My New Imaginary House
My New Imaginary House
Today I had a tricky hour. I got myself all excited over a house I found online that I could totally foresee myself purchasing. That was the extent of the trigger and my mind went straight to figuring out what colors I would paint it and what furniture I'd buy and all I wanted was to get some alcohol and "celebrate" but literally there was nothing to celebrate. It's not like I had just gone through a months long buying process and was handed the keys. I just looked at the pictures and thought, yes, that should be mine and I must drink. I was so angry when I realized I couldn't drink and then more angry at myself for being so naive and silly. It helped to do some breathing exercises and I tried to play the tape forward but that strategy wasn't working today. It was a get through the next 10 minutes kind of afternoon. Settled in for the night now and did not drink and realize the house was just a lazy excuse to try and tell myself it'd be OK to imbibe. And it's not. Chuck 1, AV 0.
Chuck - I remember having that reaction quite a bit in the early days. I didn't think I'd ever stop thinking of it as a way to cope or celebrate. One day I realized it hadn't even crossed my mind for a very long time. That day will come. You are neither naive or silly - you're newly sober and learning to live in a different way. Proud of you.
I have a relaxation strategy that visualizes a special house that I've designed. It's in the woods, a kind of cave underground house. It's fun to go there thru the secluded path, to the rustic entrance , to a vaulted room with a warm fireplace, a snuggly sofa with cushions and warm coverlets!
It sounds like you are a creative thinker. You might enjoy this relaxation technique.
It sounds like you are a creative thinker. You might enjoy this relaxation technique.
Thanks friends! I only spent half my work day ogling the pictures today but did not have the same reaction as yesterday, there wasn't this immediate urge to get drunk. So that's good. I made a note of my behavior for any future similar reactions and how to manage it better.
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