PAWS? of just being sober BLOWS?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
PAWS? of just being sober BLOWS?
Hi Guys,
I need a little insight from people that have more experience on this than I. I have 117 days today and I am not sure what is going on but from a few I have talked to that have some time under their belt they suggest just a friend stint of PAWS is the case. I was a heavy beer drinker for 8 years (12-16 light beers a night) and had one stint of just over 200 days sober in that 8 years 6 years ago. Towards the end of my drinking i was caught in a anxiety cycle that was pretty routine; wake up go through the day feeling like ****, get anxiety, drink anxiety away, wash and repeat. My wife and family pulled a little intervention on me and that was the final straw. Needless to say, i havent had a drop in 117 days. There are a few brief periods where i feel "wow good", this is why i am sober, i feel like a normal person good. And then i have the feelings i have been suffering with for about a week, anxiety over nothing at all, racing thoughts, almost borderline depression( ive never experienced depression so im calling it borderline as i dont feel like the world is over), just almost like the feeling you have when you first wake up that normally burns off by the time you get to work, except i feel like that all fricking day long. No real desire to get up and go like i had there for a bit, just stuck in a rut and insanely over it. I know all the "pink cloud" nonsense and I am assuming i just crashed off of it. But i am getting these weird little funks and almost a sense of derealization throughout and its driving me insane, almost like i am losing it. I have ZERO desire to start drinking, hell there is beer in my fridge from a friend over this weekend and i have no desire what so ever to pick up a beer. I do know that the little devil on my shoulder says, you will go right back to normal with a couple of beers in you. I know that that is not the answer and that is not happening but i wanted insight from some of you guys. Appreciate ya!
I need a little insight from people that have more experience on this than I. I have 117 days today and I am not sure what is going on but from a few I have talked to that have some time under their belt they suggest just a friend stint of PAWS is the case. I was a heavy beer drinker for 8 years (12-16 light beers a night) and had one stint of just over 200 days sober in that 8 years 6 years ago. Towards the end of my drinking i was caught in a anxiety cycle that was pretty routine; wake up go through the day feeling like ****, get anxiety, drink anxiety away, wash and repeat. My wife and family pulled a little intervention on me and that was the final straw. Needless to say, i havent had a drop in 117 days. There are a few brief periods where i feel "wow good", this is why i am sober, i feel like a normal person good. And then i have the feelings i have been suffering with for about a week, anxiety over nothing at all, racing thoughts, almost borderline depression( ive never experienced depression so im calling it borderline as i dont feel like the world is over), just almost like the feeling you have when you first wake up that normally burns off by the time you get to work, except i feel like that all fricking day long. No real desire to get up and go like i had there for a bit, just stuck in a rut and insanely over it. I know all the "pink cloud" nonsense and I am assuming i just crashed off of it. But i am getting these weird little funks and almost a sense of derealization throughout and its driving me insane, almost like i am losing it. I have ZERO desire to start drinking, hell there is beer in my fridge from a friend over this weekend and i have no desire what so ever to pick up a beer. I do know that the little devil on my shoulder says, you will go right back to normal with a couple of beers in you. I know that that is not the answer and that is not happening but i wanted insight from some of you guys. Appreciate ya!
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
The most important thing during these times is to not drink. This is an opportunity to gain deep insights. What you learn will stand you in good stead. Drinking makes this impossible and negates progress. Stay with it. Let it unfold while going on with the necessities of life. You will have the insights.
Now what?
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by Cobber3 
I need a little insight from people that have more experience on this than I. I have 117 days today and I am not sure what is going on
I was a heavy beer drinker for 8 years (12-16 light beers a night) and had one stint of just over 200 days sober in that 8 years 6 years ago.
i havent had a drop in 117 days. There are a few brief periods where i feel "wow good", this is why i am sober, i feel like a normal person good. And then ... anxiety over nothing at all, racing thoughts, almost borderline depression
i am getting these weird little funks and almost a sense of derealization throughout and its driving me insane, almost like i am losing it.
I was a heavy beer drinker for 8 years (12-16 light beers a night) and had one stint of just over 200 days sober in that 8 years 6 years ago.
i havent had a drop in 117 days. There are a few brief periods where i feel "wow good", this is why i am sober, i feel like a normal person good. And then ... anxiety over nothing at all, racing thoughts, almost borderline depression
i am getting these weird little funks and almost a sense of derealization throughout and its driving me insane, almost like i am losing it.
Your body is reacclimating to life without alcohol. There is no hard and fast rule for how long it takes or what you will or won't experience. Your body is taking you on a ride similar to the one you took it on for eight years - WTF?! Your body got used to alcohol and now you've taken it away.
A couple of beers won't take you back to normal. It'll take you back to getting drunk. What's normal about drunk?
