FreeOwl

I'm over three years sober. I've shed all my addictions to substances of the traditional substance abuse ilk.

But I'm still hooked on a few things;

PPIs - Omeprazole, specifically. I've been on some form of PPI for GERD since my late teens. Looking back, I'm almost certain that it all began with my alcohol abuse and sugar addictions from an early age. Those likely wrecked my gut health, triggered the initial battles with GERD, and once I discovered pepcid, then Zantac, then prilosec, then protonix, then back to prilosec..... 25 years went by in a flash and I was on some form of those drugs all that time.

The past few years, I've had increasing issues that are related to these PPIs. My digestive health is declining and I believe they contribute to some of my continued challenges with seasonal depression, anxiety and even some frustrating sexual effects at times. More and more research is coming out that supports this suspicion. Trouble is, I've become so addicted to them both physically and psychologically - I can't get off them. I make it a few days and then it's so unbearable I go back on. The parallels between alcohol addiction and the cycle I'm trapped in with the PPI drug are glaringly obvious.

Coffee is the next one - and it's surely related to the above. GERD is aggravated by coffee and the Lower Esophageal Sphincter is weakened by caffeine and acidity of coffee. I go here and there with a day or two of 'cutting back' but then I fall back into a 1,000mg / day coffee habit. It's got to the point that if I have insufficient amounts of coffee during the day I wake up with a migraine at night.

Finally - social media. This has been on the rise as an addiction. I love it for many reasons. But it so easily consumes my time and focus and drives a wedge into my day-to-day attention.

Today begins a new attempt, a structured attempt, a focused attempt to get off the PPIs, to limit my caffeine / coffee habit once and for all, and to set boundaries on social media that free me from the digital addiction's interference with my life.

Compared to the awfulness of addiction to drugs and alcohol - these are relatively less critical. But, they all impact the quality of my experience of life. They all take over a piece of me and take over my awareness and slide into a space of controlling me. These are the very heart of the definition of addiction.....

I'm going to share some of this journey because I know I'm not alone. Lots of folks who've abused their bodies for so many years - today find themselves with GERD and PPI prescriptions and resultant physical problems. Lots of us who have struggled with addiction find that Coffee remains a problematic influence in our lives. Lots of us are finding that social media can draw us into unhealthy behavior and time wasting.

So, it'll be a bit of an experiment. A "Sobriety Journal" of a different but relevant sort.

Day 1 - starting now......

Centered3

I'm not sure if you were looking for advice, support, or experience so I apologize if I'm not posting what you need....

I have heard about PPIs causing rebound acid when you try to get off of them. People on an antidepressant forum did this: they got a micro-scale or the meds in liquid form and cut down 10% every 3 weeks or so to do a very slow wean to get their bodies used to being off the meds more slowly. Maybe ask your doctor what s/he thinks about that?

Also I'd be sure I was avoiding all foods that cause increased acid.

Coffee--ugh what a relentless habit that was for me. I am happy to say it's not anymore, but I do have 1 cup if I get a migraine and I have awareness of this habit slowly creep back in so I cut it back off.

Are you planning to wean off the coffee? Like, mix it with decaf or something? Or switch to tea?

I once went cold turkey thinking the suffering would make me learn the lesson. The headaches from that were awful. Weaning was a lot easier on the head and body, but it wasn't easy to wean off because of my stupid mind telling me to have more.

I can "moderate" tea although that had become an obsession for me as well. Since it has less caffeine than coffee, I can drink it without it turning into a bad habit I become obsessed with. I don't really get withdrawal headaches if I miss my 1-2 cups of tea a day. But I am always looking out for that "slippery slope" when my mind starts to mess with me about it.

Social media--can't help you with that one because I'm struggling with that. I use it to "numb out". My therapist has often suggested I time myself on it.

I'm eager to hear as you progress. Good luck! :-)

ScottFromWI

Best of luck FreeOwl. I had to cut down on coffee myself, but originally because of the issues that the caffeine was causing with my anxiety. I was also taking some PPI's to deal with GERD which was pretty rampant during my last drinking years. If it's any consolation, cutting back on the coffee did allow me to quit the PPI's completely. I also cut back on greasy/oily foods & snacks ( even though I LOVE potato chips ) and that really helped too.

I'm not a betting man but if I were i'd put money on you getting through this successfully. If you attack it with even half the energy you put into your sobriety it doesn't stand a chance!

