Aa
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
Aa
I went to my first AA meeting last week , it was terrifying . I went drunk which I regret. I went up to the meeting room and sat at the back hoping one would notice me, but they did, I felt so awkward just being there , everyone was at least 20 years older than me , I kept thinking they where looking at me thinking what the hell is she doing here.
I could definitely relate to the stories though so that was something.
I also saw my next door neighbour there, who seemed kind of angry to see me .. oh well . it ended eventually and I left , I kind of regret going now, I'm not sure ill go again . I have been drinking less though .
anyway thought id share my experience thanks
I could definitely relate to the stories though so that was something.
I also saw my next door neighbour there, who seemed kind of angry to see me .. oh well . it ended eventually and I left , I kind of regret going now, I'm not sure ill go again . I have been drinking less though .
anyway thought id share my experience thanks
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to quit drinking. Do you want to stop? Completely? I'd encourage you to try another meeting- there or elsewhere- and give AA a chance. It has saved my life and those of lots of others. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
PLEASE dont decide to toss out aa after 1 meeting.
i had a horrible fear of others opinions-fancied or real. an ego maniac with low self esteem- thinkin im so imortant everyone must be thinking about me, but their thoughts were negative about me.
took me some time - time sober and workin the steps, to get from my head to my heart that im really not that imprtant to other people and the only opinion about me that mattered was mine
i had a horrible fear of others opinions-fancied or real. an ego maniac with low self esteem- thinkin im so imortant everyone must be thinking about me, but their thoughts were negative about me.
took me some time - time sober and workin the steps, to get from my head to my heart that im really not that imprtant to other people and the only opinion about me that mattered was mine
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
The new comer is the most important person at a meeting. I doubt very much anyone there was even remotely thinking anything ill of you. Just the opposite I'm guessing. They were probably very happy to have you. I know I'm always happy to see a new face at a meeting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by soberclover 
You have every right to be at an AA meeting. Your neighbor looked the way they did because they didn't want anyone to know they were there. I hope you go again 
I agree with Soberclover, you may have felt a negative vibe from your neighbor because they didn't want to be seen.
My suggestion is give it another try at a different meeting.
BTW- Soberclover- I grew up in VT! It's been a while since I've visited. I miss the mountains, skiing my a** off at: Stowe, Jay Peak, Mad River Glen and Killington!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
You are very brave going to a meeting on your own. I could not have done it, someone had to take me. I related to a lot of the people there too and I went back to find out more. Well done on going. I hope you will keep it on your list of options.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
I know that for me, I never wonder what the hell a drunk person is doing at the meeting I'm at. They are finally in the right place, especially if they really want out of that prison that they are in.
As others have already said, AA saved my life and it also showed me that there was life and even happiness without booze.
As others have already said, AA saved my life and it also showed me that there was life and even happiness without booze.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
I don't go to AA so I'm advocating it, but I think you should do anything and everything you need to do to get and stay sober. If you feel AA is for you but that particular environment is not then find another meeting place to attend.
And as far as your neighbor, he was probably just embarrassed or scared you might tell other neighbors. I wouldn't read to much into it.
And as far as your neighbor, he was probably just embarrassed or scared you might tell other neighbors. I wouldn't read to much into it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Anything new will always feel uncomfortable as we put our selfs outside of our comfort zone.
There are different types of meetings though, so you might find something else out there that sits better.
Great job on going, that took courage!!
There are different types of meetings though, so you might find something else out there that sits better.
Great job on going, that took courage!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i suspect that if you went to your next meeting SOBER, it might have a different feel.
relating to the stories is the real power in the meetings. hearing YOUR story from others. i do hope you try again!
relating to the stories is the real power in the meetings. hearing YOUR story from others. i do hope you try again!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
That's a great step of going to your first meeting, but don't give up after just one go. You can check online for other meetings as there are numerous different types including ones just for women and younger people.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
I felt so awkward just being there
The fact that you were drunk probably contributed to that.
Absolutely everybody there knew you were drunk.
If you think you can hide your drinking at an AA meeting, you are mistaken. Everyone there has years of experience trying to hide their drinking, they will notice you.
The fact that you were drunk probably contributed to that.
Absolutely everybody there knew you were drunk.
If you think you can hide your drinking at an AA meeting, you are mistaken. Everyone there has years of experience trying to hide their drinking, they will notice you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I went to meetings after drinking. I went to meetings half in the bag. I might have gone to meetings drunk- I can't remember.
There is a story of an AA member who used to go to meetings with a coffee mug filled with vodka for a long time, sitting in the back listening, full of resentment.
The point of this is not to condone the action, but to say that you are not the only one who has done it. While you relate to the stories you hear, I don't know if a lot of people would admit to doing that. I certainly didn't, and admired the man who did talk of it openly, and how miserable he was when he did it.
He is now decades sober, a real jovial fellow who obviously loves life.
I'm sober now too. One day at a time, I am getting the hang of it. Don't let shame of your actions keep you from going. Like others have said, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. In AA we shouldn't judge- as I read before on here, we grab onto the coattails of others experience, strength and hope until we can find our own sober legs.
