Codependent sponsee is draining me
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Codependent sponsee is draining me
I may have written about her before. I had suggested she find someone else to work with. But she pulled me back into her web again and she had not change.
I was told by someone who used to try to sponsor her that she has "borderline personality disorder" most likely.
I think she does too. But that wasn't going to be a reason for me not to work with her, if she was *willing* to get well. (My former sponsor told me she doesn't think she has the willingness. I am unsure how to tell how willing a sponsee is).
She is known to bounce from sponsor to sponsor, meeting to meeting.
She has zero appreciation for my time, energy, and help.
She seems to manipulate her therapist, too. Cuts him out, then goes back to him.
She will get incredibly manipulative if I ask her to meet me someplace that's closer to my home instead of hers.
She calls me often times when she is in drama. I put in a lot of energy to help her try to change her thinking and her reactions, but then she gets all mopey and says "I made a mistake again" or "I did it wrong again" almost like wanting me to give her reassurance or feel sorry for her.
I feel like things I say go in one ear and out the other.
I am completely and utterly exhausted trying to help her.
She can't seem to get through her step 4. I try repeatedly to help her just write for a few minutes a day. It just doesn't reach her.
I don't think she's praying to God beforehand because she gets all flustered anytime I mention the 3rd step prayer. Then she lost her big book but did find it online. I had assumed she was reading 84-88 every day, but I know now she doesn't even know the pages and so she wasn't.
My role is to not just be a sounding board anytime she's in drama, to try to fix her thinking.
My role is to help her through the steps.
For the past 2 months, I have repeatedly tried to set up a day/time to either meet her somewhere or talk on the phone to just check in how her writing is going and answer any questions. She won't commit.
Then out of the blue she finally called me and she sounded awful. She was very depressed and was making comments like "If I didn't wake up tomorrow, what would it matter", etc. She was sounding sincerely suicidal. I'm not a therapist so I can't tell when it's just for attention or when it's real. I got scared and tried to build her up, reminding her that we all love her and that her purpose will be to help other alcoholics/addicts get well.
She sounded more cheerful by the time we hung up the phone. But that night, she flaked on not going to our meeting. I literally was looking up every second I saw someone new coming in, to see if it was here. I was so worried about her. When I finally reached her, she said she had a migraine. Which I thought was strange, because I've never heard her say she gets migraines. Yet, I get migraines. It just felt manipulative.
I've lost nights of sleep worrying about her. I've talked to her during dinnertime. She gets very bitchy and manipulative if I'm not available to talk when she wants to talk. She's also admitted to letting the phone just ring, etc., but when I called her on it, she said something in an almost childlike voice, "I don't do that to do, Centered, only to my boyfriend." Last Saturday, we had plans to speak on the phone at a specific time. But then out of the blue she asked if we could talk that night. I could just sense she was being manipulative. She kept repeating the question, in a very firm way, to talk that night. I just said, "No I'm unavailable". Sorry but unless someone is about to relapse, Saturday nights are personal time.
One night, she sat in my car for about 90 minutes spewing some drama she had over another member in AA. I was tired and I really should've put my foot down, but I was trying to help her see her alcoholic thinking and reactions, instead of just venting. I don't know if any of it got through.
How common is it for a sponsee to have a co-dependent relationship with her sponsor, and be manipulative, and disrespect boundaries?
And if this is common, how do I work more effectively on catching it before it happens and just keep it about step work? Should I use more "tough love"? She does seem to respond well to that.
I was told by someone who used to try to sponsor her that she has "borderline personality disorder" most likely.
I think she does too. But that wasn't going to be a reason for me not to work with her, if she was *willing* to get well. (My former sponsor told me she doesn't think she has the willingness. I am unsure how to tell how willing a sponsee is).
She is known to bounce from sponsor to sponsor, meeting to meeting.
She has zero appreciation for my time, energy, and help.
She seems to manipulate her therapist, too. Cuts him out, then goes back to him.
She will get incredibly manipulative if I ask her to meet me someplace that's closer to my home instead of hers.
She calls me often times when she is in drama. I put in a lot of energy to help her try to change her thinking and her reactions, but then she gets all mopey and says "I made a mistake again" or "I did it wrong again" almost like wanting me to give her reassurance or feel sorry for her.
I feel like things I say go in one ear and out the other.
I am completely and utterly exhausted trying to help her.
