I'm glad to be back
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Took me 10 years mate, don't let it go another 5er.
I went to rehab, asked for help and accepted within myself that I couldn't stop on my own. My suggestion is to reach out for help. Plenty of people willing to assist you on your road to recovery
I went to rehab, asked for help and accepted within myself that I couldn't stop on my own. My suggestion is to reach out for help. Plenty of people willing to assist you on your road to recovery
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
well it took me a lot longer than that to even begin LOOKING for day one.
Then when I began to recognize and actually decide on a need for a day one, it took a decade to really GET to Day One of anything sustainable.
I could have done it a lot faster..... but I didn't choose to. I guess that's how it goes for all of us. We need to arrive at our Day One, finally beaten, wounded, despairing enough to choose it.
We can fool ourselves into a rationalization that we're "Trying".
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a friend.... he is homeless. He's fallen so far. He was sitting in a bus shelter where he's currently basically living. Had been in a sober / recovery home but left there to go back to the streets.
"I've tried it all, man. I've tried rehab, psych wards, every drug imaginable, I've done it all..... I even had 6 months sober but nothing changes...... it doesn't matter. This isn't about sobriety"
What a heartbreaking statement. 6 months of sobriety in a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse. It doesn't magically change everything. It's a daily committed choice. It took me over a year to really move into the richness of sobriety and to begin to transcend the darkness for the light. And every day of that year or so I had to renew my choice; that I wanted sobriety and that I wanted to live life to the fullest and heal and be free of the darkness.
Yet to get to that point, I had to deny, rationalize, suffer consequences, wake up in jail, lose privileges, endure divorces, lose a mountain of money, throw away treasured moments of my life again and again and again for blackouts and hangovers and physical, emotional and spiritual suffering.
But you know what? AT ANY TIME WE CAN CHOOSE IT.
You don't have to try and try and try to find a way to drink normally.
You don't have to spend years and years and decades more at this experiment.
You don't have to give yourself more and more and more evidence that what you really want is a sober, rich, deep, rewarding life.
You don't have to wake up in jail.
You don't have to go to prison.
You don't have to kill someone.
You don't have to lose absolutely everything.... time and again.
IN FACT.......
ANY.
TIME.
YOU.
WANT.
YOU can make the choice to embrace sobriety, to reach out and grab life, to live with richness and depth and presence and to grow and discover the incredible gift that life is.
Yes, it takes work.
Yes, it takes commitment.
Yes, it takes dedication.
Yes, it will be hard for a while.
BUT......
It's actually as simple as deciding it, and doing it.
Then when I began to recognize and actually decide on a need for a day one, it took a decade to really GET to Day One of anything sustainable.
I could have done it a lot faster..... but I didn't choose to. I guess that's how it goes for all of us. We need to arrive at our Day One, finally beaten, wounded, despairing enough to choose it.
We can fool ourselves into a rationalization that we're "Trying".
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a friend.... he is homeless. He's fallen so far. He was sitting in a bus shelter where he's currently basically living. Had been in a sober / recovery home but left there to go back to the streets.
"I've tried it all, man. I've tried rehab, psych wards, every drug imaginable, I've done it all..... I even had 6 months sober but nothing changes...... it doesn't matter. This isn't about sobriety"
What a heartbreaking statement. 6 months of sobriety in a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse. It doesn't magically change everything. It's a daily committed choice. It took me over a year to really move into the richness of sobriety and to begin to transcend the darkness for the light. And every day of that year or so I had to renew my choice; that I wanted sobriety and that I wanted to live life to the fullest and heal and be free of the darkness.
Yet to get to that point, I had to deny, rationalize, suffer consequences, wake up in jail, lose privileges, endure divorces, lose a mountain of money, throw away treasured moments of my life again and again and again for blackouts and hangovers and physical, emotional and spiritual suffering.
But you know what? AT ANY TIME WE CAN CHOOSE IT.
You don't have to try and try and try to find a way to drink normally.
You don't have to spend years and years and decades more at this experiment.
You don't have to give yourself more and more and more evidence that what you really want is a sober, rich, deep, rewarding life.
