Whendovescry

Hi everyone,
Was going to make my username Reaching out , but it was taken, then Comfortably Numb, so Prince it is. I had my last drink last night, and every night probably since start of January, and every day I wake up saying not tonight. So, tonight, no alcohol with a view to get through til Friday.
I have a wonderful but very stressful job, two beautiful children who I share custody with week about, paying off a mortgage, great bunch of friends. But I drink way way too much so hoping I can find some inspiration, or even just support and understanding here.
It has become such a big part of my life. I drink because life can be hard, I drink cos I'm happy, cos I have no work tomorrow, cos I Have work tomorrow .... Socially, on my own...And I really want to cut right back to weekends like I used to. I don't want to 'need' to have a drink.
So that's a bit about me, wish me luck for tonight but I am confident.

stillsleeping

Hey Whendovescry, great name

I think you just described a whole bunch of us here! I've given up on the idea of being able to drink at the weekend though - right now I'm focussing on beating my personal best of three days sober lol.

Ace to meet you

Aquafina

Welcome to the forum Whendovescry. Do you have any ideas for a plan this week? Have you stopped drinking before?

Whendovescry

Hi still sleeping, and thanks! To be honest three days would be a record for me, Tuesday will be the test as I don't work Wednesdays. I figure any cutting back will be a good start but really hoping to get to the weekend, realistically it will be Tuesday, tonight will be good for me as Public holiday tomorrow.

Whendovescry

Hi Aquafina Work Tuesday, Thursday and Friday and carless til Thursday as have a transmission to get fixed. Kids are home for the week tonight so that will inspire me tonight.
I stopped during my two pregnancies 10 and thirteen years ago and then 2 weeks 9 years ago when my Dad got sick. Aside from that two days is my longest.

Grymt

You will be told many things that you'll choose not to believe until, like many of us, you have direct experience, hopefully not too many years and disasters in the future, and realise that moderation for an alcoholic is futile.

Checked out Dhamma Padipa in Brookton. They have a couple of courses coming up with seats still available.

Aquafina

Be careful about withdrawals. Try to stay positive.

Whendovescry

Thanks Grymt, and deep in my heart what you say I know is probably true. To not drink on my own or any cutting back may help show me I can do it. It will be a start. And I needed to find a place like this to remind me and to just be able to talk about it. I say I drink too much with a stupid laugh to friends, but noone really knows the extent of just how too much it is

Dee74

Welcome aboard whendovescry

D

redfalcon

Welcome whendovescry!!!! Another WA person!! Get stuck into the sticky section in the newcomers section, allot of good info there. And as Dee likes to say to everyone, you need to have arecovery plan. If you have a true drinking problem, and do not have a plan, your chances of not drinking again are very low. Most people find that if they have a true drinking problem, moderation doesn't work either, only abstinence. But this is your journey, so have a crack at that first if you like. Everyone on here will be supportive and extremely helpful

Whendovescry

Thanks for the welcome and hi Dee!
Hi redfalcon and thanks for the reply, I've been exploring the site. I know I have a true drinking problem, up to near on 3 bottles of bourbon a week lately. It feels like a wonderfully supportive and helpful community already.
One thing I wasn't aware of is withdrawal symptons, have just been reading up on that.

D122y

When,

The av tells us we drink because of....whatever....anything....good..bad...we want to drink.

Some...like me...would go a week or 2 w no booze...then binge like there is no tomorrow.

Others drink daily....others drink all day.

No matter how we do it...we all have the main issue....addiction.

Addicted to booze....alcoholic.

Look in the mirror...see an addict. I do it every day.

It has taken 22 months for me to get to this state of recovery. I crave almost daily...at some point.

My av says...the wife is at work...I'm off until monday...nobody knows...nobody cares....drink up....

My analytical mind stops me. I know drinking fries my brain and my body.

I am now educated all about booze.....because of this site and the internet.

Now that I am no longer physically addicted...I only deal w the mental.

Drinking initially made me feel great...eventually...20 years later....I would be doing shots in my room and asking myself....why am I doing this....I hated doing it...but I was addicted.

It takes a long long time to get mentally healed. I am still healing. The whole time relapse looms.

It is all about a change in perspective. A lifestyle change. Otherwise, we are unhappy w out our booze.

Thanks.

Whendovescry

D122, thankyou for your reply, and well done on your very impressive sober date! I acknowledge my addictive personality, that I am an addict, I mean how can I be so stupid as to go against myself and my better judgement every day. I'm the same with smokes, quit for 8 years, took it up again last January. It makes me feel weak every time I go against what I know is killing me slowly and going to end up hurting my beautiful children when it shortens my life.
I can't afford it at all, I am a single Mum paying off a mortgage. I know every good reason, but AV doesn't, but I am working on it. But to quote your quote lol, a crawl is where I am beginning.
I'm scared of facing life sober too, having to deal with my emotions and past without a fog. But I know there are other avenues to deal with that. That unhappiness without booze you mentioned is what I am scared of.
Having hope is one thing I'm good at.