She can't seem to get through her step 4. I try repeatedly to help her just write for a few minutes a day. It just doesn't reach her.
I don't think she's praying to God beforehand because she gets all flustered anytime I mention the 3rd step prayer. Then she lost her big book but did find it online. I had assumed she was reading 84-88 every day, but I know now she doesn't even know the pages and so she wasn't.
My role is to not just be a sounding board anytime she's in drama, to try to fix her thinking.
My role is to help her through the steps.
For the past 2 months, I have repeatedly tried to set up a day/time to either meet her somewhere or talk on the phone to just check in how her writing is going and answer any questions. She won't commit.
Then out of the blue she finally called me and she sounded awful. She was very depressed and was making comments like "If I didn't wake up tomorrow, what would it matter", etc. She was sounding sincerely suicidal. I'm not a therapist so I can't tell when it's just for attention or when it's real. I got scared and tried to build her up, reminding her that we all love her and that her purpose will be to help other alcoholics/addicts get well.
She sounded more cheerful by the time we hung up the phone. But that night, she flaked on not going to our meeting. I literally was looking up every second I saw someone new coming in, to see if it was here. I was so worried about her. When I finally reached her, she said she had a migraine. Which I thought was strange, because I've never heard her say she gets migraines. Yet, I get migraines. It just felt manipulative.
I've lost nights of sleep worrying about her. I've talked to her during dinnertime. She gets very bitchy and manipulative if I'm not available to talk when she wants to talk. She's also admitted to letting the phone just ring, etc., but when I called her on it, she said something in an almost childlike voice, "I don't do that to do, Centered, only to my boyfriend." Last Saturday, we had plans to speak on the phone at a specific time. But then out of the blue she asked if we could talk that night. I could just sense she was being manipulative. She kept repeating the question, in a very firm way, to talk that night. I just said, "No I'm unavailable". Sorry but unless someone is about to relapse, Saturday nights are personal time.
One night, she sat in my car for about 90 minutes spewing some drama she had over another member in AA. I was tired and I really should've put my foot down, but I was trying to help her see her alcoholic thinking and reactions, instead of just venting. I don't know if any of it got through.
How common is it for a sponsee to have a co-dependent relationship with her sponsor, and be manipulative, and disrespect boundaries?
And if this is common, how do I work more effectively on catching it before it happens and just keep it about step work? Should I use more "tough love"? She does seem to respond well to that.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Centered,
not meaning this in a harsh way, but it sounds like it's you who is disrespecting your boundaries.
boundaries we set are about ourselves, and not about expectations of others.
maybe you're not clear on your own boundaries?
i had a new sponsee acting repeatedly like yours, only without drama calls. but the not showing up, the not hearing, the not-sticking-to-agreed-upon-times and-work, the entire laissez-faire attitude....and i examined everything about me in these interactions and relationship, for a few weeks. i know i can be rigid, and needed tyo be sure that i wasn't acting from a place of inflexibility.
and i wasn't.
i made the decision to not spend more time with her on this. it was hard, but the right thing.
not meaning this in a harsh way, but it sounds like it's you who is disrespecting your boundaries.
boundaries we set are about ourselves, and not about expectations of others.
maybe you're not clear on your own boundaries?
i had a new sponsee acting repeatedly like yours, only without drama calls. but the not showing up, the not hearing, the not-sticking-to-agreed-upon-times and-work, the entire laissez-faire attitude....and i examined everything about me in these interactions and relationship, for a few weeks. i know i can be rigid, and needed tyo be sure that i wasn't acting from a place of inflexibility.
and i wasn't.
i made the decision to not spend more time with her on this. it was hard, but the right thing.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
It was always my understanding that a sponsor is a person who has done the steps and can explain them to somebody doing them for the first time. They are sharing information when asked, but not responsible in any way for that person.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
No law that says you have to keep her as a sponsee. It's a two way street and there needs to be a good fit, IMO. Like the other posers said, explain your boundaries and expectations up front. If that doesn't work, gently explain to her that you think it's a good idea for her to find a different sponsor.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
What does YOUR sponsor suggest?
When I've had situations like this my sponsor has been able to point out to me very easily what MY part it's in things, and what isn't, and make some suggestions on how best to move forward. Sometimes I've disagreed with her and not followed her advice. Nowadays I tend to just follow her advice as she has so, so many years solid and serene sobriety and so much experience sponsoring others, and that darn woman is always flippin' right anyway. I don't have so many occasions nowadays when I need her advice, but I reckon for me, this would be one where I'd seek her opinion.
