Nah get out of here and take your disease with you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
Nah get out of here and take your disease with you
Today is a good day a great day in fact. I have been to a meeting this morning and only looked at my AH FB page once. 😂😂
I am a codependent and a recovering alcoholic/addict (sober 2 years) I am AA and Alanon. My husband is still using.
In 12 years he has left over 20 times to return to his mums for a binge holiday ranging from 1 night to 4-6 weeks. I to stop the excruciating pain it causes me have took him back every time. Since I got sober his alcoholic outings have increased. We have now been separated 4 weeks and he's still out there saying he'll get help soon when he's ready ( he said that the last time then did 2 meetings and dropped his sponsor stating he now was not alcoholic 😩😀
yet he's still drinking and gambling.
I usually hold the fort cry helplessly and end up calling and saying ' come home' he always does as that's what he was waiting for, me to initiate it so he doesn't have to face any consequences. Press the reset button and round we go again.
Well this time I don't text or contact him, my sponsor says he thinks it's the same as any other time and he'll be thinking 'oh just a few more days and I'll be back with my ass back on the sofa, my dick between her thighs and our pet dog giving me my masterly attention' well this time he's wrong.
I've packed his stuff up and now have extra room for all the new clothes I'm going to buy myself. I've returned his credit cards through his mothers letterbox and moved the direct debits for them from my account to his. I'm attending AA and Alanon. Yes I had a bad day yesterday. But now my strong days are very strong.
I know my worth. The love, affection and loyalty I have to offer. I'm not wasting my life anymore having a conversation and clockwork sex with a disease that resides in a shell, that is my husband. I'm going to get strong and healthy. I'm going to be the beautiful creation God intended me to be. I'm going to give my love to my daughters, friends and others in need that deserve my help and don't want to suck the living life out of me?
Will he get help? Hope so for our daughters sake. Will it matter to me if he doesn't. No
I take back control of my life, I reserve my love and give it to me.
One day I'll get that question from him after another binge. I can hear his self pitying voice now. ' can I come home?'
My reply: NO
I am a codependent and a recovering alcoholic/addict (sober 2 years) I am AA and Alanon. My husband is still using.
In 12 years he has left over 20 times to return to his mums for a binge holiday ranging from 1 night to 4-6 weeks. I to stop the excruciating pain it causes me have took him back every time. Since I got sober his alcoholic outings have increased. We have now been separated 4 weeks and he's still out there saying he'll get help soon when he's ready ( he said that the last time then did 2 meetings and dropped his sponsor stating he now was not alcoholic 😩😀
yet he's still drinking and gambling.I usually hold the fort cry helplessly and end up calling and saying ' come home' he always does as that's what he was waiting for, me to initiate it so he doesn't have to face any consequences. Press the reset button and round we go again.
Well this time I don't text or contact him, my sponsor says he thinks it's the same as any other time and he'll be thinking 'oh just a few more days and I'll be back with my ass back on the sofa, my dick between her thighs and our pet dog giving me my masterly attention' well this time he's wrong.
I've packed his stuff up and now have extra room for all the new clothes I'm going to buy myself. I've returned his credit cards through his mothers letterbox and moved the direct debits for them from my account to his. I'm attending AA and Alanon. Yes I had a bad day yesterday. But now my strong days are very strong.
I know my worth. The love, affection and loyalty I have to offer. I'm not wasting my life anymore having a conversation and clockwork sex with a disease that resides in a shell, that is my husband. I'm going to get strong and healthy. I'm going to be the beautiful creation God intended me to be. I'm going to give my love to my daughters, friends and others in need that deserve my help and don't want to suck the living life out of me?
Will he get help? Hope so for our daughters sake. Will it matter to me if he doesn't. No
I take back control of my life, I reserve my love and give it to me.
One day I'll get that question from him after another binge. I can hear his self pitying voice now. ' can I come home?'
My reply: NO
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Good on you Suzy. Are you ready for when he starts pleading to come home? Maybe makes some promises, turns on the charm? Acts like he needs rescuing?
His Mum must have a very high tolerance for BS. I know my children wouldn't be welcome in my house for a booze holiday.
His Mum must have a very high tolerance for BS. I know my children wouldn't be welcome in my house for a booze holiday.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
That's the way Suzy!
Do you have face to face support for yourself?? The best thing you can do for your daughter and yourself is maintain your own sobriety. Congratulations on that hard work!
Hugs to you, stay strong!
Do you have face to face support for yourself?? The best thing you can do for your daughter and yourself is maintain your own sobriety. Congratulations on that hard work!
Hugs to you, stay strong!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat 
Good on you Suzy. Are you ready for when he starts pleading to come home? Maybe makes some promises, turns on the charm? Acts like he needs rescuing?
His Mum must have a very high tolerance for BS. I know my children wouldn't be welcome in my house for a booze holiday.
His Mum must have a very high tolerance for BS. I know my children wouldn't be welcome in my house for a booze holiday.
: Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Suzy,
Congratulations on taking your life back!!!
How are you going to do this? Is your home marital property? Can you keep him out of the home? I would recommend reaching out to an attorney asap, because you never know what an angry drunk can do.
Stay safe my friend!!
Congratulations on taking your life back!!!
How are you going to do this? Is your home marital property? Can you keep him out of the home? I would recommend reaching out to an attorney asap, because you never know what an angry drunk can do.
Stay safe my friend!!
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 530
Love it! reminds me of the attitude my XAH had when I left. Stay strong- he thought I would be back. He played a lot of games but no contact helped and writing down all the ways he abused and used me helped me stay away.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 14
Yay! Wtg you! Im in early days of seperation too,4 weeks now i think. My now xah also did the whole binge holiday thing too,except this time was more of a holiday for me!
I went shopping for new clothes,new make up,caught up with friends id not seen in ages and then thought,ughhh he'll be messaging to come back soon. That,and reading here,told me all i needed to know and i was done.
Keep them muscles flexed girl and make sure that lipstick is the perfect shade of f you! Good luck to you xx
I went shopping for new clothes,new make up,caught up with friends id not seen in ages and then thought,ughhh he'll be messaging to come back soon. That,and reading here,told me all i needed to know and i was done.
Keep them muscles flexed girl and make sure that lipstick is the perfect shade of f you! Good luck to you xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by juju48
Yay! Wtg you! Im in early days of seperation too,4 weeks now i think. My now xah also did the whole binge holiday thing too,except this time was more of a holiday for me!
I went shopping for new clothes,new make up,caught up with friends id not seen in ages and then thought,ughhh he'll be messaging to come back soon. That,and reading here,told me all i needed to know and i was done.
Keep them muscles flexed girl and make sure that lipstick is the perfect shade of f you! Good luck to you xx
I went shopping for new clothes,new make up,caught up with friends id not seen in ages and then thought,ughhh he'll be messaging to come back soon. That,and reading here,told me all i needed to know and i was done.
Keep them muscles flexed girl and make sure that lipstick is the perfect shade of f you! Good luck to you xx
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