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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: England UK
Posts: 7
Thank you Creative Thinker! Its hard to know what to say to be honest, I am only 27 and I am totally ashamed of myself that I have let it become a problem. I thought I was a strong person and having nearly a whole family of alcoholics I swore that I would never let it take over my life like it did theirs, but now I have realised it has and the decisions I have made because of alcohol has ruined so many things in my life, I don't want to live like it anymore but I don't know if I have the strength to go through this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: England UK
Posts: 7
Thank you Grymt. Its nice to know that there are other people out there that are going through the same and can show support to one another. I feel alone in my struggle the majority of the time as I havnt admitted to any of my friends and family that I have a problem, although I think that a couple of people may have their suspicions but have not actually said anything.
I would like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders and there are so many things I want to achieve in life, I have my path set out in my head and I am trying my best to concentrate on my studies and work but my excessive binge drinking has just been causing me problem after problem in many situations, work, social, friends, relationships, money, my own mental health.
Its just so hard because I know what I want and what I should do but I have finlly admitted that the drink has got a hold of me, and I don't want that anymore. I just don't know what to do to stop.
I would like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders and there are so many things I want to achieve in life, I have my path set out in my head and I am trying my best to concentrate on my studies and work but my excessive binge drinking has just been causing me problem after problem in many situations, work, social, friends, relationships, money, my own mental health.
Its just so hard because I know what I want and what I should do but I have finlly admitted that the drink has got a hold of me, and I don't want that anymore. I just don't know what to do to stop.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome and you are definitely not alone. We do understand!
If you're not sure what to do to stop, you can get rid of the alcohol in your home and don't buy more. In the early days, it often helps to change routines. If there is a particular time of day when you drink, plan to be doing something else at that point. Shop at different stores and drive home via a different route. You can do this and you can be the person you want to be.
If you're not sure what to do to stop, you can get rid of the alcohol in your home and don't buy more. In the early days, it often helps to change routines. If there is a particular time of day when you drink, plan to be doing something else at that point. Shop at different stores and drive home via a different route. You can do this and you can be the person you want to be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: England UK
Posts: 7
Thank you for the advice Anna, I will take them on board. I have already poured all the drink away that I have in the house for a start and I am going to my first ever AA support group on Monday after work, which I am very nervous about but also determined at the same time that I am going.
I have so much admiration and respect for everyone in recovery and fighting their own struggles, I'm only on day one and it is very hard
I have so much admiration and respect for everyone in recovery and fighting their own struggles, I'm only on day one and it is very hard
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Well, yes. knowing how to quit seems to be a common question. Perhaps I got so used to it that I forget the early days. I just quit and faced whatever came which is a plethora of difficulties. Therefore. Read and talk and study ways to cope with sober life. Learn techniques like meditation, 12 stepping, AV, and many others various people use to stay sober. The most important thing is that in order to stop drinking you have to stop drinking and the best way to stop drinking is to not drink.
Then comes the hard part. Dealing with whatever a sober life brings. This is where a plan comes in useful. In order for the plan to work you have to not pick up the first drink. If you do drink you'll be plunged right back to where you left off and some people don't find their way back to the wagon for years if ever so don't pick up the first drink. For an alcoholic one drink is too many and 1000 is not enough. Come here or go to AA or reach out to sober people before ever picking up a drink and keep working your program. You can do this.
Then comes the hard part. Dealing with whatever a sober life brings. This is where a plan comes in useful. In order for the plan to work you have to not pick up the first drink. If you do drink you'll be plunged right back to where you left off and some people don't find their way back to the wagon for years if ever so don't pick up the first drink. For an alcoholic one drink is too many and 1000 is not enough. Come here or go to AA or reach out to sober people before ever picking up a drink and keep working your program. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by SH1209 
Thank you Creative Thinker! Its hard to know what to say to be honest, I am only 27 and I am totally ashamed of myself that I have let it become a problem. I thought I was a strong person and having nearly a whole family of alcoholics I swore that I would never let it take over my life like it did theirs, but now I have realised it has and the decisions I have made because of alcohol has ruined so many things in my life, I don't want to live like it anymore but I don't know if I have the strength to go through this.
If I had stopped drinking at 27, I'm sure my life would have been a completely different story (I'm 55) than it is today. When I was your age, I knew I had a drinking problem. Here's the thing, I was still able to keep my drinking under wrap, I had a good job, I was in great shape, happily married to a successful business man, had a lot of friends, traveled extensively...you get the picture. I had no idea how progressive this disease is back then. Nor did I ever think that I would create a mess out of my life by the time I was in my early 30's.
Hang around SR, read the stories, see if you can relate. Then decide what you want the rest of your life to be.
Welcome! Glad to meet you! And congrats on making the first step towards genuine happiness!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: England UK
Posts: 7
Without sounding stupid but what is AV? I have heard it referred to a couple of times on here this evening. But that's the thing, i'm not scared of what a sober life will bring because its what I want so much, i'm fed up of letting people down and hurting people because of broken promises or comitments I have made but not been able to keep to because I have been too drunk or hungover to do anything or have went on a massive bender and spent a ridiculous amount of money on alcohol, which as a result has led me to not being able to support my family.
I want a sober life for myself because I don't want to lose any more of my family and friends and I want to give them the best of me which is definitely a sober me. Drunk me is an idiot, I make stupid decisions and can become argumentative and confrontational over stupid things which in the stone cold light of day wouldn't ordinarily bother me.
