Forward Motions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Forward Motions
My active alcoholism has always sent me into crisis mode. After a few days the crisis will subside and I then experience the relief of getting of the crazy train. Im in that relief now.
Im moving into the second decade of dealing with this disease and quite frankly its so damn tiring to see the destruction and self sabotage. I just cant do it anymore. My life is not meant to be sabotaged.
I woke up early and was so damn happy to not be hungover. My sleep is getting better. Im emotionally feeling better with each day and I see that I am moving forward.
I talked with H last night about all the measures I am taking and the absolute necessity to stay off the alcohol. I need to protect myself and this family needs protection from alcoholism. If I continue to drink it is imperative that I leave the home as I cannot continue to be a wife, parent and friend while actively engaging in alcoholism. This is the line that I have drawn for the health of everyone. When I drink, I drink. I dont cook. I dont participate. I drink. This is not who I am meant to be in the world or in a marriage. I deserve better. We deserve better.
Even though Ive been at this stage a million times, I will never give up fighting for my life.
Its a good start today.
Thanks for being here. I need the support.
Lets make this day amazing!
Im moving into the second decade of dealing with this disease and quite frankly its so damn tiring to see the destruction and self sabotage. I just cant do it anymore. My life is not meant to be sabotaged.
I woke up early and was so damn happy to not be hungover. My sleep is getting better. Im emotionally feeling better with each day and I see that I am moving forward.
I talked with H last night about all the measures I am taking and the absolute necessity to stay off the alcohol. I need to protect myself and this family needs protection from alcoholism. If I continue to drink it is imperative that I leave the home as I cannot continue to be a wife, parent and friend while actively engaging in alcoholism. This is the line that I have drawn for the health of everyone. When I drink, I drink. I dont cook. I dont participate. I drink. This is not who I am meant to be in the world or in a marriage. I deserve better. We deserve better.
Even though Ive been at this stage a million times, I will never give up fighting for my life.
Its a good start today.
Thanks for being here. I need the support.
Lets make this day amazing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Still sober. The Unicorn on the Rainbow cloud who posted this morning turned into a three headed Dragon by 4:30 pm. Hanger. Lots of Hanger. I notice with the hanger there are thoughts of drinking. Needless to say my mind was taken over by monsters until I properly nourished myself. After a good meal, a bath and a cup of chamomile, I made it safely into my bed. 30 min of pure torture that was.
Gotta remember to get enough fuel. I aint go no time to be going wayside. ( I had just eaten an hour prior?!) anyways.....
Gotta remember to get enough fuel. I aint go no time to be going wayside. ( I had just eaten an hour prior?!) anyways.....
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