You don't have to wake up in jail.
You don't have to go to prison.
You don't have to kill someone.
You don't have to lose absolutely everything.... time and again.
IN FACT.......
ANY.
TIME.
YOU.
WANT.
YOU can make the choice to embrace sobriety, to reach out and grab life, to live with richness and depth and presence and to grow and discover the incredible gift that life is.
Yes, it takes work.
Yes, it takes commitment.
Yes, it takes dedication.
Yes, it will be hard for a while.
BUT......
It's actually as simple as deciding it, and doing it.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Experiencing new found humility was very important - it may save ones life.
Hope you find the willingness to be willing. It started with that for me then made a decision to take some action in support of my new found willingness. The first week and month weren't easy, but pretty soon habits changed and there was hope.
Everyone who comes here has that same opportunity - the ones who get sober dig deep and find that initiative. Changing what I did yesterday made the difference. Going to a lot of meetings, talking daily with other alcoholics and seeking spiritual guidance is what got me on a path of sobriety after 35 years of drinking.
Hope you find the willingness to be willing. It started with that for me then made a decision to take some action in support of my new found willingness. The first week and month weren't easy, but pretty soon habits changed and there was hope.
Everyone who comes here has that same opportunity - the ones who get sober dig deep and find that initiative. Changing what I did yesterday made the difference. Going to a lot of meetings, talking daily with other alcoholics and seeking spiritual guidance is what got me on a path of sobriety after 35 years of drinking.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Deserto 
...I am still looking for day one.
Not sure if you have tried a structured program of recovery. If you haven't, give it some thought if the struggle of doing it on your own has been ineffective.
And for SR to help, you have to use it. I'm approaching seven years without a drink. I come to SR pretty much daily, several times a day in fact. So again, make SR part of your daily support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Help me find it.
Here's a great thread for you to join in the conversation with other people who have chosen to stop this month:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
I posted to my "Class" thread for a long time - daily. I'm a "Marcher" too.
Just post and keep reading. Welcome back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome back Deserto
My advice is to get as much support as you can, don;t rule anything out, try every avenue....even the things you've been hesitant to look at before.
The only way to beat this monster is to put effort in - feed the good wolf.
There's tons of support and good ideas here
one question tho - what do you think keeps drawing you back to drinking?
D
My advice is to get as much support as you can, don;t rule anything out, try every avenue....even the things you've been hesitant to look at before.
The only way to beat this monster is to put effort in - feed the good wolf.
There's tons of support and good ideas here
one question tho - what do you think keeps drawing you back to drinking?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hey my friend, good to see you here again! I've had a bumpy ride of it too since we last spoke, but have now got 13 months again. It takes more effort every time we relapse I think.
I'm still in touch with lots of our old May 2012 crowd...HitRockBottom, OnelessLonely and others.
Keep posting, don't disappear again, there is always hope after relapse, I'm proof of that ❤️
I'm still in touch with lots of our old May 2012 crowd...HitRockBottom, OnelessLonely and others.
Keep posting, don't disappear again, there is always hope after relapse, I'm proof of that ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
well it took me a lot longer than that to even begin LOOKING for day one.
Then when I began to recognize and actually decide on a need for a day one, it took a decade to really GET to Day One of anything sustainable.
I could have done it a lot faster..... but I didn't choose to. I guess that's how it goes for all of us. We need to arrive at our Day One, finally beaten, wounded, despairing enough to choose it.
We can fool ourselves into a rationalization that we're "Trying".
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a friend.... he is homeless. He's fallen so far. He was sitting in a bus shelter where he's currently basically living. Had been in a sober / recovery home but left there to go back to the streets.
"I've tried it all, man. I've tried rehab, psych wards, every drug imaginable, I've done it all..... I even had 6 months sober but nothing changes...... it doesn't matter. This isn't about sobriety"
What a heartbreaking statement. 6 months of sobriety in a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse. It doesn't magically change everything. It's a daily committed choice. It took me over a year to really move into the richness of sobriety and to begin to transcend the darkness for the light. And every day of that year or so I had to renew my choice; that I wanted sobriety and that I wanted to live life to the fullest and heal and be free of the darkness.
