Al31

Well after another massive night of drinking and probably massively embarrassing myself I spent yesterday in bed all day. I only moved to get some water. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and of loosing whole days of my life. So today is day 1. Again!! Don't know how many more day 1's I can do though!!

Aquafina

I'm scared myself. Day 2 can happen.

Dee74

Hi Al

I know you're a barman and don't want to change jobs. I know you've decided AA's not for you...

I guess it comes down to what are you prepared to do to change?

Are you open to another meeting based group approach like SMART or LifeRing?

would you be interested in Rational Recovery and AVRT (no meetings) ?

would you see a Dr or a counsellor?

Consider inpatient or outpatient rehab?

Would you join the Class of March group and post in that at least daily if not more to find support when you the urge to drink comes upon you?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-one-8.html

One thing I found - and I think this applies to everyone who's ever been successful in leaving addiction behind...is to get change you need to make change.

Trying what you've tried before (only 'trying harder') is usually the default position...

but that's likely only to give you the same results you got last time?

Try something/s different

D

Done4today

Good luck Al,

We all have been there. There is a saying that you have to be willing to do whatever it takes if you want long term sobriety. That might mean doing AA or some other program of recovery. I was so desperate to stop I would have done anything. I learned through AA that my best thinking and choices got me drunk. Why not give AA 90 days and see where that gets me. I was promised a refund on my misery if AA didn't work.

Good luck and keep coming back

PurpleKnight

Nothing changes if nothing changes, it took me a long time to learn that lesson, but it can be done!!

You can do this!!

Anna

You don't have to do another Day 1. You can make the changes you need to make and turn your life around. Try to figure out what you can add to your plan to make it work and go for it.

Al31

Thanks for your comments.

I know I need to make a change and I am properly looking for another job. Hopefully that will make quitting easier.

It's just how to deal with the interim.

My anxiety was through the roof till I spoke to my boss today. On Saturday I'd got drunk where I work (after my day shift). Anyway I didn't do anything wrong so I instantly felt like it'd got a away with it again and therefore the urge to drink came straight back...

NewRomanMan

How will looking for another job make quitting easier? Really has nothing to do with it. People make all kinds of changes in their lives believing that if I just do this or have this happen, then I can get sober, or this will help me to get sober. Reality is none of that stuff has any bearing on sobriety. A person committed to getting sober can do so under any circumstances and the person committed to drinking can do so under any circumstances. Bottom line? How bad do I really want sobriety? Just my opinion. Nothing more.

Dee74

I think when you're a barman and you're finding it hard to quit, looking for a new job probably will make it easier.

That being said, I know a lot of sober barman, and I think that's what NRM is getting at - don't wait to quit your job to try and get sober.

D

ScottFromWI

Actually, it should be about how to deal with now. Getting a different job won't make quitting any easier because quitting is actually the easy part. Staying stopped is the hard part...and having a new job ( or a new house, or a new car, or a new relationship ) is not going to change that unfortunately.

What will make it easier is making a 100% iron clad promise to yourself that you will not drink no matter what. Along with that, accepting that taking even one drink is not an option now or ever can help get you started too. Your addiction will find a myriad of reasons why quitting shoud be put off until later...of course it will, because that means you keep drinking today...which is all it needs, right?

Outonthetiles

The answers are there if you want it:
1. Quit job, get new job not in a bar.
2. Get serious about this.
3. Join a program.

Al31

I understand we're you're all coming from.

However I think it's harder to be around something you're wanting to abstain from.

Anyway I didn't drink last night during my shift or afterwards. And although my sleep was rubbish, I feel really good about it today!!

neferkamichael

Al31, I went through 20+ years of day ones and now goin on 7 years sober. Just never give up, rootin for ya.

Willadoit

Me too, more day one's than I can even remember, and steadily getting in a worse state on each one.
This last day one, dragged on into day 2 day 3 day4 day 5before I finally started to get a little respite on day 6.
I'll never have another day 1

I used to work in a bar, and I found end of evening shift, drink, impossible to pass up, it wasn't so much the alcohol then, but the camaraderie we all felt after surviving the battle zone!

I have no real advice on the job. But I know myself, I will only have to have another day 1 if I start thinking I can handle even a little drink.