be different.

possibly you are addicted? i am not clear on what you mean by "purely habit"...but if it is a habit, i do think there are all kinds of techniques known on how to break or alter habits.

"it started up again"...yes, it feels that way, doesn't it. though the truth is that you started again.

booze is and will always be available, so you will need something other than non-availability to help you out there.

stick around.

JoeCree

Lovin that Chocolate analogy Dee. Ive not heard you put it that way before. Nobody ever yelled at their wife to get them a kit kat from the fridge. Lol

Grymt

it is very much a habit.

It's a habitual reaction to pleasant and unpleasant sensations. The fact that this habit is deeply ingrained doesn't make it different from softer habits. In fact the habitual separation of soft and hard habits hampers the resolution of the harder habits. If the habit is to regard reactions to soft habits as harmless, a grey area is created when it comes to responding to a moderately hard habits and so on to very hard habits. It's all the same in the end. A wrong habitual reaction to unpleasant or pleasant sensations exacerbates the underlying problem. A correct reaction always bolsters across the board the correct habitual response to the sensations.

The only situation where I can see a temporary truce regarding soft habits is in the process of trying to stop drinking. Some of these deeper truths can only be accessed and addressed when sober. Therefore achieving sobriety is paramount and if that means surrendering to relatively harmless chocolate habits then so be it.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Delilah1

Welcome to SR! I am another one who attempted moderation and failed miserably. However, I was stubborn, so when it didn't work the first time, I tried again a few dozen more times, same darn result.

I have 15 months of sobriety thanks to this site, and following Dee's wise advice about a plan.

I have found it much easier to remain sober, than I did trying to moderate the amount I was drinking. I have found so many benefits to sobriety, weight loss, skin tone, mental clarity, and being more present in every aspect of my life.

Spend some time reading around, looking forward to seeing you on SR!

Auburnnole

I will check out the stickies. I appreciate all of the support. Today I didnt drink at all. I went for a walk, drank some lemon water and played with my son after work.