CherylG

Well, I'm back again to vent. I knew when I finally put my foot down and said the D word and went through with it I would have to prepare to hit rock bottom with my A. Well, it really seems to be getting closer for me and the kids. I try to be strong, but sometimes have to wonder what lies ahead. I don't see how someone who wrote in their recovery book that we are the most important part of their life just not care if the kids have food or a roof over their heads. He is in staying at his sister's, not working, no support. The only reason he is not drinking is lack of money. His brother-in-law supplies him with an occasional beer buzz, but he does not want them to know the true extent of his drinking. The divorce is all my fault in their eyes. I try to just make it through each day and be strong for the kids. I don't want them to know how bad our situation is with Christmas here. Some days it is really tough just to get myself together and face another day. I can't see having him put in jail for non-support. What does that accomplish. He really would have no chance of seeking employment, but my brother got him his last job which he lost for lack of showing up. Well, that is enough of MY Christmas Scrooge routine. Back to trying to be cheery for everyone. Thanks for letting me vent and I will keep all of you in my thoughts as I feel for your posts.

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Cheryl.
I feel for you. You never know which way an addict is going to jump.
C'mon over and visit the naranon page. We've been having a little Christmas addict-bashing... it's very cleansing. It's good to laugh.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday.
Smoke

ladyammons

Stay strong Cheryl. My husband hasn't gone to AA yet and I can relate to what you said about what he wrote in the recovery book. Mine is much the same way and I still can't understand why he won't seek help if I'm that important to him. Try to enjoy the holidays and know we're here for you.

Desperate

Hi,
I just want you to know your not alone. My situation is much the same.I'm starting divorse proceedings after christmas.After 13 years of this I'm finally sick and tired enough to go through with it. All of my threats did'nt work either.I'm going to make a beleiver out of him this time.

I have tried so hard to be the perfect wife and mother and was doing a good job at it. He just Loves his beer and pills more than the kids and me.It's a hard fact to face but it 's true.You can't help someone that won't help themself.Don't let this get you down be strong for the kids. I know that's what I'm focusing on right now.We've done all we can do. It's time to get on with our lives because out there some where someone is waiting to find a lady like you and I. We should not have to settle for less. We're too good for that.

Have a Merry Christmas and I'll keep you in my thoughts because I know exactly what your going through.God Bless

ladyammons

Kim, you have definately decided on divorce? Good. Now when you start the proceedings and papers are served, don't you let him talk you out of it. Keep us posted.

JEJ47

Cheryl,

I wish you peace and happiness. You did
the right thing. My mom couldn't do it and
me and my brother and sister grew up with
an abusive alcholic violent father. She ended up drinking to deal with him and left us basically to fend for ourselves. She ended up dying @62 from cirosis and my father
is still living actively drinking at 73 and
the worst part is me and my family live with
him based on the promise that he wouldn't drink. You know how those promises go.
I remember one christmas they both were so drunk my mom fell into the christmas tree and
ruined everything. You've done the best by your kids although you may be lonely, they
have a better chance to grow up with some
segment of normalcy.