Delizadee

I'll be keeping an eye on you, Owl
I'm going through some real struggle with my own cross-addictions. I am trying to be gentle with myself and remember that my main goal right now is keeping steady on my sober legs. It's hard sometimes not to feel like I'm self-destructing. Some of it's out of my control... so working on letting go of what I can control and mustering the strength to take action on what I can.
Procrastination is my biggest non-addiction problem but is the door opener for my other addictions. I am reading a book right now called "The War of Art" which speaks on the different resistance people face as barriers in their lives. I have heard (read) it talks a lot of overcoming procrastination as a barrier which is why I got it.

So yes, I'm there with you I struggle with those exact same things you do including the PPI's and I LOVE coffee and have been doing without it due to finances and weather, ha.
Glad you posted this and good luck & strength going forward Owl
Del

FreeOwl

thanks for the encouragement, support and input.

this is a long-time-coming and I really feel I need to make the next step for my health... and also as a deepening of my sobriety.

to some extent, these things reflect weak points in my sober life... dependencies.... crutches and barriers to the fullness of my life experience.

Time to grow.

PS - I also just read The War of Art... a fantastic book and inspiring indeed!

Ariesagain

Coffee is brutal for GERD. I had to give it up entirely for a long time...now that I've been sober for 430 some days, I can have an occasional latte.

Have you tried following a strict GERD diet prior to weaning yourself off PPIs? No citrus, no tomatoes, no dairy, no onions/garlic...you can google it. It might help make the transition easier.

Ironically, I went off PPIs when the surgeon who did my endoscopy recommended I try getting off them. When I was still miserable on a single dose of PPIs, my GP's response was to double them!

Instead, I tried the surgeon's recommendation. It took a couple of days of misery for me but I was following the GERD diet pretty closely and got through it. I could have saved myself a ton of money had I known what the meds were doing to me.

A couple of other things that helped were baking soda in warm water, especially at night, and NGL licorice.

You might want to talk to your doctor about some supplementation for the effects of long-term PPI meds use. I think it's magnesium in particular...maybe zinc. Can't remember, but there are several nutrients that they block. Probiotics are also something to ask about...just avoid those with turmeric or garlic added.

I hope you can make the transition successfully. So many meds we take for various things turn out to cause other problems...it's quite alarming.

Best of luck!

FreeOwl

thanks for sharing your experience!

Yes, I've heard / discussed much of this.... I think it's going to be a matter of experimenting with probiotics and digestive enzymes, diet logging to figure out the things that are the worst for me personally, DGL, aloe juice, veggie juicing, apple cider vinegar and... probably TIME.

As with alcohol, coming off 25 years of PPI's is going to kick my system into an imbalance and it'll take a while to attain a 'normal' or at least a more natural state.

I need to CHOOSE it daily and then ACT to support that choice.... just like I did with alcohol and drugs.



Thanks again!

FreeOwl

as for coffee... I have been unable to give it up cold turkey as the headaches are so incredible... I need to try a systematic weaning. That's a huge challenge because addiction and weaning seldom seems to work....

Not to mention I have a new baby on the way any day now... lol NOT a good time to give up coffee!!

grubby

I wouldn't worry about it mane, coffee is no big deal The worst it does is mess up my sleep if I drink it too late in the day, but that's about it.

My dad drinks like a pot and 1/2 a day of Folgers classic roast and he's like 70 years old and still humming along. My grandpa (lived to 98) and grandma (lived to 86), drank coffee every day. Every > 70 senior/elderly person I run into drinks coffee and they're fine.

That PPI stuff on the other hand.....

Social media and the internet?? Hmmmm.... that one is debateable, personally I nourish and INDULGE my internet addiction, but that's just me

Everyone is different however, so to each his own

FreeOwl

coffee is no big deal.....

but for ME, it is excessive. It contributes to my GERD which is causing negative health effects.

it also contributes to anxiety, I think it is impacting my heartrate and effecting my workouts, and it's just TOO much caffeine. I've had too much caffeine for too long and it's rewired me.

I'd love to be able to get to a one-a-day or 'occasional' coffee indulgence. I do enjoy coffee. Just enjoy it way, way too much.

Social media - lots to love about it. Many positives. But it needs boundaries. I think it's taking over lives far too much. My own use of it is clearly addictive at times and pulling me too much away from the richness of life.



Those are MY reasons... not judgements toward anyone else.

grubby

The biggest "negative" I see from internet/social media is it can be a big time-waster. There's been times I'm on my computer and I look up at the clock and think to myself "wow, it's already 11 pm? that was quick". Seems the saying is true: time flies when you're having fun

Ariesagain

Well, I'm thinking since you're about to have a newborn in the house that social media addiction will probably solve itself...babies have a way of filling all your extra time!

I was wondering...maybe you could try caffeine pills with a meal instead of coffee to get you tapered off without such bad headaches? It's the acidity of coffee that's the worst of it for reflux. The straight caffeine is not a big improvement but at least with a meal it might wreak less erosion on your digestive tract? Then you could wean yourself off fairly scientifically.

