First post, is this a disaster waiting to happen?

Old 03-02-2017, 04:48 AM
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First post, is this a disaster waiting to happen?

I have been through so much in the last two years with my husband. It kills me to say that he is a heroin addict. I mean when I think about it, sit down and try to wrap my brain around it, I feel like this can NOT be real and this must all be a sick joke. I'm sure we have all felt the same. I had (yes had) a great life. We were that "it" couple, full of life and ready to take on the world together. We've been together for so many years that I couldn't wait to get married and start the next chapter of our lives, babies, building our dream house, vacations, everything that comes from hard work and a desire to face life head on. . . When I found out that my husband who works in the medical field had started taking percocet I went insane, when I found out that that addiction lead to him sticking needles in his veins..... loosing it doesnt even begin to explain how I felt. In the last YEAR, (I say this shockingly because I can not believe what has transpired in one short year) he has been to three rehabs all unsuccessful, I have kicked him out and taken him back numerous times, and he has most recently been arrested. He was pulled over with a single bag of heroin in the car. Sadly, this did not lead to much... he was placed on a probation that we have in my state where you have to call into the probation office every morning and if they call your color (which they do about three times a week) you have to immediately show up at the office for a drug test. During this probation he had 60 days clean and sober. It was the most amazing time, I know how sick this must sound, but I had peace. It was no longer up to me to be the "sober police", he had to answer to the law, and after three nights in jail the law was his biggest fear. We were back to normal, having fun, going out on dates, going to movies, enjoying life like the old days and im not ashamed to say that it felt amazing. . . This all came to an end monday when he had court and EVERY CHARGE WAS DROPPED DUE TO HIS SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF THE COLOR SYSTEM!!!!!!! ... I was devastated. only two months? seriously? two months of probation for HEROIN!! I mean it's no wonder they dont learn their lessons or have any fear..... Now the sober police is back, its been three days and I already feel like im right back to where I was a few months ago, afraid, anxiety ridden, and most of all just plain sad. Is his relapsing next? I of course want to hope not but I have been through this many times... I just don't know if I can handle another episode.

- Thanks for reading*
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Old 03-02-2017, 07:56 AM
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Hello and welcome.

There is an H epidemic in the world right now. It's not at all suprising to me that his charges were dropped. Honestly, the system does not know what to do with these people. There needs to be money for in depth recovery systems, however, countries are strapped for money. It's horrible.

My Xhusband is an alcoholic and addicted to Rx drugs. He blacked out and caused thousands of dollars of damage to people he did not know. A serious offense. He got off with probation and paying for the damage. He has a really good job, it all fell off his record once the probation ended.

It's pretty amazing what people get by with.

So a more in depth question is what do you plan to do for YOURSELF? What do you have control over to give yourself peace in the future.

I am sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.
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Old 03-02-2017, 08:13 AM
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Hugs and prayers, Hopefulone18.
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Old 03-02-2017, 09:19 AM
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Thank you for sharing. Is your husband behaving differently since the courts dismissal? I would feel nervous myself if I was in your situation because your experiences have been very trying to say the least.

I was told opiate addiction is highly treatable and there are several medications that work well to help stop cravings and other symptoms. Possibly you could talk to your husband and suggest he work with his Dr to add in something like this to help promote long term recovery along with guided therapy?

Do you for think it would be comforting to know he has a plan in place to prevent relapsing again? Nothing is ever certain, but he should use all resources at his disposal. He was lucky to get another chance, I doesn't always happen.
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Old 03-02-2017, 09:24 AM
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Welcome to the Board. I'm sorry about what has brought you here, but thankful that you took that ever important first step to post.

As for your question -- is this a disaster waiting to happen -- it already has happened. When you're living your life as a member of the sobriety police, you've stopped being one partner in a marriage and started being your spouse's keeper and parent.

We can't give you marriage advice. But what we can tell you is to keep your eyes open, for they aren't lying. There is a very good probability that he will relapse, and if that day comes, you need to have a plan in place to respond to that. Sometimes decisions that we don't want to make are forced upon us, and when they arrive, we have to be ready.

Keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.
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