I was ready
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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I was ready
I was ready to put down a retainer if I liked the lawyer but now is not the time. I should wait. I feel like HP had it all planned out almost 3 years ago but my self will got in the way. UGH. Now HP is teaching me patience. I must wait and accept that now is not the right time. I must focus on my children and myself.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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Yes I'm scared....but this is under the advisement of a lawyer. I've been praying to HP to have the children to open up to counseling. This counsel would have been one of the court's GAL. If they're not talking to this person their not going to talk to GAL.
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Yes, I think I'd talk with a few lawyers--at least a couple more. Did you describe the abuse in your household? I think it's odd someone would suggest that you stay longer for the sake of getting more information from the counselor.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Does this lawyer have a philosophical or religious personal agenda?
I had paid mine a retainer and the papers were drawn up. Apparently the ex went in and told him there wasn't going to be a divorce. So when I called after a couple of months to find out where things stood, "my" lawyer had done nothing.
I wish I knew then what I know now, because I'd have filed a complaint against his sorry sexist "family values" butt, but I didn't.
Just saying that lawyers are people, too, and there are good and bad. They don't always act in your best interest.
I had paid mine a retainer and the papers were drawn up. Apparently the ex went in and told him there wasn't going to be a divorce. So when I called after a couple of months to find out where things stood, "my" lawyer had done nothing.
I wish I knew then what I know now, because I'd have filed a complaint against his sorry sexist "family values" butt, but I didn't.
Just saying that lawyers are people, too, and there are good and bad. They don't always act in your best interest.
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It can be difficult to find a good lawyer, though like others have mentioned be sure to meet with at least a couple to find the best fit, and be completely 100% honest with what's going on.
Don't keep making up excuses for your codependency, you know the right thing to do!
Don't keep making up excuses for your codependency, you know the right thing to do!
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 208
Definitely meet with another attorney, call around, some do phone appointments. Our office would never tell you to stay in a toxic and abusive relationship.
Just like with any other huge purchase you make, you don't buy the first car you see and you don't buy the first house. Shop around. Be CONFIDENT in your decision.
Just like with any other huge purchase you make, you don't buy the first car you see and you don't buy the first house. Shop around. Be CONFIDENT in your decision.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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One other little thing. If you meet with a few good attorneys that come highly recommended, even if you don't end up retaining them, it would become a conflict of interest for them to represent your husband. It blocks them basically.
Just some food for thought friend. Tight hugs.
Just some food for thought friend. Tight hugs.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 208
Originally Posted by hopeful4 
One other little thing. If you meet with a few good attorneys that come highly recommended, even if you don't end up retaining them, it would become a conflict of interest for them to represent your husband. It blocks them basically.
Just some food for thought friend. Tight hugs.
Just some food for thought friend. Tight hugs.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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Originally Posted by LexieCat
Yes, I think I'd talk with a few lawyers--at least a couple more. Did you describe the abuse in your household? I think it's odd someone would suggest that you stay longer for the sake of getting more information from the counselor.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Well, there you go. This is NOT the kind of lawyer you want to hire. Call some more. I thought it was very odd that it took this long to get an appointment with this one. Most are happy to see a potential client on short notice. And most are MUCH more interested in their clients than this one apparently was.
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The other thing is many changes. There's a changing of the guard, new GALs and new judge. If lawyer doesn't know how they will be, no confidence yet how am I to have faith in this lawyer or any lawyer. The other thing is electronic filing he finds out before he gets served.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Have you talked with an advocate about the availability of a protective order? That might be a good first step. It would get him out of the house before any divorce papers are served. A good lawyer will be able to help you plan, regardless of changes in judges and GALs. This one barely gave you the time of day.
Talk to some more--it is well worth it not to take the first opinion you get--especially with someone as apparently disinterested as this one was.
Talk to some more--it is well worth it not to take the first opinion you get--especially with someone as apparently disinterested as this one was.
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I am feeling really low lately at home. I started keeping a journal of my feelings and his interactions. I have been more informative to him about things I would like, phone calls help with housework. He has been listening to a small degree not completely getting what it but I always get some form of mockery or verbal or non verbal push back like a 10 year old who doesn't really want to do anything. I started talking about my day and got mockery. I was trying to talk about starting to order the marker for mother.
Work for both of us has been super busy so we have not had time to talk. He has not made any effort to bond. I have not had time to look up lawyers though web searched some. His drinking is down this week, that I know of, but still above what is recommended drinking.
The thing is even if placement doesn't go well with the children. I hope it doesgo well. I know I don't want to be married to him anymore.
Work for both of us has been super busy so we have not had time to talk. He has not made any effort to bond. I have not had time to look up lawyers though web searched some. His drinking is down this week, that I know of, but still above what is recommended drinking.
The thing is even if placement doesn't go well with the children. I hope it doesgo well. I know I don't want to be married to him anymore.
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