Yet to get to that point, I had to deny, rationalize, suffer consequences, wake up in jail, lose privileges, endure divorces, lose a mountain of money, throw away treasured moments of my life again and again and again for blackouts and hangovers and physical, emotional and spiritual suffering.
But you know what? AT ANY TIME WE CAN CHOOSE IT.
You don't have to try and try and try to find a way to drink normally.
You don't have to spend years and years and decades more at this experiment.
You don't have to give yourself more and more and more evidence that what you really want is a sober, rich, deep, rewarding life.
You don't have to wake up in jail.
You don't have to go to prison.
You don't have to kill someone.
You don't have to lose absolutely everything.... time and again.
IN FACT.......
ANY.
TIME.
YOU.
WANT.
YOU can make the choice to embrace sobriety, to reach out and grab life, to live with richness and depth and presence and to grow and discover the incredible gift that life is.
Yes, it takes work.
Yes, it takes commitment.
Yes, it takes dedication.
Yes, it will be hard for a while.
BUT......
It's actually as simple as deciding it, and doing it.
Then when I began to recognize and actually decide on a need for a day one, it took a decade to really GET to Day One of anything sustainable.
I could have done it a lot faster..... but I didn't choose to. I guess that's how it goes for all of us. We need to arrive at our Day One, finally beaten, wounded, despairing enough to choose it.
We can fool ourselves into a rationalization that we're "Trying".
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a friend.... he is homeless. He's fallen so far. He was sitting in a bus shelter where he's currently basically living. Had been in a sober / recovery home but left there to go back to the streets.
"I've tried it all, man. I've tried rehab, psych wards, every drug imaginable, I've done it all..... I even had 6 months sober but nothing changes...... it doesn't matter. This isn't about sobriety"
What a heartbreaking statement. 6 months of sobriety in a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse. It doesn't magically change everything. It's a daily committed choice. It took me over a year to really move into the richness of sobriety and to begin to transcend the darkness for the light. And every day of that year or so I had to renew my choice; that I wanted sobriety and that I wanted to live life to the fullest and heal and be free of the darkness.
Yet to get to that point, I had to deny, rationalize, suffer consequences, wake up in jail, lose privileges, endure divorces, lose a mountain of money, throw away treasured moments of my life again and again and again for blackouts and hangovers and physical, emotional and spiritual suffering.
But you know what? AT ANY TIME WE CAN CHOOSE IT.
You don't have to try and try and try to find a way to drink normally.
You don't have to spend years and years and decades more at this experiment.
You don't have to give yourself more and more and more evidence that what you really want is a sober, rich, deep, rewarding life.
You don't have to wake up in jail.
You don't have to go to prison.
You don't have to kill someone.
You don't have to lose absolutely everything.... time and again.
IN FACT.......
ANY.
TIME.
YOU.
WANT.
YOU can make the choice to embrace sobriety, to reach out and grab life, to live with richness and depth and presence and to grow and discover the incredible gift that life is.
Yes, it takes work.
Yes, it takes commitment.
Yes, it takes dedication.
Yes, it will be hard for a while.
BUT......
It's actually as simple as deciding it, and doing it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Hi there, deserto! Welcome back.
Ehemmmmm, Jeni. You forgot to mention someone else from the Mayans you keep in touch with... wehav!
Deserto, I made it to six months from may of 2012. I loved the Mayans, you were all a huge part of why I made it that time for a while. But for the third time in a row, I started drinking right around the 6 month mark.
I thought I had tried everything. I couldn't understand why I couldn't find lasting sobriety. I really tried so flipping hard. I tried all sorts of ways. I even did outpatient rehab.
I've since realized I was still missing two key ingredients to my lasting sobriety. In February, 2013, I felt in e again I'd better stop if I wanted to have any sort of good life. No big epiphany, no horrible consequence of drinking, no additional confrontation from a loved one, no melodramatic reason. I just decided enough was enough. So I stopped.
I knew I had to be even more open than before. I knew I had to do something, possibly everything, differently from before. Try as I might, even though I had limited success with the other things I'd done, the bottom line is I'd ended up drunk.