Berrybean

Welcome. Glad you found us.

It's my 3 years sober day today and just finished chatting to a friend I first met in AA. We were reflecting on that in the past our home came from the fact that alcohol was always on the horizon. As soon as I recovered from one binge I started looking forward to the next - that promise of escape and relief. When I first stopped drinking I was left hopeless. Adrift. Clueless as to where these feeling that were surging up were coming from, or how to deal with them. Just so hopeless, and restless, irritable and discontent.

When I went to AA and found this place (both around the same time, but here first I think) I started to see slight glimmer of hope in the other alcoholics in recovery who I met and communicated with. I held on to that hope and just tried to keep everything in the day (just worry about staying sober for right now - deal with tomorrow tomorrow. Deal, with your birthday on your birthday. Weddings when they happen. Christmas when that comes (actually last Christmas for me was the most wonderful ever - and only a few years ago Christmas pretty much revolved around drinking).

I know moderation might seem like an easier option at the moment, but really, it just isn't. And anyway, when I'm honest with myself, if someone told me I could have a drink or two and avoid getting proper drunk I'd have told them to stick it. I wanted proper drunk. Always did from the first time I knew what it felt like. Just a couple really is no use to me.i just couldn't see that back then. I was too far into denial.

Anyway, that's just me experience for what it's worth.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Whendovescry

Hi BerryBean and congratulations on three years! That is fantastic and inspiring. What I am feeling from the short time and little I have read on here is that there is an understanding. One my friends don't get when I say I drink too much. They can go all week without one, they don't need one. That horizon you spoke about with your friend, that I so look forward to. I know I need a different horizon to look forward to. I also know how much money I would save not drinking, perhaps a holiday horizon. And I'm already thinking how could I go on holidays and not drink?! So thankyou for your advice to just concentrate on one day. And well done on your three years again

Can anyone tell me? The groups Class of March 17 etc, are they for when people joined? Or had their last drink? Or something else? Thanks.

Berrybean

I got a lot out of reading about the fruits of the spirit as well - these are where the real comfort and joy lies for us. I needed to stop grabbing at all those things that were my instant gratification - drink, needless shopping, candy, sex / flirtations. Others may include gambling, risk-taking for adrenaline hits, porn, drugs (illegal ones or misusing prescription or legal drugs). Without a recovery plan it's easy to find ourselves just reaching for another crutch that can become equally destructive.

I'd also say, try to be wary of major triggers for drinking. Some of these are hunger or thirst, anger, loneliness and feeling tired (remember with the an acronym HALT). When you find yourself feeling restless, irritable and discontent, do a quick check of these. Often one or two will be at play and you can find family quick relief by dealing with whichever are rattling your cage at that time. Try to plan your day so that you have a really good chance of avoiding these things whenever possible.

Good luck.

BB

Kimmy2002

Hi Whendovescry, Welcome to SR. Xx
The classes are for those who have decided to stop, so for your case you would be in the March 2017 class. It is a really great motivator and everybody is roughly around the same point in their journey of sobriety. I have tried to copy and past the link but it won't work. Sorry. I'm sure the the next poster will be able to do so for you. Xx

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support for getting sober here.

Plure

Welcome! Those first few days to a week are rough but you're doing the right thing by cutting back. Like you I was drinking for every occasion; strike that, I was drinking every day irrespective of the occasion.

For me alcohol was my anxiety med (had anxiety since a teenager), but unfortunately alcohol is a horrible solution long-term for that. I'm right at 4 months sober and really feeling good about things and my life in general.

Hang in there and post up often!

Delilah1

Hello, and welcome to SR! This is a wonderfully supportive community. Like you, I stopped drinking during my three pregnancies,but started up again soon after. I was drinking wine every night, and it was just about always way too much. I found this site in March of 2012, and my first serious attempt at sobriety was that October. I hit the 90 day mark and thought "I can have an occasional glass of wine." That led to a three year mental battle where I alternated betweeen brief periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation. I have just over 14 months sober now and life is much better. I am a better mom, wife, employee, person.

Two great threads are the monthly classes, and the 24 hour bread. You can join the March of 2017 class, you will find the support of others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety this month. Also, the 24 hour thread. It is a great place to commit to remaining sober for the next 24 hours, and you will find a great group of people as well.

You can do this, and I promise sobriety is worth it!!!

❤Delilah