When I've had situations like this my sponsor has been able to point out to me very easily what MY part it's in things, and what isn't, and make some suggestions on how best to move forward. Sometimes I've disagreed with her and not followed her advice. Nowadays I tend to just follow her advice as she has so, so many years solid and serene sobriety and so much experience sponsoring others, and that darn woman is always flippin' right anyway. I don't have so many occasions nowadays when I need her advice, but I reckon for me, this would be one where I'd seek her opinion.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good to read ya asking for help, my friend!
"How common is it for a sponsee to have a co-dependent relationship with her sponsor, and be manipulative, and disrespect boundaries? '
idk how common it is, but it happens to a lot of us at some time or another.
"And if this is common, how do I work more effectively on catching it before it happens and just keep it about step work? Should I use more "tough love"? She does seem to respond well to that. "
tighten up your boundaries. its ok to say "no" and "no" is a complete sentence.
youre allowed to stand up for yourself. you don't have to be a doormat and allowed to set boundaries. you are allowed to stop a drama filled rant.
"One night, she sat in my car for about 90 minutes spewing some drama she had over another member in AA. I was tired and I really should've put my foot down, but I was trying to help her see her alcoholic thinking and reactions, instead of just venting. I don't know if any of it got through. "
im glad you see it was you that allowed it to happen. might want to look at why ya let it happen. one thing is guaranteed to happen is a sponsee will hear something from their sponsor that's going to upset them or hurt their feelings.
the bb says we alcoholics are sensitive people and it takes some of us a long time to outgrow this serious handicap. hpow did that happen for me? by having people say it like it was- no beatin around the bush or sugar coating the message- i think Jesus got a wee bit brutal at times- like in the temple when He entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.
doc silkworth- someone that worked with or talked to over 40,000 alcoholics in his lifetime- even said "The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight."
however
something else the bb says:
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
if helping you helps me, that's good and thank you.
if helping you hurts me, that aint good and time to step away.
"How common is it for a sponsee to have a co-dependent relationship with her sponsor, and be manipulative, and disrespect boundaries? '
idk how common it is, but it happens to a lot of us at some time or another.
"And if this is common, how do I work more effectively on catching it before it happens and just keep it about step work? Should I use more "tough love"? She does seem to respond well to that. "
tighten up your boundaries. its ok to say "no" and "no" is a complete sentence.
youre allowed to stand up for yourself. you don't have to be a doormat and allowed to set boundaries. you are allowed to stop a drama filled rant.
"One night, she sat in my car for about 90 minutes spewing some drama she had over another member in AA. I was tired and I really should've put my foot down, but I was trying to help her see her alcoholic thinking and reactions, instead of just venting. I don't know if any of it got through. "
im glad you see it was you that allowed it to happen. might want to look at why ya let it happen. one thing is guaranteed to happen is a sponsee will hear something from their sponsor that's going to upset them or hurt their feelings.
the bb says we alcoholics are sensitive people and it takes some of us a long time to outgrow this serious handicap. hpow did that happen for me? by having people say it like it was- no beatin around the bush or sugar coating the message- i think Jesus got a wee bit brutal at times- like in the temple when He entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.
doc silkworth- someone that worked with or talked to over 40,000 alcoholics in his lifetime- even said "The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight."
however
something else the bb says:
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
if helping you helps me, that's good and thank you.
if helping you hurts me, that aint good and time to step away.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
I sponsor a woman and she is co-dependant as crap.
She is not as bad as yours.She wants to stick her nose in everyone`s business and try to fix them,and in the process gets sicker
We currently are exploring and discussing a few other options.