I'm a tea drinker now...sure, I miss the straight jumpstart in the morning but I really don't miss feeling like my stomach is trying to climb out of my body vertically.

Outonthetiles

Coffee is going to be my next hurdle.

Dee74

Congrats on 3 years FreeOwl and congratulations for divining and deciding this next phase of self improvement and recovery

D

FreeOwl

Caffeine pills are definitely going to need to be part of how I manage the weaning. The headaches are a big barrier. THe other barrier is psychological. The ritual of coffee. The getting out of the house to have some social interaction (I work from home) by going to the coffee shop. The taste and the sensation.... the PIE.

As for the social media I think an infant may worsen it, lol.... I have a tendency to post a lot of poetry and photos of my family and chronicle my life as though social media were (actually, it IS) a sort of journal for future generations...... lol. It's a good chance to work on boundaries.

Thank you, Dee!!!

So far today, Ive failed abysmally at the coffee restrictions already. But no PPIs and I'm committed to doing everything I can to get off these things and try to let me body recalibrate.

The coffee is an ongoing struggle but I know I can get there.

FreeOwl

and to the other comments about "what's the harm".....

Here's the thing; even though these addictions are seemingly 'harmless' - the real point is that it remains ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR.

In the sense that these are things which consume more of my life than I want or intend and that have negative consequences and they are things which I am unable to consistently control.

ALL of those things are hallmarks of addiction - regardless of the degree of danger or impact they pose. And therein lies the real danger....

Because if I am allowing and accepting addictive behavior, that means there is still a threat to my sobriety lingering. That means I still have opportunity for greater depth in sobriety and in life. That means I still have work to do.

daisy1

You mentioned Apple cider cinegar - I just got home from work with terrible heartburn and a glass of ACV in water got rid of it. No idea why it works because it tastes like it would dissolve my stomach entirely!

I've been scoped and have a hiatus hernia and a lot of inflammation due to the drinking. PPIs helped initially but I read somewhere that they can put strain on the liver so I stopped them.

Your post has made me realise that I too am addicted to certain behaviours and have crutches, but as they aren't going to kill me im not bothered (it's early days for me though).

FreeOwl

I felt that way for a long while too. After 3+ years though, I am seeing how those more subtle addictions are things that also aren't good for me and while they MAY not kill me (certainly liver failure from PPIs could....) - still they impact my quality and depth of life. So it's time to keep evolving and deepening.

ACV does help me, but it's just one thing in an arsenal for now. I'm told by my doctor that since I've been on PPIs for so many years, it will be a pretty brutal 'bounceback' effect. If I can endure through it, however, my body should still have the capacity to get back in harmony.

Mklove

I love the positive thoughts about getting through addictive impulsive. I had to give up coffee but that was way before I acknowledged it was wine really doing my guts in. Ice tea my DOC now, until noon.
Fire Cider made with vinegar is my secret potion. It cures what ails me, drink a shot every morning, gotten used to strong taste.
After drinking ceased I started eating dry cereal from the box, yup sugary and not good. I'm working to get over that habit, I needed to gain weight and this made me gain just in the gut. My blood sugar could be going down because of no alcohol but will likely be up because of the cereal. Working on it........
So pleased I worked on sobriety, it shows I have strength. Something I doubted.

FreeOwl

welp.... I'm on Day 6 without the PPIs.

it's begun to get a little awful, as the heartburn rebound effect is kicking in and managing it is a complicated dance of Apple Cider Vinegar, Baking Soda, Probiotics and Digestive Enzymes.

Met with my doctor to schedule and Endoscopy to check the condition of my lower esophagus. He is supportive of my efforts to quit - but suggested switching medicines versus going off them altogether. I left that as an alternative to consider if I give this a good run with no luck.

Being much more careful about how much I eat, what time I eat, how thoroughly I chew my food seems to help. Eating smaller meals with a little greater frequency also helps - which are all generally healthier ways to eat anyway. In that regard, this getting-off-PPI's may force a positive change to my eating habits all around. I've also cut way out on junk foods and sugar because they are good for bad heartburn..... so again, in that regard taking PPI's may be an enabler of another bad addiction; SUGAR and JUNK.

The coffee is still an issue. I've had a few days where I did a good job cutting way back..... but it's still dark and cold and hard for me to jumpstart my day by getting out for a run or other exercise. I will keep that in my sights and keep at it. The coffee also contributes to the heartburn. Still dreaming of 'moderation' because I am as yet unable or unwilling to let go of it completely.

One Step At A Time....