Progress, not perfection. I agree, commit to yourself to put the drink down and go to as many meetings as possible. Even if you can't right now, go anyways (just do it safely). Don't let shame keep you in the problem.
You CAN do it and you are worth it.
There is a story of an AA member who used to go to meetings with a coffee mug filled with vodka for a long time, sitting in the back listening, full of resentment.
The point of this is not to condone the action, but to say that you are not the only one who has done it. While you relate to the stories you hear, I don't know if a lot of people would admit to doing that. I certainly didn't, and admired the man who did talk of it openly, and how miserable he was when he did it.
He is now decades sober, a real jovial fellow who obviously loves life.
I'm sober now too. One day at a time, I am getting the hang of it. Don't let shame of your actions keep you from going. Like others have said, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. In AA we shouldn't judge- as I read before on here, we grab onto the coattails of others experience, strength and hope until we can find our own sober legs.
Progress, not perfection. I agree, commit to yourself to put the drink down and go to as many meetings as possible. Even if you can't right now, go anyways (just do it safely). Don't let shame keep you in the problem.
You CAN do it and you are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Really good advice so far.
If the demographics of that one meeting were not what you expected, there are also women's meetings in most locations, and there are some groups (usually the night ones) which have a lot more younger people. The day meetings in my area are pretty heavily retired or older people, or a mix of ages...and the weekend nights have a lot of young people. If you go to that same location at a different time, the meeting will likely be completely different. Tonight would be a good night to try another meeting - I'm sure it would be a lot of fun on a holiday. We have a couple club houses here that do around-the-clock meetings on holidays.
Try again! As they say, "Keep coming back!"
If the demographics of that one meeting were not what you expected, there are also women's meetings in most locations, and there are some groups (usually the night ones) which have a lot more younger people. The day meetings in my area are pretty heavily retired or older people, or a mix of ages...and the weekend nights have a lot of young people. If you go to that same location at a different time, the meeting will likely be completely different. Tonight would be a good night to try another meeting - I'm sure it would be a lot of fun on a holiday. We have a couple club houses here that do around-the-clock meetings on holidays.
Try again! As they say, "Keep coming back!"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
Hello again
thank you all , I read all your replies, yes my first AA meeting wasn't a great experience ,maybe I shouldn't expect it to be, it is AA after all ,definitely being drunk did not help my feelings of awkwardness, I was such a mess at the meeting just sobering up I looked like crap and kept falling asleep [QUOTE=AnvilheadII;6370903]i suspect that if you went to your next meeting SOBER, it might have a different feel. oh god I hope everyone didn't know I was drunk,
I'm going to try and go to my next meeting sober . thank you I guess I do have as much a right to be there as everyone else . and I think your all right about me neighbour, she didn't want me to see her there which I understand .
I've gone to a few meetings outside my town before but it got too stressful and tiring always going to different towns so I think I'm going to stick to my local meetings, I may try going to women's only meetings though..
thank you for all your words of support I'm going to keep going strong I'm done being a drunk
thank you all , I read all your replies, yes my first AA meeting wasn't a great experience ,maybe I shouldn't expect it to be, it is AA after all ,definitely being drunk did not help my feelings of awkwardness, I was such a mess at the meeting just sobering up I looked like crap and kept falling asleep [QUOTE=AnvilheadII;6370903]i suspect that if you went to your next meeting SOBER, it might have a different feel. oh god I hope everyone didn't know I was drunk,
I'm going to try and go to my next meeting sober . thank you I guess I do have as much a right to be there as everyone else . and I think your all right about me neighbour, she didn't want me to see her there which I understand .
I've gone to a few meetings outside my town before but it got too stressful and tiring always going to different towns so I think I'm going to stick to my local meetings, I may try going to women's only meetings though..
thank you for all your words of support I'm going to keep going strong I'm done being a drunk
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Delizadee
I went to meetings after drinking. I went to meetings half in the bag. I might have gone to meetings drunk- I can't remember.
There is a story of an AA member who used to go to meetings with a coffee mug filled with vodka for a long time, sitting in the back listening, full of resentment.
T.
There is a story of an AA member who used to go to meetings with a coffee mug filled with vodka for a long time, sitting in the back listening, full of resentment.
T.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I've been to a meeting with vodka in my cup. That's when I first started going..Felt like crap. No one said anything but, I now know, they knew. I can tell when a newcomer is drunk/high. I mean..you're in a room full of addicts, of course we know. However...you still went and that's what counts!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by DontRemember
I've been to a meeting with vodka in my cup. That's when I first started going..Felt like crap. No one said anything but, I now know, they knew. I can tell when a newcomer is drunk/high. I mean..you're in a room full of addicts, of course we know. However...you still went and that's what counts!
I've got to try and remember that
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I just thought of something else - when you go, find one woman who seems interesting to you and ask her which meetings she likes. That's how I found Big Book study meetings and Step Study meetings. Plus then you'll know one person. That's how it starts.
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