Your anxiety isn't over nothing and a lot of it is distressing. You've been sedating yourself regularly with alcohol for years . Your anxiety is exposed now - like a sunburn in the sun. For some of us, anxiety and learning how to live with it becomes the new challenge. Some people take medication for it. I used to, but that turned into a new nightmare. Eventually, I just moved out of the city. I had to put myself into a less stressful environment.
It's never a bad idea to discuss this with a doctor educated specifically in addiction medication.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by MicroMacro
You drank for around 3000 days until you decided to stop 117 days ago. How fast did you think it would take for your body - and your brain - to recover?
Your body is reacclimating to life without alcohol. There is no hard and fast rule for how long it takes or what you will or won't experience. Your body is taking you on a ride similar to the one you took it on for eight years - WTF?! Your body got used to alcohol and now you've taken it away.
A couple of beers won't take you back to normal. It'll take you back to getting drunk. What's normal about drunk?
Your anxiety isn't over nothing and a lot of it is distressing. You've been sedating yourself regularly with alcohol for years . Your anxiety is exposed now - like a sunburn in the sun. For some of us, anxiety and learning how to live with it becomes the new challenge. Some people take medication for it. I used to, but that turned into a new nightmare. Eventually, I just moved out of the city. I had to put myself into a less stressful environment.
It's never a bad idea to discuss this with a doctor educated specifically in addiction medication.
Your body is reacclimating to life without alcohol. There is no hard and fast rule for how long it takes or what you will or won't experience. Your body is taking you on a ride similar to the one you took it on for eight years - WTF?! Your body got used to alcohol and now you've taken it away.
A couple of beers won't take you back to normal. It'll take you back to getting drunk. What's normal about drunk?
Your anxiety isn't over nothing and a lot of it is distressing. You've been sedating yourself regularly with alcohol for years . Your anxiety is exposed now - like a sunburn in the sun. For some of us, anxiety and learning how to live with it becomes the new challenge. Some people take medication for it. I used to, but that turned into a new nightmare. Eventually, I just moved out of the city. I had to put myself into a less stressful environment.
It's never a bad idea to discuss this with a doctor educated specifically in addiction medication.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Saudi Arabia
Posts: 476
Hi Cobber3 Welcome, on day 67 myself and suffering Paws big time too, have a look at this link paws http://digital-dharma.net/post-acute...r-immediately/
Also, look at the information here on SR, just type in PAWS in the search area, Good Luck and keep posting.
Also, look at the information here on SR, just type in PAWS in the search area, Good Luck and keep posting.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Congratulations of the time you've achieved.
As time goes on in sobriety i think we begin to learn the map and the territory of our emotional selves.
Racing thoughts , anxiety and depression .. do you need a few days off work ?
I used to be so hungover and sick all the time i couldnt tell if i needed a few days off , maybe you need to sleep in , go fishing , sit in a steam room , get a massage ?
114 days is great, it still is early days. I've found coping with life , the up's and the downs takes time, learning and sometimes help.
I grew a lot in the first year of sobriety , my old drinking life was all that a drunk could handle.
It was a treadmill , holidays were a blur / blackout there was no real respite just a drug plastering over and wiping out anything and everything then back to work pushing myself real hard then playing hard.
life is more ballanced now and i'm gentle with myself.
Bestwishes, m
As time goes on in sobriety i think we begin to learn the map and the territory of our emotional selves.
Racing thoughts , anxiety and depression .. do you need a few days off work ?
I used to be so hungover and sick all the time i couldnt tell if i needed a few days off , maybe you need to sleep in , go fishing , sit in a steam room , get a massage ?
114 days is great, it still is early days. I've found coping with life , the up's and the downs takes time, learning and sometimes help.
I grew a lot in the first year of sobriety , my old drinking life was all that a drunk could handle.
It was a treadmill , holidays were a blur / blackout there was no real respite just a drug plastering over and wiping out anything and everything then back to work pushing myself real hard then playing hard.
life is more ballanced now and i'm gentle with myself.
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
It will pass, patience.
I know, it was AGONIZING those first few months. I was soooooooo friggin BORED!! I never realized how much I had become dependent on alcohol just to pass the time/get thru the day. I'm over 3 years clean now, your brain will return to some sense of normalcy, but it will take time. I'm afraid the withdrawal, PAWS, etc will simply have to run it's course.
Best of luck, stay strong! There's light on the other side, if you stick with it
I know, it was AGONIZING those first few months. I was soooooooo friggin BORED!! I never realized how much I had become dependent on alcohol just to pass the time/get thru the day. I'm over 3 years clean now, your brain will return to some sense of normalcy, but it will take time. I'm afraid the withdrawal, PAWS, etc will simply have to run it's course.
Best of luck, stay strong! There's light on the other side, if you stick with it
Now what?
