Trying to pluck up the courage to go to my first meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 37
Trying to pluck up the courage to go to my first meeting
I am just 4 days sober after a 5 week drunk. I'm feeling pretty good considering. I felt really low when I was on my drunk. I have been to counselling and that didn't work. Counselling just opened up wounds from years ago that I had already dealt with. I have been taking antabuse on and off for 3 years. I will take them for 2 months and feel great then my av tells me it's OK to drink then we all know how that ends up. I have learned a lot about aa recently the first drink and obsession of the mind and allergy of the body. This makes so much sense to me.
I just fell it will be really hard going to a meeting where I probably won't know anyone and I don't know what to say???
I just fell it will be really hard going to a meeting where I probably won't know anyone and I don't know what to say???
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
call your local AA hotline
most (bigger) cities are answered 24 hrs
before i was sober i called drunk just to find out what aa is and is not
for me aa is like a big fun social club with a common purpose of staying sober
we had our annual chili cookoff last weekend
most (bigger) cities are answered 24 hrs
before i was sober i called drunk just to find out what aa is and is not
for me aa is like a big fun social club with a common purpose of staying sober
we had our annual chili cookoff last weekend
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Hi Big P.
I've never, ever in my life been more apprehensive and fearful than I was on the evening I walked in to my first AA meeting.
What I frequently reflect on now, is that in any one AA meeting, there are more people there who understand me, without judging, than the sum total of family, dear friends and acquaintances I have accumulated over the years.
This is a huge support to me, and good to know and remember when times get tough.
Please go.
Best Wishes
Fradley.
I've never, ever in my life been more apprehensive and fearful than I was on the evening I walked in to my first AA meeting.
What I frequently reflect on now, is that in any one AA meeting, there are more people there who understand me, without judging, than the sum total of family, dear friends and acquaintances I have accumulated over the years.
This is a huge support to me, and good to know and remember when times get tough.
Please go.
Best Wishes
Fradley.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I had this same fear!! And someone told me to just do it! So I did. And now I go about 3-4 times a week. Am I comfortable? Not all the time but it is getting better and the people there just get me. You can do it! It is better than the alternative right?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
Hi BigP, I hope that you do whatever it takes for you to stay sober. If you think AA might work, then give it a try. Following is a link with lots of ideas and plans for your recovery:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
When I went to my first meeting I hung back and sat in the back and I think just exchanged pleasantries with a couple of souls who dared brave my stony looks.
In time I started to be more in the meetings. People will respect your need for space and understand. Being there and listening is good enough. You can just allow yourself to feel all and let go of the apprehension in a safe space. Remember a lot is about changing habits. Here while at the meeting you're not drinking for an hour or so and instead making sobriety the focus. How you feel about doing that is kinda the point of the exercise. Think of the uncomfortable ness as the toxins from booze leaving you. Let it do so.
In time I started to be more in the meetings. People will respect your need for space and understand. Being there and listening is good enough. You can just allow yourself to feel all and let go of the apprehension in a safe space. Remember a lot is about changing habits. Here while at the meeting you're not drinking for an hour or so and instead making sobriety the focus. How you feel about doing that is kinda the point of the exercise. Think of the uncomfortable ness as the toxins from booze leaving you. Let it do so.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 37
Thanks for the support guys. Am working in the evening over the weekend but I'm of on Sunday night. I have downloaded an app with all my local meetings. I have found a local meeting at 8pm on Sunday so am going to do it . I've tried everything else and I'm prepared to do anything I need to to stay sober. I will post back on here after the meeting to let you's know how it was. Thanks again 👍
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
You don't need to say ANYTHING. You can just go and listen.
That being said, I would suggest that you say that it's your first meeting at the first opportunity. This can help enormously as people will then know EXACTLY where you are coming from.
That being said, I would suggest that you say that it's your first meeting at the first opportunity. This can help enormously as people will then know EXACTLY where you are coming from.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Some of nicest, coolest, understanding, kind people I have ever met are the people I met in AA.
Please go.
You don't have to explain why you are there, everyone is there for the same reason.
You don't have to talk, you can just listen if thats what you would prefer.
No-one will judge.
Every single person in that meeting will have been a newcomer at one point in their life.
Newcomers are welcomed and looked after.
They understand how it feels to be new and the courage it takes to go to AA.
I was the same.
Now I like going to different meetings just to meet with AA people I have never met before.
There is nothing to be frightened of or apprehensive about.
Will you let me know how it goes?
I wish you the best xx
Please go.
You don't have to explain why you are there, everyone is there for the same reason.
