What was your timesharing ruling?

Old 03-08-2017, 08:01 AM
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What was your timesharing ruling?

Just curious as to what the outcome was for others timesharing with their ex and the kids. My ex wants 50/50 and I believe if he can show negative drug tests this may happen. My attorney advises me that the courts usually will order a phase in ruling. At least this will give him the opportunity to prove himself and it won't go right into 50/50. There are so many factors to take into account...he's been diagnosed bi polar in the past and receives no treatment for it, owes over $100k back owed in child support for two kids he has from a previous relationship and he has zero contact with them, lost his drivers license for not paying that child support and then of course the extensive drug abuse history. However, he has just submitted a negative drug test (a year after I requested one)....so I'm trying to gear myself up for timesharing in the near future. What are your experiences with timesharing and how hard did you have to fight to get it?
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Old 03-08-2017, 04:51 PM
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I'm so sorry. I know the anxiety. I think you know my outcome- 60/40, settled out of court. But it looks like that may be changing soon.

I know it's terrifying. They give waaaaaaaaaaaay too many chances. The motto seems to be, "wait and see"- it's almost as if they're thinking, "Well, we see that he did this this and this during the marriage, but surely he'll be ready to change now?"

Sometimes all we can do is pray. Addicts are sloppy. He'll mess up eventually.
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Old 03-09-2017, 04:16 PM
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Hi, Sunshine.

I am not an attorney, social worker or psychologist... just putting that out there to make it clear I am not giving professional advice. However, in my job I do see divorce agreements and custody evaluations. When one spouse accuses the other of having a substance problem (current or history) I have seen judges order substance abuse evaluations for both parties (so of course that means a waste of money for the spouse who does not have a history of this problem). This will result in a report by a psychologist assessing the individuals' risk of having/continuing a substance abuse problem. If a spouse has a recent history of substance abuse but is now clean, I have seen judges order that spouse to submit to monthly drug testing at their physician's office to be sent to a lab, the result of the labs go to the physician as well as to the psychologist &/or the court, and if the test is clean, the individual has another month of parenting time; if the test is dirty, no parenting time (and presumably other consequences?). If a spouse is new to recovery, the court may mandate supervised visitation or may allow limited visitation (such as a weeknight dinner with the child/ren or a visit of several hours on a weekend day but without an overnight component).

Again, I'm not a professional. I'm only sharing information I've come across in my job.
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Old 03-13-2017, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by CherryVanilla View Post
Hi, Sunshine.

I am not an attorney, social worker or psychologist... just putting that out there to make it clear I am not giving professional advice. However, in my job I do see divorce agreements and custody evaluations. When one spouse accuses the other of having a substance problem (current or history) I have seen judges order substance abuse evaluations for both parties (so of course that means a waste of money for the spouse who does not have a history of this problem). This will result in a report by a psychologist assessing the individuals' risk of having/continuing a substance abuse problem. If a spouse has a recent history of substance abuse but is now clean, I have seen judges order that spouse to submit to monthly drug testing at their physician's office to be sent to a lab, the result of the labs go to the physician as well as to the psychologist &/or the court, and if the test is clean, the individual has another month of parenting time; if the test is dirty, no parenting time (and presumably other consequences?). If a spouse is new to recovery, the court may mandate supervised visitation or may allow limited visitation (such as a weeknight dinner with the child/ren or a visit of several hours on a weekend day but without an overnight component).

Again, I'm not a professional. I'm only sharing information I've come across in my job.
Thank you for the info. That sounds reasonable.
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