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by Cobber3
damn my dude, right between the eyes with that one. I appreciate it mucho! I am with you on the meds thing, i dont even want to go down that road, rather white knuckle it. I needed that, 117 days vs 3000, appreciate that outlook on it. Good news is i have 117 days in the right direction. Thanks man
My name's Jennifer. (smile)
And high five on the 117 days!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by MicroMacro
My name's Jennifer. (smile)
And high five on the 117 days!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
Originally Posted by MicroMacro
You drank for around 3000 days until you decided to stop 117 days ago. How fast did you think it would take for your body - and your brain - to recover?
Your body is reacclimating to life without alcohol. There is no hard and fast rule for how long it takes or what you will or won't experience. Your body is taking you on a ride similar to the one you took it on for eight years - WTF?! Your body got used to alcohol and now you've taken it away.
A couple of beers won't take you back to normal. It'll take you back to getting drunk. What's normal about drunk?
Your anxiety isn't over nothing and a lot of it is distressing. You've been sedating yourself regularly with alcohol for years . Your anxiety is exposed now - like a sunburn in the sun. For some of us, anxiety and learning how to live with it becomes the new challenge. Some people take medication for it. I used to, but that turned into a new nightmare. Eventually, I just moved out of the city. I had to put myself into a less stressful environment.
It's never a bad idea to discuss this with a doctor educated specifically in addiction medication.
Your body is reacclimating to life without alcohol. There is no hard and fast rule for how long it takes or what you will or won't experience. Your body is taking you on a ride similar to the one you took it on for eight years - WTF?! Your body got used to alcohol and now you've taken it away.
A couple of beers won't take you back to normal. It'll take you back to getting drunk. What's normal about drunk?
Your anxiety isn't over nothing and a lot of it is distressing. You've been sedating yourself regularly with alcohol for years . Your anxiety is exposed now - like a sunburn in the sun. For some of us, anxiety and learning how to live with it becomes the new challenge. Some people take medication for it. I used to, but that turned into a new nightmare. Eventually, I just moved out of the city. I had to put myself into a less stressful environment.
It's never a bad idea to discuss this with a doctor educated specifically in addiction medication.
This helped me out today, because I've had a terrible day. I even went to an AA meeting which made it worse. I wanted to drink, but reading here on SR has saved my butt again.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Congrats on almost 4 months sober! It takes time to heal and get back to normal functioning. Give yourself time, good nutrition, and rest. It should get better. If it doesn't, see your doctor for a complete physical exam.
It takes time to heal and get back to normal functioning. Give yourself time, good nutrition, and rest. It should get better. If it doesn't, see your doctor for a complete physical exam.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Hi Cobber,
That sounds like PAWS to me, like when I was at your stage. Ride it out, buddy, your crazy emotions will clear up over time. And that's great what you are doing for you kids. That was my biggest reason to quit. Thank goodness they will never have seen me drunk.
That sounds like PAWS to me, like when I was at your stage. Ride it out, buddy, your crazy emotions will clear up over time. And that's great what you are doing for you kids. That was my biggest reason to quit. Thank goodness they will never have seen me drunk.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Congratulations on your time!
Whenever I felt the way you describe for me it felt like what I call "What now?" syndrome. I realize that could probably be PAWS but I discovered it was my mind and body's way of saying "Get off your duff and find something interesting to do". The quicker I did that the sooner I felt better.
Are there things you can plan to do that are fun? Something you can look forward to?
Whenever I felt the way you describe for me it felt like what I call "What now?" syndrome. I realize that could probably be PAWS but I discovered it was my mind and body's way of saying "Get off your duff and find something interesting to do". The quicker I did that the sooner I felt better.
Are there things you can plan to do that are fun? Something you can look forward to?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
You and me are about the same amount of time sober and I still feel this way at times. It has certain gotten a lot better since the first month or so but it's still there.
Not sure if this is paws or just the healing process. The analogy of 3000 vs 114 hit the nail on the head imo. I think time will take care of it.
Not sure if this is paws or just the healing process. The analogy of 3000 vs 114 hit the nail on the head imo. I think time will take care of it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Lots of really great info in this thread! MicroMacro what you said about the anxiety feeling like a sunburn exposed to the sun was spot on! I have gone back to drinking time and time again because I hit a wall where sobriety just seemed so hard and just sucked so bad.... helps to read what others have gone through and to hear that pushing through is what will eventually lead to rewards and insights. Thanks to all of you for your wisdom.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 82
Thank you to everyone who chimed in on this one. Still feeling a bit out of sorts today but its all good. I know that it will pass over time for sure. I was having a super hard day yesterday and reached out to a friend that has some time under his belt. He shot me this quote that i am living by today.
Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength in the world behind him. Its something we call heart power. Once a man had made his commitment, nothing will stop him short of success- Vince Lombardi
I don't know, something to think about.
Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength in the world behind him. Its something we call heart power. Once a man had made his commitment, nothing will stop him short of success- Vince Lombardi
I don't know, something to think about.
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