The first thing I did was simple: be honest. Totally, completely, verbal diarrhea leaking, stupidly honest. I hadn't beenLYING before per se, but I definitely didn't say everything on my mind. I started to talk about all of my feelings, even the ugly ones.
This was huge. When six months approached, for the first time ever, I confessed how stressed out I was about relapsing. Guess what? I didn't relapse! It was so cool to be honest about my fears, stop being concerned about putting up a front of being ok all the time and strong and all that bull. So I did pretty well. But it was still hard.
I knew I had to do something further if I wanted to stay sober. I had been to aa meetings, even had a sponsor once. But I'd never done the steps all the way. One day, an sr friend said she was told by her sponsor it was time to help another. This person was far away geographically, but we gave it a shot with Skype. By then I was10 months or so sober.
The steps were a pain in the ass. Step 4 took me forever, I couldn't seem to get through it. I was totallyblocked. But mysponsor kindly nudged me and I got it done. By then, I trusted her completely, so 5 was a breeze. Then the magic happened. I can't tell you which day or which step, but at some point the obsession to drink that I'd been trying so hard to keepahead of just vanished. Gone.
I don't feel dramatic at all saying the aa steps saved my life. I still have the occasional thought of drinking, drinking dreams, etc. but they don't have the weight or stress they used to have. And I haven't ended up drunk for four years now.
My advice: be honest. Stupidly honest if you have to. Find a plan, stick to it. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Your comfort zone isdrinking, so you have to get uncomfortable to stop andstay stopped.
If you are willing to do what it takes, you will have a life. A fantastic, free life.
Ehemmmmm, Jeni. You forgot to mention someone else from the Mayans you keep in touch with... wehav!
Deserto, I made it to six months from may of 2012. I loved the Mayans, you were all a huge part of why I made it that time for a while. But for the third time in a row, I started drinking right around the 6 month mark.
I thought I had tried everything. I couldn't understand why I couldn't find lasting sobriety. I really tried so flipping hard. I tried all sorts of ways. I even did outpatient rehab.
I've since realized I was still missing two key ingredients to my lasting sobriety. In February, 2013, I felt in e again I'd better stop if I wanted to have any sort of good life. No big epiphany, no horrible consequence of drinking, no additional confrontation from a loved one, no melodramatic reason. I just decided enough was enough. So I stopped.
I knew I had to be even more open than before. I knew I had to do something, possibly everything, differently from before. Try as I might, even though I had limited success with the other things I'd done, the bottom line is I'd ended up drunk.
The first thing I did was simple: be honest. Totally, completely, verbal diarrhea leaking, stupidly honest. I hadn't beenLYING before per se, but I definitely didn't say everything on my mind. I started to talk about all of my feelings, even the ugly ones.
This was huge. When six months approached, for the first time ever, I confessed how stressed out I was about relapsing. Guess what? I didn't relapse! It was so cool to be honest about my fears, stop being concerned about putting up a front of being ok all the time and strong and all that bull. So I did pretty well. But it was still hard.
I knew I had to do something further if I wanted to stay sober. I had been to aa meetings, even had a sponsor once. But I'd never done the steps all the way. One day, an sr friend said she was told by her sponsor it was time to help another. This person was far away geographically, but we gave it a shot with Skype. By then I was10 months or so sober.
The steps were a pain in the ass. Step 4 took me forever, I couldn't seem to get through it. I was totallyblocked. But mysponsor kindly nudged me and I got it done. By then, I trusted her completely, so 5 was a breeze. Then the magic happened. I can't tell you which day or which step, but at some point the obsession to drink that I'd been trying so hard to keepahead of just vanished. Gone.
I don't feel dramatic at all saying the aa steps saved my life. I still have the occasional thought of drinking, drinking dreams, etc. but they don't have the weight or stress they used to have. And I haven't ended up drunk for four years now.
My advice: be honest. Stupidly honest if you have to. Find a plan, stick to it. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Your comfort zone isdrinking, so you have to get uncomfortable to stop andstay stopped.
If you are willing to do what it takes, you will have a life. A fantastic, free life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