I know that one drink is too many for me because I cant just stop there, two of the last benders I went on for example, one of them I drunk in excess of 14 pints of cider plus shots of tequila and ended up doing cocaine, I didn't go home for two days and spent the best part of 3 days in bed recovering when I had finally got home, and the start to the other bender; I hadn't eaten anything that day, had three beers then drove my motorbike which resulted in me crashing and breaking my arm but I didn't go to the hospital I thought carrying on drinking was a good idea! Its stupid situations like this which I made stupid decisions and put myself in then hate myself and feel such guilt over it. I don't want to be that person anymore, I want the friends and family I hav to be proud of me and live a happy and healthy life!
I want a sober life for myself because I don't want to lose any more of my family and friends and I want to give them the best of me which is definitely a sober me. Drunk me is an idiot, I make stupid decisions and can become argumentative and confrontational over stupid things which in the stone cold light of day wouldn't ordinarily bother me.
I know that one drink is too many for me because I cant just stop there, two of the last benders I went on for example, one of them I drunk in excess of 14 pints of cider plus shots of tequila and ended up doing cocaine, I didn't go home for two days and spent the best part of 3 days in bed recovering when I had finally got home, and the start to the other bender; I hadn't eaten anything that day, had three beers then drove my motorbike which resulted in me crashing and breaking my arm but I didn't go to the hospital I thought carrying on drinking was a good idea! Its stupid situations like this which I made stupid decisions and put myself in then hate myself and feel such guilt over it. I don't want to be that person anymore, I want the friends and family I hav to be proud of me and live a happy and healthy life!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by SH1209
Hi there,
I am new to this and don't really know what to write, except I have finally realised that I have a problem and need help which is a big thing to admit
I am new to this and don't really know what to write, except I have finally realised that I have a problem and need help which is a big thing to admit
AA is a great tool for many. Everyone who goes to their first meeting feels the same as you. Sit and listen. Share if you're up to it.
Go to meetings, find a homegroup, get a sponsor. Keep reading and checking in here. Make yourself accountable by checking into the 24 Hour thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-221-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 221)
We do this together.
So glad you found us and keep coming back!
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
I think AV is what used to be called stinking thinking in AA. Like the thinking that fits a drinking life. How where why and when to get a drink. A bad habit.
Others who are into it can explain it.
One thing though. Whatever method/s you choose to use. Stick with them. Give them a thorough try. Don't give up and skip from one technique to another when it gets difficult.
Others who are into it can explain it.
One thing though. Whatever method/s you choose to use. Stick with them. Give them a thorough try. Don't give up and skip from one technique to another when it gets difficult.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: England UK
Posts: 7
Thank you Kris, I am feeling confident about the steps I have made and am definitely glad that I logged onto this site. It has made me feel not so lonely, which is a statement which I never thought I would say as I am surrounded by friends and family on a daily basis.
Yeah I am going to sit and listen to others stories, I feel I can learn a great deal from others experiences and journeys. I think I will realise that a lot of the feelings I have, guilt, shame, self loathing etc are normal for the situation I am in. Its great to connect with people that have been and are going through the same as me.
Yeah I am going to sit and listen to others stories, I feel I can learn a great deal from others experiences and journeys. I think I will realise that a lot of the feelings I have, guilt, shame, self loathing etc are normal for the situation I am in. Its great to connect with people that have been and are going through the same as me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
I can also say, if you are serious about sobriety, use every tool you can, to get and stay sober.
We need to be around people like us that understand. Family and friends are wonderful but they just don't quite "get it."
Glad that you have found us here. Good luck with your meeting, too.
We need to be around people like us that understand. Family and friends are wonderful but they just don't quite "get it."
Glad that you have found us here. Good luck with your meeting, too.
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Welcome to SR SH1209. I'm glad you are here.
You have taken some huge steps in deciding you no longer want alcohol controlling your life and ridding your home of alcohol.
You are not alone in your struggles nor are you alone in having done things while drinking that make you feel ashamed.
I was a daily drinking for many years and I did try and stop on my own, I couldn't and that shocked me.
This forum and AA have helped me get to 100 days. You can do it too.
I hope you have a good experience at your first meeting, in AA here they have a saying 'I alone can do it, but I cannot do it alone'. Keep posting here, there is so much support.
Oh and AV stands for Addictive Voice. It's those thoughts in your head that tell you it's ok to drink even when evidence would suggest otherwise. It will try any number of tricks to get you to have that first drink. Remember they are just thoughts and you don't have to act on them.
Let us know how you're doing.
Scruff
You have taken some huge steps in deciding you no longer want alcohol controlling your life and ridding your home of alcohol.
You are not alone in your struggles nor are you alone in having done things while drinking that make you feel ashamed.
I was a daily drinking for many years and I did try and stop on my own, I couldn't and that shocked me.
This forum and AA have helped me get to 100 days. You can do it too.
I hope you have a good experience at your first meeting, in AA here they have a saying 'I alone can do it, but I cannot do it alone'. Keep posting here, there is so much support.
Oh and AV stands for Addictive Voice. It's those thoughts in your head that tell you it's ok to drink even when evidence would suggest otherwise. It will try any number of tricks to get you to have that first drink. Remember they are just thoughts and you don't have to act on them.
Let us know how you're doing.
Scruff
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's great to meet you, SH. You are never alone. The encouragement here helped me stop drinking after 30 yrs.
None of us plan to allow it to take over our lives. In the beginning it was just fun & relaxing. I don't know when I crossed the line from social drinking to dependency. It was frightening when I realized I couldn't get through the day without it. It's wonderful to be free of it. You can do this.
None of us plan to allow it to take over our lives. In the beginning it was just fun & relaxing. I don't know when I crossed the line from social drinking to dependency. It was frightening when I realized I couldn't get through the day without it. It's wonderful to be free of it. You can do this.
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