bronzie

The AV....it wouldn't go away. I did so good all week long, having my herbal tea each night before bed. Then the last couple nights, I wasn't able to sleep very well. Then we had a nice sunny day, after a week of rain, which made me think I needed a beer or 2 (try 12). Ugh! I am so ridiculous! When will it ever stop? That awful voice inside telling me it will be okay to drink like a "normal" person. Had a Dr appt last Friday, and I am "healthy" just need to stop the bad habits and lose some weight. Well that's not gonna happen while drinking! I am ready to stop, I just need to overcome the cravings and AV. Drinking even once a week is not ok, because it's never ok for me. So anyways, I'm back again and still working on getting sober. I want it more than anything. I don't wanna fall into that same trap again!!!

SummerBee

Hi Bronzie. I am back again, totally understand how you are feeling and how rubbish relapsing makes you feel. Day 1 for me again. Lets do this. Good luck.

PhoenixJ

Good for you, keep posting

doggonecarl

Back on the 6th you wrote this. Did you ever get past the "thinking about" stage?

The first step of recovery is the decision to quit drinking. Every step after that is the work required to support that decision. If you aren't taking any action to further your sobriety, then you are bound to drink again.

bronzie

Than you SummerBee, and good luck to you as well. We can do this!

bronzie

I did go to the doctor last Friday, but I was too scared to bring up the drinking. I live in a small town, and The AA meetings are hard to get to with my toddler and my work schedule. I will go to the 11:30 meeting tomorrow morning before work.

Nonsensical

I became much more effective when I stopped trying to change that voice and instead changed how I reacted to that voice.

Soberlicious used a great analogy on me some years ago and I think it's worth repeating.

Imagine you were in a grocery store and a person walked up to you and said "Your shirt is on fire!"

You look down and can see your shirt is not on fire. No flames, no heat, no smoke.

Are you going to stand there and have a conversation with them about your shirt? If they follow you around the store saying your shirt is on fire, are you going to check it every time?

My AV has told me thousands of times next time will be different. My AV is a liar. 'Next time' will never be different.

I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life got a lot better. I highly recommend it.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back. I think heading to a meeting sounds like a great idea. Don't be ashamed or scared to share your questions with your doctor, they have heard it all and heard it many times - and they can help. Maybe you could join the class of March thread here too? It's helpful to have a peer group even if a virtual one.

bronzie

Thank you. I will do that.

bronzie

Awesome advice, and that's a great analogy. AV is a liar, I will definitely remember that! Thank you!