She is not as bad as yours.She wants to stick her nose in everyone`s business and try to fix them,and in the process gets sicker
We currently are exploring and discussing a few other options.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Originally Posted by fini 
Centered,
not meaning this in a harsh way, but it sounds like it's you who is disrespecting your boundaries.
boundaries we set are about ourselves, and not about expectations of others.
maybe you're not clear on your own boundaries?
not meaning this in a harsh way, but it sounds like it's you who is disrespecting your boundaries.
boundaries we set are about ourselves, and not about expectations of others.
maybe you're not clear on your own boundaries?
i had a new sponsee acting repeatedly like yours, only without drama calls. but the not showing up, the not hearing, the not-sticking-to-agreed-upon-times and-work, the entire laissez-faire attitude....and i examined everything about me in these interactions and relationship, for a few weeks. i know i can be rigid, and needed tyo be sure that i wasn't acting from a place of inflexibility.
and i wasn't.
and i wasn't.
i made the decision to not spend more time with her on this. it was hard, but the right thing.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Originally Posted by NewRomanMan
No law that says you have to keep her as a sponsee. It's a two way street and there needs to be a good fit, IMO. Like the other posers said, explain your boundaries and expectations up front. If that doesn't work, gently explain to her that you think it's a good idea for her to find a different sponsor.
I wasn't clear with my boundaries and expectations up front.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
"If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more.
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within."
It is fairly straight forward. We are not here to sell sobriety, just to help those who want the kind of help we can give. Let her go would be my suggestion.
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within."
It is fairly straight forward. We are not here to sell sobriety, just to help those who want the kind of help we can give. Let her go would be my suggestion.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
How did you word it?
i basically said that i wasn't okay/comfortable with the way we weren't sticking to the process we had agreed on initially, and that we had gotten together at the beginning and specifically spoken about our expectations, and that i had laid out the basic process for how i would be doing this, which she understood and had agreed to, and that i didn't have the knowledge or flexibility to deviate from the outlined process in such drastic ways as on-short-notice repeatedly cancelled meetings, chatting forever about anything but the material at hand...blahblahblah...i stayed on my limitations with regards to what i was seeing and experiencing and how i wasn't capable or interested in doing this in a way which was so entirely different from what we had both agreed to.
i kept the focus solely on me, and made no judgments about what she was or was not doing.
well, i did make judgments in my mind, but in the conversation just took responsibility for my part in this non-working relationship when i ended it.
Centered,
i found this tough to do ( it was easier the next time i did it) and it took me a while, since i needed clarity that i wasn't ending this because i wasn't getting "my "way", and that i wasn't ending it because i ascribed an unwillingness to her that maybe was just a different way of showing up...
i'll go a bit further with the boundaries thing: my boundaries are about me. very different from expectations.
i need clarity on what they are, and what the consequences are if someone crosses them. and then i need to stick to my own boundaries and follow through with the consequences if the line gets crossed.
i'm not sure what 'co-dependent' really means...i hear it bandied about in meetings easily and endlessly...but wouldn't it include examples such as loosing nights of sleep over someone else's problems ?
maybe that's a place to look at some more.
i basically said that i wasn't okay/comfortable with the way we weren't sticking to the process we had agreed on initially, and that we had gotten together at the beginning and specifically spoken about our expectations, and that i had laid out the basic process for how i would be doing this, which she understood and had agreed to, and that i didn't have the knowledge or flexibility to deviate from the outlined process in such drastic ways as on-short-notice repeatedly cancelled meetings, chatting forever about anything but the material at hand...blahblahblah...i stayed on my limitations with regards to what i was seeing and experiencing and how i wasn't capable or interested in doing this in a way which was so entirely different from what we had both agreed to.
i kept the focus solely on me, and made no judgments about what she was or was not doing.
well, i did make judgments in my mind, but in the conversation just took responsibility for my part in this non-working relationship when i ended it.
Centered,
i found this tough to do ( it was easier the next time i did it) and it took me a while, since i needed clarity that i wasn't ending this because i wasn't getting "my "way", and that i wasn't ending it because i ascribed an unwillingness to her that maybe was just a different way of showing up...
i'll go a bit further with the boundaries thing: my boundaries are about me. very different from expectations.
i need clarity on what they are, and what the consequences are if someone crosses them. and then i need to stick to my own boundaries and follow through with the consequences if the line gets crossed.
i'm not sure what 'co-dependent' really means...i hear it bandied about in meetings easily and endlessly...but wouldn't it include examples such as loosing nights of sleep over someone else's problems ?
maybe that's a place to look at some more.
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Originally Posted by NewRomanMan
No law that says you have to keep her as a sponsee. It's a two way street and there needs to be a good fit, IMO. Like the other posers said, explain your boundaries and expectations up front. If that doesn't work, gently explain to her that you think it's a good idea for her to find a different sponsor.