You don't have to talk, you can just listen if thats what you would prefer.
No-one will judge.
Every single person in that meeting will have been a newcomer at one point in their life.
Newcomers are welcomed and looked after.
They understand how it feels to be new and the courage it takes to go to AA.
I was the same.
Now I like going to different meetings just to meet with AA people I have never met before.
There is nothing to be frightened of or apprehensive about.
Will you let me know how it goes?
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by BigP 
Thanks for the support guys. Am working in the evening over the weekend but I'm of on Sunday night. I have downloaded an app with all my local meetings. I have found a local meeting at 8pm on Sunday so am going to do it . I've tried everything else and I'm prepared to do anything I need to to stay sober. I will post back on here after the meeting to let you's know how it was. Thanks again 👍
took me a lot of courage to walk into my 1st meeting. only reason I knew one person there was because I remembered him from when I was court ordered.
only think I could say was ,"im tom im an alcoholic and I cant take it any more."
I didn't have to say anything else- those people knew right where I was- they encouraged me to keep comin back and read the big book. so I kept going back, read the big book, and started following the suggestions.
that was back in 2005. still sober today and have a pretty darn good life to boot.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by Sasha4
Some of nicest, coolest, understanding, kind people I have ever met are the people I met in AA.
Please go.
You don't have to explain why you are there, everyone is there for the same reason.
You don't have to talk, you can just listen if thats what you would prefer.
No-one will judge.
Every single person in that meeting will have been a newcomer at one point in their life.
Newcomers are welcomed and looked after.
They understand how it feels to be new and the courage it takes to go to AA.
I was the same.
Now I like going to different meetings just to meet with AA people I have never met before.
There is nothing to be frightened of or apprehensive about.
Will you let me know how it goes?
I wish you the best xx
Please go.
You don't have to explain why you are there, everyone is there for the same reason.
You don't have to talk, you can just listen if thats what you would prefer.
No-one will judge.
Every single person in that meeting will have been a newcomer at one point in their life.
Newcomers are welcomed and looked after.
They understand how it feels to be new and the courage it takes to go to AA.
I was the same.
Now I like going to different meetings just to meet with AA people I have never met before.
There is nothing to be frightened of or apprehensive about.
Will you let me know how it goes?
I wish you the best xx
Thanks for the advice and of course I'll let you know how I get on. I'll post back on this thread when I've been xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 216
BigP, I have no intention of trying to reassure you or tell you what it'll be like because I don't know you or the people in the meeting Sunday night.
I can tell you this with some certainty: show up and the rest is likely to take care of itself; don't show up and you already know what you'll get sooner or later.
The old AA saying is "Ninety percent of life is just showing up."
I can tell you this with some certainty: show up and the rest is likely to take care of itself; don't show up and you already know what you'll get sooner or later.
The old AA saying is "Ninety percent of life is just showing up."
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kampala, Uganda
Posts: 327
I'm headed out now to my 2nd AA meeting. Interestingly, once I had admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic, I stopped being ashamed or fearful about it. I realize that it's really a widespread problem and NOT getting help for it is what should be frowned upon. When you're really trying to change for the better, you're more than likely to receive a lot of support and applause. I was even able to share at my first meeting. So give it a try, BigP.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by BigP
then my av tells me it's OK to drink then we all know how that ends up.
My AV tells me its OK to drink all the time. That doesn't magically go away once you make a commitment to sobriety. My AV was never the problem. Me believing my AV had power over my decisions was the problem.
Enjoy your meeting!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
shhh, nobody tell BigP about that vat of boiling oil that they throw the newcomers in!
a bit of levity. a meeting is just a bunch of sober folk sitting around talking, in a slightly formal structure. you can just sit and listen. you don't HAVE to say a word. if you get there a bit early, you can sit in the parking lot and observe the people going in. they'll be a surprisingly ORDINARY looking bunch.....
funny, how many of us walked into a new bar we'd never been to before without so much as a second thought. or a liquor store, 7-11. the "fear" is just the AV trying to keep you from getting near sobriety and a better, alcohol-free life.
a bit of levity. a meeting is just a bunch of sober folk sitting around talking, in a slightly formal structure. you can just sit and listen. you don't HAVE to say a word. if you get there a bit early, you can sit in the parking lot and observe the people going in. they'll be a surprisingly ORDINARY looking bunch.....
funny, how many of us walked into a new bar we'd never been to before without so much as a second thought. or a liquor store, 7-11. the "fear" is just the AV trying to keep you from getting near sobriety and a better, alcohol-free life.
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