I think the healthy part of her wants me to be firm and clear like that so I see now it's up to me as her sponsor to do this since it's in her best interest. It is not in her best interest for me to help her with her drama.
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Originally Posted by Gottalife
"If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more.
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within."
She had texted me last week that she was going to quit writing because she needs to get right with God first. I called her and told her "You get right with God by writing".
I know exactly what she's thinking because I used to think that, too. I used to think, "How is writing inventory going to help me get a relationship with God?!" I just couldn't see that the simple answer was the right answer. I thought it was something deeper, something more abstract, something more....
It is fairly straight forward. We are not here to sell sobriety, just to help those who want the kind of help we can give.
Let her go would be my suggestion.
everyone.
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
May I ask how long you've been sober?
I am able to take anyone with any addiction through the steps so they themselves may then enter the world of the spirit. According to the big book (Drs' Opinion, etc)., spirituality is about finding a personal relationship with God and that is my role to help them do so that they may recover as per the a,b,c of Step 3.
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Originally Posted by Berrybean
What does YOUR sponsor suggest?
With the help of this thread I was able to check in with my heart and see my part--I allowed the drama and thought it'd help her if I try to talk her out of the drama. I see my part in allowing the co-dependency. I have to remember my role--to not feed her ego but to turn her back to God/the writing.
I realize too that I need to continually ask God for help in sponsoring her. Perhaps my ego got carried away--my self-seeking ego of wanting to help her as a rescuer vs help her as a true step sponsor.
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
good to read ya asking for help, my friend!
"How common is it for a sponsee to have a co-dependent relationship with her sponsor, and be manipulative, and disrespect boundaries? '
idk how common it is, but it happens to a lot of us at some time or another.
idk how common it is, but it happens to a lot of us at some time or another.
tighten up your boundaries. its ok to say "no" and "no" is a complete sentence.
youre allowed to stand up for yourself. you don't have to be a doormat and allowed to set boundaries. you are allowed to stop a drama filled rant.
youre allowed to stand up for yourself. you don't have to be a doormat and allowed to set boundaries. you are allowed to stop a drama filled rant.
One time I was in a drama filled rant with my sponsor, and she just firmly said, "Stop!" It worked and I did not feel angry or invalidated. I felt like she saved me from myself.
"One night, she sat in my car for about 90 minutes spewing some drama she had over another member in AA. I was tired and I really should've put my foot down, but I was trying to help her see her alcoholic thinking and reactions, instead of just venting. I don't know if any of it got through. "
im glad you see it was you that allowed it to happen. might want to look at why ya let it happen. one thing is guaranteed to happen is a sponsee will hear something from their sponsor that's going to upset them or hurt their feelings.
im glad you see it was you that allowed it to happen. might want to look at why ya let it happen. one thing is guaranteed to happen is a sponsee will hear something from their sponsor that's going to upset them or hurt their feelings.
That's a good point.... that it's just a fact we're going to say something that is going to upset them or hurt their feelings... I can't shield her from that, because I would be doing a disservice, yes?
the bb says we alcoholics are sensitive people and it takes some of us a long time to outgrow this serious handicap. hpow did that happen for me? by having people say it like it was- no beatin around the bush or sugar coating the message- i think Jesus got a wee bit brutal at times- like in the temple when He entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.
What's this about selling doves? I'm curious since didn't the holy spirit enter Jesus in the form of a dove? (I'm still fairly new to the bible here....)
doc silkworth- someone that worked with or talked to over 40,000 alcoholics in his lifetime- even said "The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight."
I think I understand what you're saying--that the depth and weight of my message to her or any sponsee has to be simply this: "I'm an alcoholic. I worked the steps. I recovered. I can show you how."
however
something else the bb says:
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
something else the bb says:
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
if helping you helps me, that's good and thank you.
if helping you hurts me, that aint good and time to step away.
if helping you hurts me, that aint good and time to step away.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Here's one other confusion I have and again I apologize for reading things too literally.
Page 98 second paragraph states "The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God."
That statement was a really helpful reminder for me.
But the words "service plan" confuses me. Because aren't we supposed to be of service? Or does he mean "acting like a therapist"?
Page 98 second paragraph states "The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God."
That statement was a really helpful reminder for me.
But the words "service plan" confuses me. Because aren't we supposed to be of service? Or does he mean "acting like a therapist"?
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